I can do dat.

Now, what about him?

I kinda wanna see him haunt the dude who harassed Lily.

Oooh, yes!

Tell me all I need to know about that dude.

He's slightly chubby, in his late forties and thinks his status as "the boss" and his money put him above the law.

Think of a middle aged Justin Beiber.

oh lord, that's terrible. O nO
what's his name?

Devon McDermont. You can take it from there, this character doesn't really matter so feel free to alter and adjust as needed.

Indeedly. :D
That seems like a very fitting name.

Yup,

Devon is semi-fancy but still has a ring of douchyness to it.

Exactly! *pats* Good job, Willis.

...Don't know whether I should feel proud of my ability to make the perfect Douche or ashamed.

If you're not ashamed of Burt, you may as well go ahead and be proud of Mr. McDermont... -.-

And the scrawney hookers.

And Aunt Maybell.

Yeeesss, all of your um. Glorious accomplishments in life, there.

they still ain't stinkmeaners.

> ____> ...well.. well.. THEY AIN'T SPIDERS

...Now are spiders worse than Stinkmeaners?