I had to google that and it said something about natural phenomena. x'D

I said I was happy to have this meal with my parents and my brother's family, but I lied to them. I'm sorry, I don't feel good about speaking with my brother, although I'd love to see my little niece.

I'm tired of beeing a target for him, never good enough, I can't take it and smile as if I don't care. Still, I know I'll force myself to be nice and I'll just feel like sh*t as soon as they'll be gone. I hope sunday will be over fast.

I love you but you're taking up too much brain space. Get out. Now.

I was asked earlier if I was feeling well today after looking pale, I lied to the person. I was feeling light headed, my joints hurt, my stomach hurt, my back hurt, my kidneys felt like they where being jabbed, my lungs felt like they where being squeezed and my heart felt like it was ready to explode.

I lied, because I didn't want the person to worry to much and know even now if they knew how I was really feeling it would hurt them and worry them.

My brother is so dense, yet he realizes I'm spending too much time thinking about you. Do you realize how serious that is? And the worst part, you're completely oblivious to how I feel. Acting like a little kid, what are you thinking? I can't do this anymore. I'm almost reaching breaking point right now. There's only little more of this that I can tolerate. After that Ill snap. Will you realize then?

It's taken me years to step out of the Roleplayers' thread because I have a fear of posting in main areas on forum sites, mostly because I feel like the lack of tone in text makes what I say come off as offensive or hostile.

I know I'm not, that is, we're not ready for kids, but I'm secretly a little disappointed that I'm not pregnant after all.

It's been five years since you told me you loved me. Since then you've done nothing but lie, cheat, steal, and abandon me over and over again. Even after all of that I'm willing to give you another chance and that kills me inside. So you don't know yet but I'm looking at other states to move to, I can't handle the pain you bring me much longer.

I wish I could come out to you, but....that seems like an utterly horrible idea, and you'll likely just dismiss it as a phase or something anyways.

worried sick that m Diagnoses of a Vitamin D defecinty is related to a bowl disorder. It sounds horrible but I don't want to be as ill as my brother, I feel sorry for him as there's so little we can do to help and just watch him suffer on a bad day.Since I have simular pains when I go for a number two I'm now scared it's the same fate for my self. I can't even begin to think what if anything a child of mine would end up with medical wise when t omes to problems as so many run in m family.

I don't want to do this job anymore. I hate how my creativity and desire to make things has nosedived since starting, and I hate how stressful it is, but I'm trapped until I can land a different job.

My mom is getting really annoying today in regards to me. My brother is selling his old desk top to my dad and building himself a new one, and my dad is going to give me this one to use. Well my mom is b**ching about how my dad said he wouldn't buy us anymore computers but yet my dad is giving me a computer he'll have no more use for. My mom has said numerous times that she's not going to stick her nose in deals and stuff we make with our dad, yet here she is f**king b**ching about it and trying to make me feel bad when all she's doing is p***ing me off because I wasn't even the one making this deal with my dad! It was my brother making the deal with him, so her b**ching about it to me is null and void and just plain stupid. She's trying to make it seem like I'm making out like a bandit because of it when the entire time I've had a computer shoved in my room on MY desk regardless of whether I wanted it in my room or not, and restricted so that I basically can't do a d**n thing with it! But she just thinks my dad is spoiling me when my dad sees it as a why of recycling the d**n thing instead of just getting rid of it. And then as soon as my dad gets home she's all 'Well I have nothing to do with this so I'm not going to say anything'. BULL SH**!!!!! Not to mention she thinks its all fine and dandy when she can spend thousands of dollars on her kids and grandkids because my dad is nice like that, but throws a f**king sh** fit any time we get a hand me down item from our dad or he buys something less than thirty f**king dollars for us. Hypocrite much? My friend calling her a couch whale is very fitting, that's all she does all day is sit on the d**n couch watching tv, yet thinks she has the right to tell people how to use or spend their money when she can't even do f**king addition! >.<

Oh and one time she threw a f**king fit when my dad gave me his old iPod for my birthday. FOR MY F**KING BIRTHDAY! How much more f**king selfish can a person get? My dad had already bought himself a new one, my mom doesn't even use her d**n MP3 player and my dad knows I'll at least use it, so he gave it to me for my birthday since I asked for a MP3 player that was bigger then my 200 something megabyte one.

Okay, rant over. >>; I tried to sensor everything as best I could. Yes, this is built up stress. =.=;

i am very jealous often times and i constantly worry that i will end up alone and lonely because i am never good enough nor am i a very likeable person. im afraid that all my friends simply tolerate me and that if i dont make an extra effort to be with them they will abandon me. i fear that my family is just burdened to put up with me and even if they say they care about me its just because they have to. i am not the way people see me and im scared that if theyd learn who and how i really am they will toss me aside. i can joke about things that bother me or that are very important to me and i do because im afraid to be resigned for them. sometimes i think about who i am as a person and wonder if i really am me or maybe i just imagine all my problems in order to make me feel special in some way.
ugh.