Online Friends.
 

Do you think it's possible to have true online friends?
How easily do you make online friends?
Don't you hate that feeling when you realize that someone you considered a friend doesn't consider you the same?
Do you have more online or IRL friends?

Feel free to tell any stories.

I don't get close to too many people online, things aren't always as they seem. However, one of my best friends I met while playing an MMO. I see having an online friendship as being no different from an old fashioned pen pal. We tell each other just about everything, whether it's online fun or real life insanity.

Hhhhmmmm... I do make online friends on avatar sites but only a few, a selected few that is. But I don't usually just tell much about my personal life. But still those few are still considered friends. :)

Well I have to be honest, there comes a point where my real life friends are considered on line friends since I only find out about them through face book. We rarely have time to hang any more and such and it gets annoying that they would rather update a status then give me a call. As for my online friends, they are real people and proven to me they are not trolls. XD in fact we have become pen pals and such its amusing. I guess I am one of the lucky ones to have a friend like that.

I meet a lot of people on forums and online. I consider them a friend when we exchange Skype (or some sort of instant messenger), talk a lot on there, and follow each other to other sites than the one we met on. Considering I don't spend as much time online as I used to, I have much more friends IRL than online.

Well, I've learned that people like that, you talk and etc, you can't consider friends online. They've all ended poorly for me at least.

Maybe it's just my bad luck -shrugs-

Though it's good that it works for you -shrugs-

Hmmm well I met my bff online like 10 years ago. We found out we lived really near each other and after about a year we met and now we have thanksgiving at her house every year. So online can turn into RL. And I know some others online who have made somewhat of the transition to RL friends. My acquaintance online is certainly larger than offline. I cherish people I have met online pretty much as much as those I know irl, if not in the same way. .

Honestly, that's really the norm. For the one friend I've got, I can think of a few that didn't work out at all. But then again, I've had crazy bad luck with some offline "friends" too.

A lot of my RL friends turned into online friends, pretty much the only way i still talk to anyone i know is online.

I don't think I have a single RL friend who turned into an online friend.

Well, I rarely see my RL friends, I talk to the on messenger, but I don't count that as online friends really .-.

i think it is quite possible and almost all of my friends are 'online' friends, though i am one of those weirdos who treat online friendships like irl ones, it is less about 'bad' friends and more about how you treat your friendships with them. i talk to my friends often, i maintain contact with them even offline(letters, gifts, texts, calls) i do my best to respect their feelings and their schedules and i treat them the same as i would with a friend i lived next to<3 my best friend is an online one and i love her as dearly as my own family(some days more XD) and i consider all of my online friends equally important to anyone else, if you talked to someone primarily on the phone does that make them any less important than someone you talk to face-to-face?

of course this goes the other way too, people who treat me like i am not important or try to wheedle and abuse are treated just as cold me by me as anyone who'd try it in real life, i have no tolerance for fake people who only care about having buddies or indulgences from strangers who's name they know. want to be my friend? then act like a friend

Well, recently, I've started to get ignored by my "online friends" by like all of them (and it's not like I keep sending messages) so yeah. So I'm starting to think they're like certain family member of mine, if they can find something better to do/someone else to talk to or whatever, I'm chopped liver.

well maybe, since it is something many people seem to be doing maybe it is you, how do you treat them? i don't mean 'good' 'bad' 'normally' i mean look at each one and look at how /you/ are treating /them/ maybe they sense something is corrupt/broken with the relationship and are just not having anything to do with you just in case it turns out to be true, a positive attitude and a personal/warm treatment of them might be what you need to get your friends to come back

Well, then they need to tell me whatever the problem is instead of just ignoring me. I would do the same for them.

Why should I and how can I treat someone positively when they're ignoring me essentially? Can't talk to someone who won't even recognize that you sent them a message. I feel like by just sending them the first message that I'm bugging the crap out of them.

Okay because I have two friends that are going through the same situation I can only say keep trying but at the same time understand your friend. Is your friend some one that naturally opens up? Or does it take a bond of trust for them to do so?

My one friend is constantly depressed because our other friend is off living her life. The friend that has been living her life, has known us since highschool and is an unexpected people person and gatheres flocks of friends and can be a little spacy. Though she is also an introvert but my friend (lets say A for sake of clarification ) tries and tries to communicate with her. Some days A does it, some times it is months before A finds out an event and other times she finds out through me because I found out through face book. But A has not stopped trying because she passionately loves this friend girl.

No matter what the excuses are never in a situation we do not want to be in. If you want to be friends then you will either find a way or not.

