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-   -   Breaking "Gender Rules" (http://www.trisphee.com/forums/showthread.php?t=7596)

Ishu 05-09-2012 05:28 AM

No, not at all. Everyone I know jokes that I'm a man in a woman's body. At least the people that know me very well, lol. I sit like I man, talk like a man, think like a man that thinks way, way too much. I don't like fart jokes or anything but i just GET men. Women confuse me but I still understand them. -shrug- I think society itself is a joke but that's just me.

Espy 05-09-2012 09:50 AM

Oh hey, Ishu, I described myself just the other day in a startling similar way.

...That rhymes. Ok then.

Ishu 05-09-2012 06:02 PM

Really? Was it "woman in a man's body"? OR "man in a woman's body"? I'm pretty sure you are male but xD you never know~

Espy 05-09-2012 08:22 PM

....Ok. That. Nearly made me laugh. Which would have been bad considering the fact that I'm -supposed- to be doing homework.

Man in a woman's body XD

Yes, and society and I don't get along too well.

Ultima 05-09-2012 08:28 PM

Hey, I'm inbetween genders. To most people, I don't even exist =/

Ishu 05-09-2012 08:43 PM

@Ultima: I know how you feel :/

@Espy: ^^; I thought you were a guy xD LOL. Seems like you're doing it right~

Espy 05-09-2012 09:13 PM

...Genders? What are these "genders" you speak of...

Ultima 05-09-2012 09:18 PM

I KNOW RIGHT? We should just get rid of 'em. Who needs 'em anyway? NO ONE THAT'S WHO. D<

Coda 05-09-2012 09:31 PM

Hey now, that's not fair to people who DO identify with one side or the other. ;) (Or both at different times!) What a tangled mess it all is.

Ultima 05-09-2012 09:32 PM

That is a perfect term for what "gender" has become. A tangled mess =/

Coda 05-09-2012 10:24 PM

Preaching to the choir there, sibling.

Ultima 05-09-2012 10:32 PM

Hehe, what an awkward alternative to bro/sis XD

Espy 05-09-2012 10:33 PM

...Was wondering what that was supposed to be XD

Coda 05-09-2012 11:13 PM

You like that? XD

Espy 05-10-2012 12:19 AM

Eh.....-shrugs- Only Funkie ever says that a lot around me, so...

Belial 05-17-2012 01:27 PM

I identify more as a man, despite how I was born. I'm not supposed to like fixing cars, getting my hands dirty, or doing tech work.

However at one point in time being a lawyer was considered a "man only" job, as were High heels in the renn age.

Espy 05-17-2012 08:29 PM

o.o I'd always thought Belial was a guy. -gives a thumbs up-

Been subconsciously referring to myself as "he"; makes me jolt awake (fully awake. surprisingly, huh) and actually wonder why I just thought of myself as "he".

My mom...doesn't get it XD

Coda 05-17-2012 11:54 PM

Heh, I thought Belial was a guy too. Doesn't help not complaining about "he" in posts. :P

Espy, I get where you're coming from.

Ae86 05-19-2012 01:08 AM

I think you should be able to do what ever hobbies you desire. In my opinion there is no hobbie just for girls and hobbies just got guys. You do what you want to do to make you happy.

Who's life is it? It's yours.

ettah 05-28-2012 11:21 PM

pffft...gender rules.
people should do or wear whatever they want.
when i see little girls into spiderman or super hero's or boys into barbies. i think thats the best/cutest. ♥

Kotomi 05-29-2012 12:07 AM

Hmm each person has their own opinion of the differences of what should be for the different genders
I'm just really glad some things have changed to a more genderless thing like pants however I know some people still want girls to only have skirts
I think it shouldn't be limited, hmm was told today by one of my grandmothers that she really liked a shirt on me because the sleeves, which are just shorter than guy shirts, she liked it because she thought it was more girly... -_-; sigh one of my least favorite shirts too

I slightly was grumpy with a child I was working with, well one day he didn't believe I liked anime nor that I would have any videogames and said I was lying about owning things like playstation wii and 3ds... which I later proved to him, well the 3ds since it's small and easy to carry (he and some of the other young boys told me girls don't play video games nor would know about games)

it's nice once you can get past the barrier of gender rolls, there are so many at times it is difficult, and because after I proved to know knowledge and to have game stuff, I was able to get the boys to actually listen to me

Cheshiresneer 05-29-2012 11:57 AM

Hey I whole-heartedly believe, to each his own ^^ I'm not a girly girl by any means, but I'm a girl nonetheless! Even though I may not sound like it half the time. But I'll tell people so they can say "she" and I don't want them to feel awkward!

I talk to people based on their personality, like or dislike them based on that as well. I could care less if someone is male or female ^^ I love my fiance, he's an amazing guy I'm not looking for someone else so I'm not concerned on gender! If you're awesome you're awesome :D Whether you are male and want to act like a unicorn on a daily basis or a female who wants to be a unicorn on a daily basis who cares. Because..welll... UNICORNS!! <3


I don't try to dig into someone to find out their gender, but I do like to use he/she when responding. Like Coda said, it's just shorter and I tend to ramble or make lengthy posts. :3 If someone wants to be referred to as they/them then I don't have a problem with using that either! I just don't default to that because I've had people bark at me over it on other websites. x.x

Usually I try to pay attention to what everyone else calls someone...of course that could land me in trouble too XD

IF for some reason I'm on a heavily roleplayed site with male/fem avatars, I will call someone he/she based on their avatar solely because: I assume that that is their roleplay character (usually is in my defense!) and that if they are in character, then they are 'x'.

