I hate not being able to fully come out to people in my surroundings. I would love to tell them I'm gay. Especially when they invite me to come check on the opposite sex. I AM NOT INTERESTED! I want to tell them, but i'm scared.

I wish to die...

I will never confess about all the things that I could.

I went through a stage of "I hate the world, everyone else is preoccupied with petty issues and unneccessary drama and has no idea what it's like to have a genuine sucky life" but it's been some time since I've felt that way significantly. Not sure if I grew out of it or came to some new realizations or both but I'm largely over it now. Not quite though, but I do recognize it when the issues show up.

I may sound cute and fun and random on the internet but my real personality is the complete opposite of my online personality.
I am very sarcastic and blunt.

I acted like a complete coward today.

My attitudes vary between sarcastic and cynical, mellow and indifferent, or very casual. Usually not a loud person though, unless it's late at night and I'm tired. I'm one of those quiet types that can unintentionally sneak up on people or sit in the corner of the room without anyone noticing me until I hear the voices asking where I am.

i am in love with the past even as the present is sleeping down the hall

I have done horrible things, and slept with too many people to count.
I love people I shouldn't, and I don't love those I should, to the point where besides wanting someone sexually and caring for them a bit, I don't know if I can truly care for another human being.
V.V Not much could be done to help me, either.