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Dear diary,
Am I even worth it anymore? Love asami. |
Dear self,
Holy fuck, stop procrastinating. -Espy. |
Friend,
I am sorry that you came up on a weekend that i worked 2 - 11ish friday saturday and sunday nights. I really did want to see you but I had work. After work I come home and pass out til 10 in the morning and then have to get ready for work again. I barely got to see Chris at all this weekend... and he is higher up on the list than you. I offered for you to stop by work and I would pay for your meal and try to chat but you dont want to. It isn't my fault that i work like this, and saying that i don't want to see you... is just rude. Tiva |
Dear life...
You maybe hard at times but other times you make me realize how glad I am I failed in suicide years ago. Is there really a reason why I failed and am still here? Or is it just so I am forced to live what I do not? Either way thank you life for showing me that even in times when I feel like nothing else could happen to make you worse you give me something that makes me happy to be alive. From a confused female. |
Calc prof:
Why do you not put up the option to see the solutions to the problems that we don't answer correctly...? -A very disgruntled Espy |
Dear Fates,
I'm tired. I'm known by the few people I've ever let get close enough to me to be the one who never gets tired, never shows it when he's frustrated, I keep it to myself. But I am tired, so tired. I can feel the cracks in my mind growing, and I feel like I'm the only person who cares anymore about my sanity. I can't understand why I seem to be the most undesirable person in the world to hire, I can't understand why people seem to be looking down on me ever since I got back from Oklahoma, and I don't know what I want anymore. I'm just tired. My shoulders are crunching, my mind is cracking, and my knees are creaking under this weight. But I don't mind my station, I don't care about the weight. I have chosen this, and I love it. But is it so much to ask that maybe something comes along to oil the joints once in a while? My shoulders were meant for carrying, my back is strong, my mind is a precise weapon and a sturdy barrier, but even the strongest shield can be cracked by enough swings of the hammer. So life, I want a break, just one. Anything. Work, direction, self purpose, anything to make me feel like I'm not stuck going in circles. A body at rest tends to stay at rest, so I stay a body in motion, but I'm not going anywhere. I have no purpose, I'm just here, helping people sometimes, and going back to being just that guy. The nightmares started again. I don't think they'll ever go away. I feel him ripping at my sanity again, and we can't stand against him much longer without a face-off. Maybe he'll bring a physical messenger to face me again. wolf contacted me again, and it scared me, because it was right after a nightmare of him being sent after me. Am I to die as I am? I can accept that. But don't make it all for naught, please...I've begged the Gods, now I beg the fates: Grant me purpose. My quest may be immortality, but I will follow the path laid in front of me. I will not stop, I will never relent, but I can be crushed underfoot if you keep sending giants to stomp me out. Your loyal servant, Michael |
Dear Diary
It's so nice to know that getting your way means more to you than having a relationship with me, your son. And I'll lock my door when i damn well feel like it. B |
Dear Diary,
I have plans in place. It won't be for another 2 years or so but after that I will have no rent or mortgage to pay which will make saving money a lot easier. I'll still have bills until I can afford the building of my house, solar panels, and wind power. It's going to be a heck of a lot of work, but for the sake of reducing the cost of bills and living free from debt I feel like it's something I have to do for myself. Please allow me to get a job, no matter what the pay is, so I can save everything I can to get out of here. Screw the car and driver's license until after I have land to park a motorhome or mobile on until I have what I need to build my small house. If no one has faith in me that's fine because I know I can do it and I will. Miranda. |
Dear ... I sit by and watch things deteriorate and just get worse and worse. I sit by and shake my head because my words hold no power. I sit by and watch it burn. I have tried to help you fix the problem. I tried to speak up but when I did no one appreciated it. I was taken advantage of then cast aside and it hurt. I walked away and pretended I didn't care. The truth is I do care, I will never stop caring but it feels like you hit mute on me. Any suggestion and item brought to attention, I am ignored. Soon you will see that everything is going to fall and crumble. The support beams are gone and the ones that mattered have been tossed aside. It will catch up to you and you'll realize you were wrong. I can't tell you any of this because you wouldn't see it. You would try to be positive about it which is to be respected but in a situation where all the good is escaping you have left yourself a pile of rubble. All the rationale is gone. I'm sorry I couldn't help you. I tried. Serah |