:D

TheCourier 06-16-2012 12:53 AM

I can sort of relate.I like wearing men's clothing and deodorant.I like being referred to as "Sir",and I sometimes call myself insults that are normally reserved for men.Such as "prick" and whatnot.My family is fine with it.

Kira Bella 06-18-2012 12:09 AM

Honestly, I would not wear a bra if I could. I would rather be a guy, but I look too feme to pull off cross dressing well.

When I date females, I am always the male, and the relationships are happier and healthier then with males.

And I feel more... manly then most women. So... Do what makes you feel comfortable. We won't judge you here. :3

Sunako 06-18-2012 11:09 PM

The way I see is do what you feel most comfortable with, and try not to worry what others think as well.

Not all males need to be into fast cars and whatever else they like, so I believe that people should like what they want, not to please others but to please themselves.

TheCourier 06-19-2012 05:04 AM

For several years,I've wondered what it would be like to be able to walk around without a shirt (in a man's body,of course.Wouldn't wanna get arrested for indecent exposure).I find myself rather torn sometimes.One day I'll wake up feeling masculine or feminine.Other days I'll wake up and wonder how I feel.I'm in therapy,and my counselor says to just dress and/or accessorize according to what gender I feel like that day.Is there a term for feeling like one gender one day and a different on another? And/or not feeling like either one day? I've felt like I was supposed to be born a male for years,but never really knew what to do with it.

Bleh,sorry if this is too long.

Desmond 06-19-2012 02:34 PM

It's not too long at all! There is an entire world out there for people like us! I'm a Trans guy and that's how I felt for a very long time. It's not an easy road at all, but you are already in the right direction. Your therapist sounds wonderful, and is completely right. Just go with it. There isn't a need to box yourself now or ever if you don't want to! Most people aren't aware that gender is also on a continuum, a sliding scale just like sexuality is. So you are completely normal. =)

There are steps you can take if you wish to be male physically. It's a very long road and can be expensive depending on what you decide to do. I'm very much into each person is going to take a different path to get to their destination. I've had trans friends try to push me into taking hormones way to early, and then I've had my amazing rock of a friend telling me "Psh. don't listen, you get to do this your way."

So, don't worry. You're among good people here if you wish to talk about it. I'm also a walking, talking, resource on things gender variant! You can always talk to me if you need to. =)

TheCourier 06-19-2012 08:00 PM

Wow,thanks! It's good to know that I'm going in the right direction.My Mom said that she'd support me even if I became a male,but that it'd take some time to adjust to it.She's also scared about how other people might react to it,like wanting to do me harm.I am,too.I'm not sure how my brother and grandma will react,though.As far as becoming a male physically,I don't know about that just yet.I've been told that I look too feminine to be able to "pass".Anyway,I'll just have to wait and see.You're really nice and understanding.Everyone else here seems to be that way,too. :D Thanks a lot!

Desmond 06-19-2012 08:18 PM

You can still be feminine while being a guy, I promise you. I know way to many people who have pushed who they are away simply because it didn't fit into the box they were going to. The wonderful thing about growing up in todays world is that we get to experiment with gender, we get to push it further than its been pushed thus far.

I am in no way a normal guy. I think one in many instances, however I'm not what people would call normal. I love cooking, shopping, shoes, flowers, and making my hair look darn good! But I still love being outdoorsy, talking Jeep, and watching hockey.

You can be who ever you want to be, no matter what other people say. It's wonderful that your Mom says that she will support you no matter what, you don't get that very often.

Coda 06-19-2012 08:26 PM

It took me a long time to realize that very thing -- that it's okay to have feminine traits and still be a guy. Really tore myself up trying to resolve that apparent conflict until it finally sunk in that it doesn't have to be a conflict at all.

Desmond 06-19-2012 08:31 PM

Took me a bit of time too.

...And maybe a good head slap to get it to make sense. ^^;;

TheCourier 06-19-2012 08:47 PM

It sounds like you two have it figured out pretty well.Is there anything I can do to help me figure out what I want?

Desmond 06-20-2012 12:33 AM

Just be who you are. The rest will come. I'm very lucky that I stumbled into the network I did, it helped. I also had a very understanding partner who tried as hard as they could to help me.

When I said that it wasn't an easy road, it's partially to blame because it's so long for some. It took me years to finally admit that I was different. It's now taken me longer to figure out how to make me into a reality.

Just be you and the rest will follow. Research, talk to others, find a community. Thats what helped me most. Finding people like me. They have become my family, more so than my blood family. That's all I got.

Coda 06-20-2012 04:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desmond
Just be who you are.

This.

This is the number one most important thing. "To thine own self be true."

Anything else will only make your path harder and will make self-discovery slower and more painful.

YourLuckyKeyblade 06-21-2012 09:33 PM

Hmm, I wear men's clothing sometimes, well like big t-shirts and basketball shorts. I also love playing video games of that is considered a men thing...but other than that idk.


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