I'm... Starting to Feel... Frustrated
 

I believe my parents have let my baby brother get away with too much for way too long, and I want out; unfortunately, I have no job yet and can't afford to purchase a house... I did browse around a bit for rentals (for a friend), but most of them are way too expensive. I can't move in with anyone, and I also want to call social services, despite the consequences of my family turning their backs to me. Ugh, what am I to do? I have applied to places, but no such luck. I think I am supposed to call them up to increase my chances of being hired, but for wal mart, they sound intimidating to me. I think I would have been better off if I left after graduating high school instead of sticking around to try and help take care of my baby brother.

My parents only tell my baby brother to stop doing things, or things will happen, but when he actually does it, rarely do they do anything, like the other day, my parents informed him that he would lose his tablet if he defecated in his underwear gain, but did he lose it when the time came? No, they didn't, and if I did something, they'd get mad at me, so why the hell am I here when obviously they don't need me? He's 8 years old now, and I don't see him changing any time soon, and he just nonchalantly does whatever he wants. He says "sorry", but they are empty words to me when he says it because he will just do whatever it is he apologizes. I think it's best if I left, but with no money, where can I go? I'll just have to sell most of my stuff if I have to, but we know I can't do that... I've grown attached to it.

Yeah, calling in at places you've applied to will probably raise your chances of getting hired. Not...that I would actually know, because...phone anxiety...

And um. Your brother sounds like, uh, he's doing things that he really shouldn't be doing, at eight years old...

I would, but I'm in a similar situation as you.

He is. He's very destructive too.

I'm not so good with family-type advice...
But I really wish you all the luck in getting a job soon! It's not always easy, but calling to check on you application (or whatever), definitely can help sway the odds in your favor because it shows that you really want the job. Or so I'm told. I have never been able to muster up the courage to call.

Neither am I. I know family is important, but... the only advice I have ever given to people was "cut them out of your life", but that was only to those who made it sound like the family they had was making their lives a living hell.

Also, that's what I heard to, but I never have the courage to cal. The last job I got was only because my dad worked there too.

Yeah, I definitely prefer the family I choose to the family I was born into. I mean, my family is not even close to being the worst in the world, but they're bad in subtle ways.
XP

Families can be hard.... There's a reason I moved to Florida from NJ... My family up North treats me like a black sheep due to me being bisexual among other things. In the long run things get better as you fight for what you want and don't give up. Just keep pushing. Jobs are out there. Life is out there. Be strong and grind it... Life is a lot of grinding and failing

They talk behind someone's back kind of thing?

I used to get punished for some of the things he did. One time, I was picked up off of the ground and thrown against the wall by my own dad! I am alright now, but still. While I don't ever plan on doing that to my baby brother, I'm envious of what he gets to get away with. My sister tells me that I was the same way without being punished, but I don't see it.

Who could forget you exist? You're funny, though I guess funny people are forgotten too. Thanks for offering me to vent towards you. It's not often staff of websites I frequent actually do something like that to their users.

Well, my cousins, aunts, and uncles just kind of have the kind of indifference towards me that they always have had. Basically, they only think of me when I am right in front of them. My dad is emotionally abusive, my sister and I can barely be together for a few hours without fighting, and my brother and I just don't talk. Ever. Like, he'll be in town and won't text me even though I'd probably buy him lunch.

I see. I think about my cousins often... I should write to them some time.

All I would say is set your own boundaries as to how you and your brother interact (such as when he is in your room or playing with your things) and lets your parents do what they will. If your parents have a problem, you will just have to stand your ground. At least if it's pertaining to your things, than there is a dividing line you can argue. At the very least, he might learn that you mean business, even if your parents don't.

I've tried that before, and nothing good came of it.

Have you tried discussing it with them when things are calm and the kid isn't being a pest?

No, because I know they'll say I need to change my attitude, and they say I'm "fighting" with my baby brother. That and they'll say if I should leave if I'm not happy with how they're raising him and that I did the same things he's done. It's true, but I got punished, and he's getting away with everything without punishment. False warnings is all he gets. Rarely does he get punished, like yesterday when he defecated on the carpet in the back room.

Well that's all I can suggest. A calm conversation is likely to go over better than one that's happening in the middle of any action, and if you know what they'll say, then you need to work your arguments around that. Otherwise, I guess let him be there problem and put your stuff and such where he can't get it while you work on your own situation.

If I had the money for a safe, I'd put the things I care about a lot in it, but I don't have one, and I don't like how he's just able to come into my room. I'm not allowed a lock on my door.

He's 8 and POOPED on the carpet o. O why would he do that

If I had a kid that did that at 8 I'd beat that butt he's too old to be doing that unless he's -special- like with a disability and doesn't know better and stuff :/

I have a friend who said his daughter has schizophrenia. I'm not saying my baby brother has it, though, he is supposedly close to being autistic.

After today, I'm hoping my baby brother actually starts getting in trouble and my parents start punishing him. Several hours ago, I noticed something strange about my dog and took a closer look. It turned out something was cutting into her neck. We took off her collar because we thought maybe that was it, but nope! It was a rubber band. I do feel terrible because I failed to notice something when I gave her a bath a few days ago, just like how I failed to notice something last week when I gave her a bath. Should I have noticed something before? Yes, I should have, but I didn't. I feel terrible. She doesn't seem to be in pain, but were still taking her to the animal shelter to see what should be done. She's not bleeding, though, but still, I'm furious at my baby brother for putting the rubber band on her. I do not know how long sh had it on either, and I feel absolutely terrible. I can't believe he would do something like that! If she gets taken away, I'll be very upset, but at the same time, something like this shouldn't have been missed.

It's entirely possible he thought he was "decorating" the dog or something. I can see how that would happen by mistake with him not knowing what it could do. That said though, it should be pointed out to him. It's not an uncommon injury to happen when dogs and kids are around each other, I suspect.

Sounds like you all need to sit and talk and I mean REALLY talk. Can sometimes take a few tries to get out what needs to be said or even figure out what needs to be talked about in the first place, especially if there are assumptions and annoyances flying around.

I told him before plenty of times not to do it because it could hurt or kill her, but he did it anyways, and now, I think I should hope someone is willing to have me as a roommate. I noticed a mess in my baby brother's bedroom and told him to clean it up. He did, for the most part but he decided to put the raisins on my parents' bathroom floor. I told my mom, but she said to vacuum it. I asked if I could take away my baby brother's game, but she said no... so I decided to not vacuum up the raisins and just let them be. If she gets ants, I won't care. Even before I noticed the cut, I told my baby brother not to put ANYTHING on the dog, since he put butter on her. Then, the other day, he put lemon juice on her, and I told him not to do that again. She got a bath. Then I noticed the cut yesterday when we were playing, which was a couple days after I gave her a bath.

Well, I'll try, but nothing good will come of it.

There is not much else you can do.

Gotta pick your battles with kids, sometimes too. If the mess is in his room, let it be, it's his space. Ignore the stuff that is annoying but harmless. Save the nagging for when it's important or relates to you and your space and so he doesn't just start tuning out everything. You might have to start developing your own approach with your brother independent of your parents.