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-   -   Defend [m] (http://www.trisphee.com/forums/showthread.php?t=7614)

Pocket 02-26-2012 12:26 PM

I still love you!!!!

Quiet Man Cometh 02-27-2012 05:01 AM

Just to express another opinion here, I think one needs to be thoughtfull about what might be involved in a situation. You asked if it was right of you to expect your husband to defend you in situations like that. On the whole I'd say yes, but sometimes counterpoints can be made. In this instance though, because the comment doesn't appear have been made to your husband or in your husband's presense, I'd say no, you shouldn't expect your husband to defend you.

Involving significant others in an argument or conflict that doesn't really inovle them directly can be a recipe for disaster (I've seen this personally as I have a sibling and a step-sibling that don't always get along well). Someone may think that a person is ganging up on them by involving others, it can put mutual friends in an uncomfortable position of possibly having to chose sides.

From the sounds of things, this friend is being immature and it's not worth getting too upset over. If the man is/was a friend for your husbands, then askign him to confront him might cause more trouble than it's worth. If he has a problem with hanging out for whatever reason, then it's his problem and he can decide if he wants to show or not.

Lauv Keiko 02-29-2012 04:09 AM

http://i159.photobucket.com/albums/t...iXELS/cute.gifhttp://i159.photobucket.com/albums/t...iXELS/cute.gifhttp://i159.photobucket.com/albums/t...iXELS/cute.gif
http://i756.photobucket.com/albums/x...se/fmkit07.gif

Well, in all honesty...I find you rather attractive. I see nothing wrong with that haircut, in fact it looks good. The piercings are just added accessories that other people shouldn't mind about.
Anyways, I do think your husband is in the wrong here. He could've at least told that "friend" to not use those mean words to you. He didn't defend you in any way, so it only shows he agrees with that friend.
It was natural for you to be mad at him, considering you are married...what then were the vows you exchanged for?

MuseSick 02-29-2012 09:22 PM

@ Lauv- It doesn't mean that he agrees, that's just a possibility. It's not really fair for anyone to say that's what he thinks, he may just not want to stir up trouble, or he may agree. I don't think telling her that it's a sure thing that he agrees is right D: <3

Delicious Nightmare 03-01-2012 05:44 PM

@ Lauv:
Thank you. As for my husband. Yeah its kinda messed up but I know he does not feel or think the same things as his friend. This whole thing was messy and all over my looks. Some ones looks should not get between you or your friends.
I'm 23 soon to be 24 I should know how to defend my self. And if I cant then its wrong to expect some one else to do it for me. I confronted the friend and after some time back and forth being mean it stopped and he said sorry it was a mean childish joke.

@Quiet Man Cometh: You are right. Thank you.
The comment was not made to my husband or even to me. It was one friend to another. And the other friend got mad and told me about what he said. Asking my husband to defend me is not wrong but it would of most likely cause more issues.

@Pocket: I love you to sexy!

@ muse: Thanks for being around and talking to me. It helped.

Belial 03-01-2012 05:52 PM

Why would you and he even want to be around a person who would say that?
You aren't breaking any laws and I am sure your bills get paid so why judge?

And I think your husband should have called him on his rudeness. Calling someone an emo is a teenage kind of insult, is he still in high school?

Delicious Nightmare 03-02-2012 05:03 AM

belial, no he is not in high school. I think he is the same age as me.

Kiddiss 03-02-2012 05:40 AM

Nightmare, I don't think you look "emo" at all. I think that haircut is very flattering.

I'm glad the friend finally admitted that he was being childish and the two of you worked it out without involving your husband.

My husband-creature picks on me all the time- but the moment anyone else says anything mean about me, he is on them like a mongoose on a cobra. He almost got his boss fired at the place he worked when we first got married. I forget exactly what was said, but it was something really mean about my being disabled. We technically could have sued the company for what he said thanks to the Americans With Disabilities Act.

You might want to pose to your husband a hypothetical situation of someone saying something offensive to or about you in his presence. Ask him how he would react. If you don't like his answer, explain your concerns to him. Maybe he doesn't feel like you need anyone sticking up for you. He may be completely in the dark. Just a suggestion :3

Delicious Nightmare 03-02-2012 02:47 PM

Kiddis that is a great idea and thank you. I know, for a fact. That even if some one said some thing to him that was mean about me. He ignores it like it was never said. He says its stupid and why cause problems for their stupidnes. It really hurts my feelings. LIke his grandmother said i was messing up my kids life's because I have depression. And she even told him to leave me. He let a friend sit there and always tell me to take my shirt off with nothing but a giggle. I don't know how to explain how it makes me feel and how i wish he would stick up for me. Being his family and his friends i feel its his job and i would cause more issues if i said any thing to the friends or family.


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