Have you heard of harassment and how messaging a person over time can be considered it? It can. It's not worth it to possibly have police or a ton of drama just because someone won't talk to me. It's not that most of the time they ignore me, they never say anything....and I don't normally message people too often because it's the way I am, there's only a few I would message often, the people I considered friends (and some I consider friends I still don't message a lot because I feel like I'm bothering them-which cause someone to act way overdramatic and all) and now they don't ever reply. If they did reply once in awhile, I'd ask, because if something's up and they don't want to talk about it...I can leave them alone, or if they don't want to be friends and will say it, alright.

But another problem of if you want to be friends, you'll find a way...is the fact that I've realized that most people just like to lie about stupid stuff, and deceive, and cause too much drama (not that I'm drama free, but I've learned to not talk about that to people online too much)

Okay first off how can people even know you are interested in talking if you don't message them? You just said you send out some messages and now you are saying that you don't?

And it all depends on what you say in those messages wheither they are harrassment or not. Clearly if internet messaging goes beyond having you blocked to the point of the police you don't want to be friends with them. That is kind of an asshole thing to do unless you are sending them stalker messages, then I understand.

Honestly there comes a time in your life when you need to learn to be proactive. I do not talk to people I do not want in my circle of friends. Period. I keep tabs on them, message them and they message me back. I make them to see them and we enrich each others lives. Assuming all people lie will never get you anywhere. yes some people do like but you have to just take that chance.

-headesk- If I never messaged them, then why would I complain that they ever messaged me back? I have to message them for them to ignore me.

Well, you wanna know where that assumption will get me? I won't be surprised or too hurt when it comes true. Kind of like how I knew my (now ex) boyfriend would cheat on me and with whom. I didn't say anything because I hoped it wouldn't happen (kind of like that thing you said with people lying), but then it happened with exactly who I knew it would...and it wasn't like they were close friends or anything. Now, if I had just accepted that would happen, it would have hurt a lot less. I'm just going with protection since it seems the best option nowadays.

Especially online when you can lie about everything you are and no one will know unless you let them know.

Okay that is different, completely. If I see something coming I can either make plans to avoid it or try and fix it. You sould like you just let things happen to you. Like whelp I know hes lost interest and has been making sexual advances towards that person. There is an inevidtable cheating but Imma wait and see if hes good?

In that instance once again you need to be proactive. If you could have stopped the heart break you should have. You could have said its not working out lets move on or try to be friends.

What you did was help create bitterness and mistrust and now because of one expirence with a boyfriend, you assume they all will be like this.

And if your last statement is true it really makes it hard for you to become new friends with people. How do I know you aren't lying to me right now and trying to get attention? How do I know your not a mom with 3 kids who likes to troll people? I dont know, but I am willing to believe because I am willing to make friends. even if its with a well played facade. Because I have had friends who are theater majors who can legit pretend to be some one new every day.

I understand people lie but I have enough common sense to distinguish bullshit from human decency. You shouldn't shut that out of your life.

@Poggio

We dated for under a month, I just had a feeling. I didn't know he had lost interest and his reason was he was horny and she was there. It was more like, I didn't know if I was right or not, but I hoped I wasn't right. And I saw no sexual advances towards her from him. That's the thing. I saw no clues that would have led to him cheating on me with her, yet I still felt it would happen.


If it was just him, I would only be against dating someone. But he's not the only to pull stuff to where I can't trust people. Family and friends stealing my stuff, lying to me about all kinds of things, and people online lying too (it's hard to steal my stuff from the internet I would hope).

And, if you knew anything about me, you'd know I would not even think of having any children. Because I'm becoming like my mother who should've never had even one child.

I still prefer my irl friends over my online friends... because online, people can just lie about stuff, while in real life, you can't really lie.
I have more friends irl than online. :P

i have found the opposite to be true but not because they /can't/. people online tend to be fairly honest about most things(though i hang out with a more adult crowd) simply because there are less repercussions for being honest, i have met some truly god-aweful people irl who have lied and deceived just to save face or look good

I've found that more people online lie for no reason because there is no such as a consequence whereas IRL if I find a friend or someone has lied to me, there are consequences. But people online? They will never see the consequences, how the lies did or did not affect me, so what incentive do they have to tell the truth when it won't hurt anyone that they know of when they lie? Other than being a good person, which very few of those exist in my experience.

And many people think I'm a pessimist, no, I'm not. I just remember my experiences, I'm a realist.

well i feel quite uncomfortable with that assumption. by the same account i can call you a rapist because you are a person online with no incentive to not be a rapist, it is very unfair and in the broad sweep of things is simply quite untrue

Yes, except lying doesn't make you a bad person, being a rapist is being a bad person. Also, I can't rape you, whether I want to or not, over the internet. You can prevent that by not telling me personal information.

