Trisphee - Dear Diary... Closed for now.

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- - Dear Diary... Closed for now. (http://www.trisphee.com/forums/showthread.php?t=651)

Dear rude person,

Did you not see what I wrote? At first, I had asked you a simple question, and you ignored me. Then, when I offered you a deal that would benefit the both of us, you also ignored me. Do you have any idea how much that infuriates me? I do not like being ignored! At LEAST give me some kind of affirmation that you've acknowledged my presence!

Sincerely,
pissed off me

Dear me,

Someday you wont have to listen to my parents arguing over something stupid. Someday you wont have to listen to your Dad being over zealous and stupid. You wont be like him, you'll be a better than him. You have the best role model to thank for that. It's hard now, but you can do it.

To my emotional side:

It's alright. You're free to feel everything you want to feel. You're allowed to be hurt. But, let's try to analyze this for a moment.

You know this helps, because you know yourself. How long have you been battling this depression? One third of your life. You had one successful therapist, whom you no longer can afford to see, but who gave you the courage to believe in yourself. Your mind. The very fact that you do know yourself. You had countless others that tried to tell you what was wrong with you, and you knew they were wrong. You were brave enough to say so, to put an end to the nonsense, to say what you needed, and you have gotten better. No, you're not where you wanted to be, but you have gotten better, and you need to have faith in that fact.

You've been having... slips. That's what you call it, right? You've been slipping. You've been hurting yourself. Not badly, but you have. More than they know. More than you've told them. Because you confess to someone else every time you do. As far as everyone knows, and as far as anyone can discuss, you've had a single slip. But that's not the truth. You just rely on the assumption that with this overlying issue, they won't question details like when they were told.

But it's alright. You're not losing progress just because you've been slipping. I know the way they talk to you. The way they look at you. Especially him. Like you can't be trusted. Like you're either an idiot, or too blinded by your own issues, to know anything. But they're wrong, and you're right. You always are.

You don't remember which scars happened when anymore. You can't remember how they all happened. They're out there for everyone to see, literally, and yet they don't. They don't question. They don't have to. You're not seeking attention. You're not seeking 'help' in the way you'd probably be told. You're seeking relief. Relief from all the pressure clouding that brilliant mind. This is it. This right here, sorting through this, writing it down, making it real, and confronting it. This is what you need to keep your hands off of those scissors. Away from that lovely metal pole between your feet. Away from the lighter. Off of yourself.

Despite what people have tried to tell you, you do not delve deeper into Tris or your work to escape it all. No, you pull away from it, from everyone, from everything, until you get yourself sorted again. Except for those obsessions. This time, what has it been? Harry Potter, wands, creatures, House, ponies, Kier and Preston. Most of those are just distractions, maybe indirect relief if you get a good debate like you did... was it last night? The night before? It's alright not to remember. It's scary, but it's alright.

Kier. You know what he is to you. He's this, the expression of your frustration, turmoil, your depression made 'real'. It's yourself, as you want to be. With an excuse for how you're treated, what you feel. A bad one, but an excuse. You treat him badly, and you treat yourself badly, but you always give him happiness along the way and in the end. It's exactly what you deserve, too.

You don't have to feel silly for something so insignificant triggering this, all of these feelings, this need to fix things. You know that's how it works. You deal, things build up, and eventually, one thing is too much. It's alright.

You're going to cry tonight. And you won't want to talk. But they're going to talk to you. She's going to talk to you. You'll still be alone, in your room, in the dark, but it'll be alright. You'll be alright. And you'll honestly feel better. No faking. No masks.

You were always terrible at those, anyway.

When you're done with your obsessive rereading and editing, press submit. Share this. Don't keep it hidden. It'll be alright. And, try to actually eat your dinner.

Dear Diary,

Seriously, play your Nintendo 3DS you just bought and stop spending your time on avatar sites instead.

Sincerely,

Yourself.

Stop it.

