"Nothing...special..." Matt tilted his head- his jaw slightly ajar in shock.

"Uh... we're coworkers, if that?" Nate asked, before he glanced at their shocked faces and groaned. "Ugh, look! I'm not Near! I can prove it!"

Nancy looked in surprise as the boy moved over to the scale in the corner and pushed up the measuring tape, before setting it on top of his head. He reached around and locked the metal into place and stepped away, before pointing at it.

"Look!" He snapped. "I'm 5'3"! Near is only 5 feet tall!"

"You're wearing shoes." Matt pointed down at Nate's feet.

Nate frowned and looked down. "Why am I wearing shoes? Near doesn't wear shoes... was I going outside or something? Him, I mean. Him! Ugh!"

Bending down, he tugged off the laces and kicked them off, before re-measuring himself. "5'2" and a half. Happy!?"

"Near, calm down." Matt came over and gripped Nate's arm- not roughly, but very gently...very careful- like he was made of Porcelain or something.

"Don't call me Near!" Nate snapped, smacking his hands away. "And don't tell me to calm down, gosh darn it! You're not listening to me! T'm not Near!"

"Ne... Nate," Nancy breathed, slowly. "We are trying to listen... but we are confused. If you're not... who we think you are, then who are you and how did you wind up in our orphanage with his clothes on?"

"How should I know?" Nate snapped. "I was in a closet and next thing I know I'm stumbling into your damn place wearing this stupid outfit!"

"I found you in the closet having an attack." Roger offered. "But...how did you even end up in the closet in the first place?"

"I was looking for my inhaler," Nate mumbled. "My... friend had it and my spare was in my coat. I thought the coat was in the closet, so I was looking for it."

"What friend?" Matt asked immediately.

"Chester Bourdon," Nate informed, rolling his eyes. "He's a photographer. He does all the shoots for the show and he's full of complete shit."

"Photographer...show?" Matt looked at the two adults- who only shook their heads.

"I must have hit my head pretty damn hard if you-" Nate ignored the way all three of them winced. "-aren't caught up in your own fame."

He eyed the three of them for a moment before he snorted.

"Look... you lot know 'Near' pretty well, right?" He said, slowly. Why was he still indulging this idiocy, anyway? At their nods, he continued, "Does he have anything pierced? Anything at all?"

"No," Nancy informed, frowning. "Of course not. Near is only a child and a boy at that... why would he have his ears per-oh gosh!"

She gasped as Nate pulled up the baggy white t-shirt and revealed a dark blue gemstone hanging from his navel.

"...It was better than I thought it was going to be." Roger breathed out a sigh of profound relief.

"WOW!" Matt turned Nate and looked at the piercing. "When'd you get that!?"

"Some idiot," Nate informed. "Four years ago."

Nancy leaned in close, frowning. "This is healed over... there is no way he got this within the last few days."

The door to the infirmary came open, causing the group to jump. Nate blinked in surprise as a young girl stepped in.

She had dirty blonde hair, done up in pigtails, and was wearing a dark blue set of pajamas.

"What is everyone doing up?" She mumbled. "I was having cramps and came to get some pills or something... whose the kid?"

Nancy blinked in surprise, before looking at Nate. "...You don't recognize your own brother, Linda?"

"Uh... sorry to burst your bubble, but that's not my brother," Linda informed, lifting an eyebrow.

"No shit!?" Matt suddenly looked delightfully excited. "Cool...it's an alien!"

"An alien?" Roger frowned.

"It replicated Near...poorly!" Matt burst.

"I'm not an alien!" Nate snapped, shoving Matt. "And fuck... if I'm here, where is Near?!"

"You seem really excited that someone replaced Near," Linda practically growled, slipping over and towering over Matt by a good three inches, her eyes narrow.