And by me not being a rapist in general.

lying DOES make you a bad person actually, it makes you into someone that cannot be trusted or liked and causes people to avoid you and ignore what you say, it is not ok or right and you are hard pressed to be a dishonest person and a good one at the same time



you understand you can prevent lying in much the same way right? dont give liars any fodder and dont associate with them. i know liars on here and i just dont talk to them. problem solved, it is not always about girding yourself for the dog shit on the sidewalk, sometimes it is avoiding the shit all-together


to pull this point out further though, by your own admission you could be lying about being a rapist so simply by my assuming you are one there is no way you aren't one so you are, following this logic, both a rapist and a liar

Well then, no one can be liked or trusted (because everyone lies) which goes back to my original thing of online people aren't friends.

and my point is that said assumption is so heavily flawed as to need discarding since it omits any and all potential for having positive relationships and healthy interactions

Well, real life has taught me that that assumption is right most of the time. Family, friends, random people (online and not).

Yes, I believe so at any rate.
I played WOW for many years and made many good friends from it.

I have more friends online than I do in real life. I've always had a hard time "coming out of my shell" when surrounded by people. I still carry that shyness onto the internet, but it's much more ideal for me to speak to people online. I've had about the same amount of drama as I would having "real life" friends.
I also have an issue with stuttering, and it makes me feel less obliged to speak. Pffffpfpfff...

I've found friends online to be somewhat more loyal. Where as drama and gossip can still go around in a clique, it doesn't happen as much to me on the internet as it did when I was in school.

The people I met at school, that I considered friends, were more along the lines of kids who don't speak much and just accept that we've a lot more in common than anyone, so we gather together.

Though I have been deceived online, become heartbroken, and lost sleep and appetite over things that happen here, I find my friends online closer to me than the friends that live in the same town.

My online friends make it easier for me to come out of said shell! And I can't stutter online unless I make it so! Ahahaha.

Do you think it's possible to have true online friends? Yes!
How easily do you make online friends? Umm. I don't know.
Don't you hate that feeling when you realize that someone you considered a friend doesn't consider you the same?
YES! That's the worst feeling in the world. ; A ;
Do you have more online or IRL friends?
I probably have more IRL friends, anymore.
I used to have WAY more online friends.

It makes me so sad when I stop talking to people...
I have made many close friends online, but it always slowly ends.
Maybe this is why I don't really try anymore...?
That and it can be hard to find someone you click with.
Even online.
I've lost touch with the person I'd say has been my best online friend ever.
I miss her dearly... but I'm afraid of bothering her.
& the longer you don't talk to someone...
The harder it seems to be to just say, "OH HEY."
I just sort of float around solo, anymore.
It's a sad, lonely existence.

Do you think it's possible to have true online friends? Yes, most certainly.
How easily do you make online friends? Relatively easy (far easier than IRL)
Don't you hate that feeling when you realize that someone you considered a friend doesn't consider you the same? *Shrugs* Hasn't really happened yet - I don't trust people really unless I have to, even online.
Do you have more online or IRL friends? IRL:Online ratio...1:10

Umm...Holly...I'd just say "Damn the Torpedoes" and contact them. I know it is 100x harder than that (For the same reason, I've lost the majority of my Real-life friends).

Do you think it's possible to have true online friends? Yes
How easily do you make online friends? Pretty Easy
Don't you hate that feeling when you realize that someone you considered a friend doesn't consider you the same? Yes
Do you have more online or IRL friends? More Online Friends


My boyfriend keeps telling me that I need to have More IRL Friends. I do Have IRL friends, but in the end they treat me pretty bad. I'm So different than them to the point I feel like an out cast. Even with people who like anime and stuff, they still treat me bad. If anything I prefer my internet friends. Though I do have like 1-2 friends that are alright. Only because I grew up with them, we don't have much in common any more.

My internet friends are precious to me. They take the time to actually get to know you and listen to you. And if there is nothing in common, we find ways to MAKE something in common! And eventually they become my IRL friends as we one day meet up in RL =)

Hmm... I feel like I saw this thread on Solia.

Anyway, I think you can have online friends, and real ones. I met someone through role playing, and now we're Facebook friends. He's from Australia, so I know in retrospect, we'll never meet in person, but it's great to get to know someone, and now that he and his wife are going to have a baby, I'm really happy. Because I legitimately care, I guess we're really friends. I mean, that's what I consider friendly. However, honestly, I think I have more real life friends than online. I made a bunch recently. lol

You did. Because I posted it on there fairly recently.