It hasn't even been 12 hours since you last posted here.

You're not alone. You're not going to be alone. You're fine. Everyone is fine. It's alright.

Why don't you listen to yourself? They're not gone. No one is gone. No one hates you. You're a good person. It doesn't matter how you feel right now. You're not driving them away. You're not a fuck up. You're not. It's alright. You can live without messaging any of them at 6:35 in the morning. They're alright. You're alright.

Please stop thinking about the gun. You won't do it anyway, so don't drive yourself crazy with guilt.

You don't need to hear it to know you're good. You don't need to be told you've done well. It's nice, but you don't need it.

Please stop crying. You need your sleep.

Don't forget to turn the volume up. You'll feel worse if someone does message, and you miss it.

You're not broken.

You're not useless.

You're not hated.

Dear Diary,

Holy hell...

- Fallen

Dear Self,

You're addiction's kicking in. If ever it's hard to let go, please know when to stop, you're smart enough to do that.
Also, it's better to spend on food than on cigs.

-love, your lungs.

once upon a time there was a sad little bunny that felt only very happy or very sad but was always lonely no matter. one day the bunny met a dog and a mouse and they all became friends, a long time passed and the bunny hardly ever felt sad and sometimes just occasionally it felt not so lonely until one day it realized it had not felt lonely in a long time and the bunny was happy. then the mouse got sick and began to spend less and less time with the bunny and the dog but it was ok too, the bunny understood it's friend needed to get better and tried to take the loss in stride but the loneliness started coming back. this mad bunny sad and mouse knew it and so despite needing to stay healthy muse spent what time she could with bunny and dog and for a while they were happy, then one day dog's master started to call on her more and dog could spend less time with bunny and mouse and the sad which had barely begun going away came back and mouse seeing this put more effort into making bunny happy but bunny could not be consoled and this made mouse sad and mouse began to grow more ill and soon bunny began being left alone as it had been in the beginning. bunny, not being the sort to have empathy for mouse and dog soon grew mean and started mistreating mouse and fighting with dog and causing messes all over the place. dog tried to be firm but could not always be there, mouse tried to be understanding but had her own troubles leaving bunny to grow surlier and unhappier and the loneliness swelled so much inside of it that nothing short of constant and consistent attention could assuage the dull twisting ache until one day

Dear Diary
Why is it that I miss his company?
I ran and hid myself from the judging eyes of the world.
Why do I sit here so pathetically? Not taking action.
Just sitting here numb, hoping something will happen.
The emptiness is finally catching up to me and I guess I can't run away anymore.
I'll just end up sitting here, being devoured by this cruel world. By my own black heart.
Why is it that my emotions just seem to bottle itself up and then drown me in them?
Why do I still not know who I am?
I feel so hopeless. I don't think I can get through this this time.
I'm not strong enough...I'm too tired from running all the time.
I'll just get eaten and life will move on.

Dear Self,

Stop letting your mental disorder get in the way and just enjoy life. Don't let it ruin you. Look forward to every day and make the best of it.

Dear diary,

Why does everyone seem so unhappy? Is it the economy? Is it personal problems? Why do they act like nothing is wrong? Why do they pretend, put on a face, hide? Why do they think no one understands them, when a certain percentage of people on Earth are facing the same exact problems? Why can't they try harder to change something in their lives to increase their happiness?
Are they unhappy because of something I've done?

Or is it just me? Am I asking pointless questions? Should I stay or should I go?

I know what I want to do, but I don't know how to get there. What can I do to start my life?

Dear ____________,

RAWR WHY YOU GET OFF BEFORE GIVE ME STRAIGHT ANSWER!!!

GAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Sincerely,
Frustrated

Dear PayPal;

So first I was suddenly railroaded by a sudden locking of my account. No reason, just for the fun of it, right? I looked at your compromise about how to fix the "problem" that you "ran into" with my account - although I think it's HIIILLAAAAARIOUS that you don't even tell me what this "problem" is - and you tell me that I have to just hand over my Social Security number, my Tax information, my utility bills and a photo ID... even though the most I've had in my account was $50 at one time? Uh sure, let me just hand over my ENTIRE IDENTITY TO STRANGERS OVER THE INTERNET.

Yeah, no thanks.

So I ignore you for a while. After all, I only have one cent in there. But you tell me that I also cannot close my account either... which is useless. I can't do anything with you now. Of course, I'm frustrated - or rather, plain pissed - so I decided maybe you'd answer my questions though customer service like everyone else does, and we can be happy again.

Instead, I get automated responses everywhere. Not one of them tells me what the "problem" is. I guess whatever "problem" it is, isn't important enough to tell me? You know, because.. it's not like this has to do with all my bank information. Or my identity. I mean the "problem" could be someone used my account without my knowledge, but pffft, like that's important enough to tell me, right? Right.

At this point, I find out this has been scattered around and growing to more users since 2011. Because of the IRS wanting to tax large business accounts that move around tons of money all the time. Well I am not a large business, nor do I have a business account. My account says personal use and like hell I'd be moving anywhere near $2k in and out of it. So why me? Ridiculous.

Alright so I decided not to deal with you, and just use my debit card for everything, thinking that was a quick solution as far as buying stuff goes.

Oh no. Ooooohhh no.

Now I know what the "problem" is. You hate MasterCard debit cards. That's why my account was locked. That's why you wont let me pay for anything at all. That's why I can't use MY money for anything, since you are the middleman everywhere.

Unless I switch banks to one who uses Visa or something that isn't MasterCard. What the fuck.

Oh here's what your administrator said to some other people who were lucky enough to talk to a HUMAN:

After some googling since nobody else would help me with this damn problem I find others having the same or similar problems.

"Actually, anyone can contact us and we can review the account. But there's no guarantee we'd be able to tell you how to make your payment; we don't have the ability to override our security model."

"Actually, anyone can contact us and we can review the account. But there's no guarantee we'd be able to tell you how to make your payment; we don't have the ability to override our security model."

"Actually, anyone can contact us and we can review the account. But there's no guarantee we'd be able to tell you how to make your payment; we don't have the ability to override our security model."

What kind of incompetent-... Your own admins can't even do anything! How efficient.
-___-

So ohey, my money is useless now. Because my bank uses MasterCard. Something totally out of my control. Love you too, Paypal. It sucks that you're the only payment method of most everything I use.

Thank you for royally screwing me.

Sincerely,
A customer never giving you his patronage ever again.

Dear diary,
you are stronger than this. Don't do it. Don't do it. Please don't.

Love yourself.

To everyone in my life,

Why can't you stop doubting me and what I want to do? Why can't you just help me? You have everything I need. It's not being used anyway and I really, really need it as soon as possible, at least to get started.

Thanks.

Dear diary,
Here you go again on a downward spiral. You really need to stop being a cry baby. You are fat. Go throw up. Do it. Its the only way you can be skinny. You know the drill. Everything you need to do. Stay away from knifes though if they catch you again, you will be sent the a center. You are a cancer to everyone. No one really likes being around you. You just annoy people. You don't have any real friends. I laugh at you for thinking this. Why would anyone like a worthless piece of trash such as yourself.

Sincerely yourself.

Dear universe, or whatever is out there that applies to this;

I'm not sure where to start. I know this will probably be long and confusing, but I'd like someone to read it. Not necessarily care or message me of course, but it's enough to know that someone else can see it. At least then, it's not like I'm screeching things in the dark. Though anyway, nobody but those who can see my IP will know who I am, lol. It's okay if those who know to message me on my main, since I'm on there the most, but please don't tell anyone.

Just getting that out of the way, just in case. I doubt I needed to say it anyway.

This whole entry is going to be pretty grim.