Dear Calc Professor,
Please, please, please think about how much work you're assigning, dammit. Sincerely, I've never used coffee as a means to stay awake before this. |
Dear work
Please go over smoothly. I'm still terrified of all the responsibilities dumped on me. Please don't stomp on me to death :c |
dear doctor who i entrust with my life
the hell? you knew i was getting sick again! you mentioned antibiotics, you brought in two other doctors /they/ mentioned antibiotics and yet all you fuckwits said i was fine and now i am coughing up dark clots of infection again and it is a month until my next appointment, motherfuck i don't need pneumonia /again/ took two flippn' years to get over last time and i nearly died from that twice, how hard is it to say 'hey, you might be sick again but we are not sure'?! seriously i am sick of not being ably to eat or sleep and having to piss every twenty minutes and still wetting myself twice a week because my abdominal muscles gave out foreverago because i tend towards racking coughs that pull out more than just clots. /hell/ signed, already knows the drill |
Dear Nan Desu Kan, I had a good time I think, I saw people and other things. Which was awesome, but did not like I could go see any artist I wanted cause I needed a badage to get into AA, so all I can say is get you head out of butts and let people enjoy the con and not make it suck for long time goers like me. Thanks kay? Sign, Somewhat still in away willing to go Nikko. I am the manry-est of men! |
Diary,
My mom and I don't have the funds for moving :( She is beyond stressed and so am I. Today I really need to start putting boxes into the living room to make room for more packing. The last thing I want right now is to wind up in another homeless shelter. She's 40+ years old and should be able to take care of herself. But nope, I'm still here. My plan is going to work out. The least she could do is support it and not try to stomp me down because she was unsuccessful at my age. PLEASE no homeless shelters. Miranda. |
Dear work,
I understand that the job is important I need it to be done. I work to the best of my ability to get it done too. However, giving me a bunch of stuff to do AFTER everything else and wanting me to do it... Well, I don't get paid enough to work as if I'm salary. I'm not, I'm hourly, so if I go over one day I will go under another, unless you approve that overtime. -Serra |
Dear life,
Once again you disappoint me. Something so simple as having a good birthday is to hard for you to handle. Why am I doomed to feel left out and alone even while in a room full of people? Am I meant to be singled out and made fun of even when I am not present? Knowing I do not matter to those who I should hurts me more then anything in this world could. I would rather take a hot knife to the chest then feel the pain I had today. I can only hope for the future for today is not the past. All I hope for is a brighter horizon then the storm filled sky I see now. Signed a girl in pain. |
Diary,
I'm so stressed right now I feel like crying. Now where do I go. I don't have shit. Miranda. |
Dear self.
Why are you such a selfish piece of shit? You had to go and destroy your own boyfriend's dreams. You don't deserve anything. Lazy, selfish, abusive black hole of shit. Tell him that when you see him next. The end of this for him could give him such a brighter future. Well, I told him, and he didn't answer, so I guess that means we're no longer together. This'll be good for him. Sincerely, self. |
Dear Life,
Fuck you. So much. I hate myself already as it is. Why can't you just let things go nicely..even just for a little bit without reminding me how much of a failure I am. Fuck everything. I give up. I'm just going to go curl up under my blankets and just never give a shit anymore. Why do I even fucking care? Why do I even try? Nothing I do seems to go right anyways. How the hell do I have friends with my shitty personality? I..I..just don't know anymore. |
Dear Diary
I saw a picture today against animal abuse. I know that those who abuse animals don't stop at animals, but, to know that those people do not see a cat or a dog as a life. . . It's hard to wrap my brain around and to know that some claim they don't have feelings or experience pain, just to justify their abuse is madness. Humans just seem to have all these excuses why it is ok to hurt another living thing. To hurt a loyal dog or a cat who only wanted to purr to it's owner. Those who blame the dog for not magically being trained by itself. . . .If we just regarded an animal as a living being, with feelings, we might have less dead pets that my group finds or wandering around the highway from being abandoned. If it is against a human, that is jail time, but an animal, noone seems to care. . . . . . (sorry, this was long and it always depresses me) |
Diary,
I got all makeupped and haired before going to sleep (right after this post) so I can be ready when Coltin gets here! Stayed up through the night packing and I am almost done! Nighty night :) Miranda |
dear murphy,
