Maybe I can help?

Okay I'm trying on a phone so it may have typos xD here's what I has so far

Once upon a time
There was a little girl
Her life was a mess
She lived in a whirl
Everyone used her
For their own little needs
Nobody listened
To her cries and her pleads
Her parents ignored her cries for attention
Inside was a storm
Of hurt hate and tension
She tried her hardest
To get through the days
But they soon became blurry
She lived in a haze
Her life spiraled downward
Into the abyss
The hate and self loathing
She just couldn't dismiss
She tried her hardest
To get through each day



That's all I has done right now

Hmm, the rhythm is nice. I like where its going. The question really is does she overcome or does she falter next? She's either going downward or upward, which way does she go?

Try the word 'dismay'.

Downward definitely. It's based on my life.:/

hhow about the next part goes

the harder she tried
the more they would say
how worthless she was
she was such a burden.

Burden is a toughy. Certain... curtain... blurting...

Maybe certain...idk ill look something up.

Toying around with this one a bit. Its far from done but getting there

Liquid forming
The stains are there
Slowly etching new memories into her skin.

Burning up
its just too much
its hard to not give in

Sardonic smile
Toying at her lips
What she would give to start over

Crying out
Echoing off the empty room
Her end was closer

o.o poetry i need to read these

O.o did you read them?

Ive written a few new poems please give me feed back ^^

Turning her back
On all of her friends.
finding herself
At a million dead ends.
wrong choices
Building up all around.
beating herself
Into the ground.
Remembering all the
moments of her life
Shes just another girl
without a sharper knife.

-------

Why is it do you talk to me?
What is it do you see?
Why do you listen to my every single plea?

Why is it that you stick around?
Stick with me through smiles and frowns?
And through all the ups and downs?

Though lately I have felt alone
Like my happiness was just a clone
of the real me you have not known.

I wonder what you would think
of shiny scars shining pink
And all the tears on the brink

So I must ask once more
If anything I do you abhor
And if helping me is a chore?

I wouldn't mind if you'd go away
leaving me alone like a stray
Your happiness, I would not sway.

-------------

Beauty like a fallen leaf
Beauty stronger in its grief
falling faster towards the ground
Never making a single sound.
Waiting for the wind once more
To pick its dead weight off the floor
surviving even though its dead
Surviving because that's what it dreads.
Beauty here and beauty there
Its beauty is what makes it rare
a single leaf falling slow
Beauty no other has to show.

Hey you

I <3 you

Pshh that's not telling me about my poetry!

*read them all* I want more they power my muse ewe... *holds the poems like smeagol* The precious must have the prescious ewe... I absolutely loved all of these I cant even pick my fav... there all so amazing and touch the heart Your talented hun :-). I would post my poems but no one has even looked at my songs yet XD

Owo thank you<3
Wow that means a lot ^^

haha no problem ^-^ i think i might get my post deleted though no ones looking at it so no real point in havin it up :P