Generally, I don't understand living. All you feel is terrible things. When you're "happy", it gets taken away and you just feel dreadful. When you love someone, it's like everything they say can hurt. All the good things have misery attached to it, and it's just years and years and long, miserable years of it, with no end in sight. I don't care if there is a god or not ( though personally, I don't believe there is ) but either way, I don't understand this. Is there a point? Other than "eat, breathe, sleep, work, reproduce, repeat"? That just.. doesn't appeal to me. Is there a reason why I have to live when I can't enjoy it? Is it a punishment just for existing?

Friends aren't anything of an enjoyable experience for me anymore. I can't tell them anything about what I think anymore. I can't get close to them at all, because I have to wonder if they're just going to turn it around on me. There comes a point where I'm just so sick and tired of confiding in people. I just can't do it anymore. Isolating myself is just easier. "Friends" are things that just snatch your good feelings right out of you, suck you dry, and leave you to put it back together.

Every emotion sucks me dry. All of them. I'm tired of having any of them. I just hate living when all I can expect to feel is things that just make me so tired of everything. Being happy is dreadful, because all I can do is think "when will this be taken from me", and then I'm blindsided when it is, with dread and all that nasty crap. People talk about love being all amazing, but they must be doing it wrong, because it twists me up so painfully, I want to run away from it. I'm stuck because so many people have worse problems than I do, so that makes mine pretty much irrelevant, and I have to bottle it up inside until it explodes. I just am such a mess with this right now that I want to give up on it. I don't want to deal with it. It's way too far gone for anyone to deal with. I mean, in order to fix any of this, I have to have the resources to do it, which also fills me with dread because I know that because I happen to be on the side of the less privileged, that I'm just shit out of luck. I can't get help. I don't have the means to.

My self hate.. is incredible. I guess for some people, it would seem like that. But to me, I just can't understand what would make it seem incredible. Things would have been immensely better if I was wiped off the planet. And I'm not saying that for any sympathy or attention, it's just how it is, logically. I'm a huge expense. I take up so much money. If I wasn't here, there would be so much financial gain that my family could live in much better conditions. They would be comfortable, happy. They wouldn't have to deal with my abnormalities, and the expectations that I broke. My father wouldn't have to be so disappointed in me. If I hadn't even existed in the first place, my sister might not have died, and they'd have their perfect child with her. And since she came seven years after I did, they would've had more time to save up and be prepared for her, so they would probably be so much happier. That would have been the perfect family. And even more so, because I did have a hand in how my entire extended family fell apart. The removal of my existence in this family would have been the removal of a soul-sucking stain. But I had to ruin it.

For my friends, I wouldn't need so much of their support. I wouldn't need to rant to anyone or bring anyone down with my pessimism, or cling to their attention so I wouldn't be lonely. That wouldn't happen if I wasn't here. They could live their lives flawlessly, without me hindering their happiness. My boyfriend would be with a better person. Someone who can support him happily, unlike me, who turned it the other way around, and relies on him instead even though he has worse to deal with than I do.

Nobody around me would have to deal with my selfish, hypocritical, pessimistic, disgusting and lazy existence. With me, I would take all the bad I bring. I would lift a load from their shoulders. If I just could be erased, just like that, it would fix everything. That thought... just feels relieving.

If I could make everyone hate me, and if I had the courage to do so, I would clean my entire existence off of this place. My ideal plan had always been to move out, take all my things and give them away to someone whose existence doesn't rot the atmosphere around them, and then I just wouldn't be here. I don't care, really, how it would happen. I just never want to be found, so that people would eventually forget and keep living, without wondering or worrying or being sad. I would take all the bad things I bring with me, and I wouldn't inflict it onto anyone else again. That, to me, is so relieving. I would be so relieved if I had the courage to do it, if I could feel relieved afterward. I mean, thinking about it now.. It just seems like it would be perfect. Like I should do it, it's a good idea. Maybe the best idea I've ever had. Because with all the crap my life gives everyone else, I also wouldn't have to walk through another day of just... living. It's a punishment. And besides, someone else could be breathing the air that I breathe, and they could be enjoying the things that I have instead of me. Someone else who deserves it more.