get fucked in the ear. i knew you would pull this shit and congrats tyou did as you usually do. but i guess it is my fault for believing people can be good and honest and decent, maybe it is my fault then. you are just an unofficial law afterall |
Dear Stupid ass bitch cousin,
Can you like, get off of facebook and start reading books and THEN get back when you have better spelling and grammar? Oh and also, start familiarizing MS Office and do a better job in college and stop being a social climber when you know that you literally fucking live in the SLUMS. -sincerely yours, A cousin that grew up 10 years ahead of your mom in maturity. |
Dear everything that is anything,
I am sick and tired of treating people good and loving when all I get in return is shat on. I am sick of thinking that there is a friend there one moment then turning around and having them gone. Am I really that horrible of a person that this happens more often then not? Am I doomed to constantly meet nothing but shitty people? It seems to me that I am...even the ones that I give a second chance hoping that they changed are nothing more then a spoiled child. So fuck you world, people, fake friends....all of it. I am so done. Signed.... A girl who thought people could change. |
Dear drummer,
You are an amazing person. You really are. To begin with you brought yourself and your snare drum to a high school football game that was who knows how far away. It was freezing. There were about twenty other people there, and your team got beat really badly. You didn't just go and watch though, you brought your drum. I could hear you from across the field, you were louder than the home team's cheerleaders. You kept drumming the whole time. You are dedicated and awesome and I wish I could have told you that in person. I don't even know who you are, or your gender or anything, but you deserve an award. An admirer on the other team |
dear friend
i am afraid of you. terrified of you. |
Dear place,
stop sucking sincerely, person |
Dear life... Really? Like, wow....really? Go suck a bag of dicks!!!!! Signed a pissed off women with a grudge. |
Dear ... I try so hard to be there for you. I swallow all my emotions, smile and listen to you. I pretend it is alright when I shouldn't. I pretend it doesn't bother me but it does. You never appreciate what I do and continue to take advantage of me. I have thought about it, I have thought about what would happen. No matter what I do though, it will never be enough for you or anyone. You say you love me and I hate to ask but do you? My life may not be as hard as others but I still have my hardships. I walked away to protect you from me. You had me caring about you but you do this every time. I think about it, would you notice, would you cry? It's killing me on the inside. Please stop, just stop. It's obvious what we both want but you just toy with me. I know I may not be worth while but please don't abandon me again. Please. I wanted to protect you because you loved me. If I kept hurt you, I might have done something drastic. Please understand. Please. Serah |
Dear Diary
Keep telling myself it's normal. teenagers really do sleep that much. Or so the websites say. B |
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Dear life, ......you win and I surrender..... Signed, Some girl whos faded to nothing. |
Dear Diary,
I will get myself checked medically this november. I hope it's not something that would scare my mom, or have her worst fears come true. |
Dear everyone,
I love you. Sincerely, world's most patient man |
Dear You told me that you care but you never ask how I am. You don't talk to me, you don't even try. I try talking to you because you're my friend and I care about you. I worry about you, I care about you. I never want to bother you but you never offer to speak to me. I make myself available I'm always here and willing to listen. I have been patient with you. I have tried and I am sorry. I apologize when I became upset with you. I know it must of hurt and I'm sorry. But even before all these events, you wouldn't speak to me. You kept telling me you wondered about me and worried over me but you never expressed this, you only spoke of it. Others have done this to me as well. It gives me a feeling of worthlessness every single time. I feel that I'm not worth your time or your effort when this happens. You never used to be this way, or maybe you always were and I just never knew. I love you and feel better. Maybe someday I'll be worth your time. Serah |
Dear everyone,
sincerely, someone |
Dear diary,
What is wrong with me? -asami |
Dear, -- You make me rage face so hard I wanna just punch your teeth down your trought and just leave you on the side of street to be eaten by wild wolves. Sign Raging, Nikko. I am the manry-est of men! |
Dear life,
Please please please...I really need a job. Applying will only get me so far and I have done this over and over. I really need a job I am tired of the stress that comes from having no money. I need this job...let one of the fifty jobs call me back please!!! Life...dont let me down this time. Pinkie |
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