After all, with how I feel, whenever someone compliments me, it's so wrong. I feel like I've lied to them when someone thinks I'm a good person, or if they think I look good or do good things or have talent. It just feels really wrong. Desperately wrong. Those compliments belong with someone who actually deserves them.

At the same time, I want someone to see without me having to practically shout it at their faces. I really want someone to understand and help me, but I don't want to tell anyone anymore. I've tried asking for help, and I've tried telling those around me about these things, but it's so difficult trying to tell someone when they can't understand. I don't want to say "nobody understands me" because that's what everyone says.. but it's pretty much true. It's frustrating to no end when I feel like I'm screaming it at the top of my lungs to someone who is right in front of me, but they're like "what? I don't get it." and their guessing at it is always wrong. I can't get people to listen, and I'd have to pay someone to help me. How is that fair? Can't someone just notice and stay with me?

Then again, I really don't deserve it. Everything bad that happens to me, I know is my fault. That's why I never fight against it, and just let things happen. If my boyfriend wants to leave me for someone else, it even makes sense to me, and I wouldn't protest. I know it's just a matter of time. But I really do deserve it. The way I am, the bad things that I bring and the mess that is my brain, I understand that I can't resist it. It's just how it is. I bring it upon myself, no matter what I do.

Anyway, I'm very sorry to anyone reading this, if I bring them down with it. If there is anyone that does feel down after this, please tell me and I'll replace this post with an apology. ^^;

Sincerely, me.

dear diary, sometimes you throw one hell of a curve ball, thankyou for making things ok again

Dear Women across the world,

CAMIS ARE NOT BRAS!!!
I don't care how much padding you think that thing has, I don't care if you are fit, fat, preggo, anorexic, a scene kid, or if its a wife beater.
CAMIS ARE NOT BRAS. WEAR A BRA.
No one wants to see the pointy cherries under your shirt.

Sincerely Pog.

I am scared, I had successfully gotten him out of every aspect of my life for 2 years. And now I find out that he is my replacement for work. I all most had a panic attack right there in the office, just his name on the paper, Tyler Rhodes. I had hoped that the feeling when I went into work this morning was wrong, but it wasn't. It was your bike yesterday that was there when I pulled up for Doggie Daycare on to be told I wasn't needed.
How am I going to tell Alpha that for the next 3 weeks I am going to be working with the guy that cheated on me with 5 different girls? That started dating some one that i consider my little sister, only to still call me when he was drunk? That showed up at my school 5 hours away last year and scared me so badly that I left school until i had to go to class on Monday?
How am I going to keep it from my Mom? She hates him, hates how he manipulated me. How he showed up at my house at 2 am and threatened the safety of my cat to get me outside then tried to run me over with a 4 wheeler. How even after that I went back to him to feel wanted. How I dated him and another guy at the same time to make him feel how I had felt the 5 times previous.
He scares me still. He scares me because I know that he knows how to push every single one of my buttons. He is big enough to pin me down and no one at work would bother to check out side for over an hour. Having to work with him scares me, but having to be alone with him is even worse.

I am scared, and the only thing to do with my fear is to face it head on. But I don't want to.

Tiva

Dear diary,

I was going to write something about what happened but I cant do it... I cant explain these things in words. I will just curl up in a ball and cry myself to sleep.

Love asami.

Dear Diary,

I hope for a pleasant 4th of July this year with my boyfriend's family, even though he'll be at work.

Thank you.

Dear ____,
How are you today? Me...im not so good. I have so many worries and stress that im shocked im not bald. To be honest, I know the reason we are how we are but I dont want to think about that. To start it was lust...but to continue its love. Arguments and fights dont tarnish the color that is your love. Some say I should leave...others tell me to stop and think. Do you wanna know what I think? I think our love can withstand the strongest of trials...but the wall is cracked. Your selfish needs and wants is breaking that wall slowly. Hair line cracks starting to show a weakened heart hidden away from the pains of the world. Save us now and show me once and for all the love we share....or soon this wall is going to break and once again I would have to pick up all the pieces and glue them back together. Be my night in shining armor and protect me like you said you would. The promise was broken once but second chances are worth the world.

With all my love...Me.

Dear Diary,

Well.. it didn't work out with his family, but we got something else worked out for when he's gets off work. From here it's smooth sailing :) Thanks for listening ~

Sincerely, me.

P.S. -- I mentioned 'work' a lot and just noticed. ..Maybe that means something is coming up? I hope!

I must be the most fucking ~~boring~~ depressing person to be around
Be less depressing
From,
yourself

Dear Diary,

I deserve an apology.

Dear Mom.
Should I try any more? It seems you are running out of excuses and simply greet me with silence. Its annoying.

love your daughter.

dear sweet friend
i love you.
i'm sorry she chose to act that way to you. i'm so so sorry that she ruined it. i'm sorry that all you wanted was closure, and all she wanted was to be even more of a bad person than she's already been to you. i'm sorry she made you break down. i'm sorry she's caused this for you. i'm sorry she brought up every little thing that made you into what you are today. a sad person.
but i'm not sorry it's over. now i'm hopeful. i'm hoping you'll find things to distract yourself, like you always do. i'm hoping you'll figure out a way to get over it and surpass it. i'm hoping that one day i'm going to see you smile again, unguarded, without hesitation, without wondering what you're going to have to go through later to pay for that. i'm hoping that one day you're going to stand up, say 'eff that' and get on with it. i know you will. but i hope it's soon.
and i'm sorry i can't always be there for you. i'm sorry you're so locked in your own head sometimes that you can't see me right in front of you screaming to get out, get out of your own prison and go on with the world.
but i know i'm going to try. and you're going to be good and happy again. i know it.

dear diary...

i seriously need to smoke now.

Dear Diary,

Why do people hate me so much. I'd really appreciate an answer soon.

Thanks,
Self.

Work,
You seriously fire me because I can't stay at work an extra hour because I had another commitment? That is so stupid... but the fact that you won't let me come back to pick up my last check and drop off my work keys... is ridiculous.

Dear --,
Do you think I'm stupid? I mean, you must, you lie to my face and then wonder if I spot it when I catch you in said lie. I'm not sure what game you think you're 'winning' but you're not, and you're just dropping lower and lower in my opinion. Which, frankly, at this point is sort of miraculous cause I figured we hit rock bottom a while ago. So, yeah, thanks for once again assuming my IQ rivals that of pond sludge.

Moi

Dear S_____,
Why have I ever done wrong to you personall? Why do you hate me so much, and make me feel like I am nothing and not worth love and understanding. You are nothing but a spoilt brat, and are old enough to treat people with respect, but you don't. The only people you respect are people who are skinny like yourself, and put down those who are overweight like myself. Tell you what, it ain't fair nor should you get away with it. I will make sure you hurt like your hurt me, believe not, I do not care about you anymore. You're a ..... and I can't stand to be around you.

Sincerly M.

Dear Diary.

Should I just call it quits? It doesn't seem to be getting any easier. No matter what I do to try to make it work, it doesn't help.

Miranda.

Dear people of today;

I would like to ask a simple question.

Does the word "bye" not exist in today's vocabulary anymore? Do those three little letters carry a taboo that I don't know about? Will your head explode if you say it? Because as far as I know, that's pretty impossible. So tell me.. is it a lost form of common courtesy? Because that's more believable considering that we're all pretty much digressing back to neanderthal behavior anyway, I just wish someone had notified me.

So because of the.. extinction of the word "bye", I would like to know when exactly is it that conversations end so that I could be in on it when you just drop off the planet while I am talking. So as to not be possibly saying something important while you decide to wander off and do some other piddly little thing you want to do. Like, oh I dunno.. take a nap in the middle of the day. Play a game. Look at facebook. Laughing like a derp at things you see on Tumblr.. Whatever it is, I would be so appreciative if someone would tell me when it is that we know a conversation has been closed, because the world knows you can't be bothered to take five seconds of your time to type three iiiiitsy bitsy little letters in order to let me know.

Some of you, I have your phone numbers. And if this happens to be a fad nowadays, I feel it necessary that I may call you, have a conversation, and then hang up whenever I feel bored or annoyed. Because lol, I'm sorry, you must have thought you were the sun that gives light to the earth and everyone hangs on every word you say, right? Cute.

Here's another pet peeve of mine. A big one. One that turns me into a raging ball of flaming sarcasm that can really be taken as just plain assery if you're easily offended and/or don't know me very well.

When I say something... do you need to respond with "really"? For example..

"I saw a bird."
"Really?"
"Yeah."

... Now, if it had been me:

"I saw a bird."
"Really?"
"NNnnaaaaaw, it was a flying car with a beak driven by a zombie smoking a pipe."

What is the point with those "really"s? Can you not contribute to the conversation like... here would be an appropriate response:

"I saw a bird."
"What kind was it?"
"It was a cardinal."
"Oh, I like cardinals. They're red."

And then the conversation would continue on about how freaking derpy cardinals are when they fly repeatedly into the windows of your house at full speed. See? Interesting conversation. Instead of a reenactment of some King of the Hill show where we're all just standing there going "Oh this happened today." "Really?" "Yep." "Yup." "Mhm." <<< DOES THAT SOUND LIKE A LEGITIMATE CONVERSATION? NO. STOP RUINING IT WITH YOUR IDIOT 'REALLY'S, DAMMIT. D<

"Really" should be used like "very". D< IN FRONT OF AN ADJECTIVE. Like "that's really blue" or "this is really annoying" or "this is really fun". It should be banned to use it by itself in a question. It's a conversation murderer and only prolongs the torture of having to deal with people. AARRGGGHHH.

TL;DR = SAY BYE TO PEOPLE WHEN YOU LEAVE, AND STOP USING THE WORD "REALLY" IN USELESS WAYS!

Sincerely, me. e___e

dear bitch

what the fuck? how can you say you want love and respect when you lie and steal and act like a nasty little child when someone calls you out on your bullshit? i feel bad for your watchers, i feel bad for your poor kid and i feel bad for anyone who believes you. but mostly i want to grab you by the roots of your hair and frog-walk you to the nearest dictionary so you can read for yourself the definition of 'stealing'

one of the five people you blatantly stole from

Dear myself...

Stop thinking about the cuts... STOP IT! I don't want to fall back into that...

Dear Person.

Stop treating me like crap and humiliating me. It just makes yourself look bad. Sorry but I don't recall anything I've done to you to deserve that kind of treatment. So stop it.

Thanks.
Ginger.

Dear self,

You are fine, everything is fine stop freaking out and relax its your birthday have fun and keep calm. You have been so good dont break down now.

From, Me

Dear diary.

Why do kids these days have shit handed to them? What happened to hard work pays off? I'm not talking about good grades or helping around the house when they feel it's convenient for them. Hard work is doing both of those things AND having a job, and have them put some away to move out or go to college, or something pertaining to bettering their future for themselves. Here's an idea parents: STOP DOING EVERYTHING FOR YOUR CHILDREN. Let them grow up knowing nice things don't come easy, and they'll work twice as hard and be three times as grateful for everything you hand them; Not just a one-month high of having a brand new car given to them. Some of us actually have decent enough parents who are poor enough to offer a 'congratulations now get a job' for graduating high school. Having shit given to you does not make you successful.

Sincerely,
Miranda.