Why do we even have that lever?
 

Ever wondered why ancient ruins seem to be full of deathtraps and pitfalls, despite supposedly being a place where people once lived their day-to-day lives? Why would they put traps in a place they're actually using? Why would you ever put spikes on the ceiling of your throne room?

Well... What if they weren't supposed to be traps?

In this game, you describe a trap that you might find in an old-school dungeon crawl or fantasy story, something that wouldn't make sense to have in a functional building.

Then the next poster has to explain why the trap isn't actually a trap, but actually a sensible thing to have had there when the ruins were still inhabited. They then describe a new trap for the next player in line.

The main rule here is that the explanation can't be that it always was meant to be a trap. It might be malfunctioning or parts might be missing compared to its original state, and that's why it's acting like a trap now, but it had to have had some plausible purpose when it was new.

So to start it off...

Why is there a lever that drops a giant stone block on the person who pulled it?

The lever was originally attached to a rope, and the stone block was used for grinding grain into flour. Teams of workers would raise and lower the lever and reset the stone block, so the next batch of flour could be made. Obviously, with the workers long gone, the rope either got stolen or disintigrated with time, so now it has to be triggered manually... which happens to be where the grain was originally turned to flour.

Why is there a series of stones that, when stepped on, causes poison darts to shoot out of the wall?

Because the people that lived there were plant folk. The stuff's not poison to them, it's nutrients. You're walking through their pickmeup place on the far side of their workout gym.

Why is this floor burning hot?

Because originally these floors were used to heat the inhabitants bodies when the winters were cold. Without anyone to keep up repairs, under pipe supports crumbled leaving vents down to an underlying pool of lava. Turns out the pipes took the lava's hot air and vented it in a radial pattern underneath the floor of the room.

Why does the path lead to a dead end that crushes you between to moving walls?

Because once upon a time people conveyor-belted animals there to grind them up into deviled ham.

Why is there a pit covered in hay so that you fall once you step on it?

Because it was an old fashioned wood press for making large sheets of pressboard. The "stop here" safety mark to not get crushed has been worn away with time.

EDIT: Ninja! (I shall keep my point about the safety marks. ;)

It's the hay pit for storage. What are you doing inside of it? Everyone knows it's the hay pit.


Why do we have stairs that turn flat and make a slide into a spike pit.

Because originally, the stairs were very high-tech and sensed when a wheel-chaired person was near in order to comfortably bring them up and down the stairs. As time passed, the stairs started malfunctioning, losing its ability to correctly detect who was in a wheelchair along with its ability to change its angle. Because of the countless number of years that have gone by, many stalagmites have formed rather oddly at the base of the stairs, causing the insane amount of spikes.

Why is it that a fireball shoots through the tunnel at head height at regular intervals?

Its those damn lava vents again. Damn deterioration. Ruining good function natural spring waters with molten rock and air pockets.

Why does the tile click down and release poison darts?

It's acupuncture. The people that built this ruin originally had very thick skin and needed good velocity to penetrate. Also what do you mean poison? It's a relaxant because they are hard muscled. The would get so stiff they needed to step on the pressure plate because it was otherwise hard to move.

I guess chemical compounds change over time...


Why is there an illusionary floor covering a sheer walled pit?

(Correct me if I'm wrong, but shouldn't this thread perhaps be in the games forum?)
It was actually part of a sacred right of passage and was a test of intellect.
Other cultures would later use it as a test of faith instead.

Why does tripping a lever send a boulder crashing down to roll down a tunnel?

It's an old game of chicken, of sorts. People would test their bravery and speed by tripping the level and racing the ball to the end. Spectators would place bets. It's would be kind of like American Gladiators without the padding.

It's also a cheaper variant of "running with the bulls" when livestock were too valuable to use.

Well, I suppose this thread does merit more discussion than other games, and since Coda put it here I'm not going to complain. ;)


Now why would this statue have a sword that causes a trap door to open beneath you when you take it?

Originally the trap door was meant as a cellar for when people ran out of wine. It seemed like a very luxurious idea at the time. The sign indicating the trapdoor's location faded with time.

Why does a cage fall on top of you when you open the door?

It was never intended to go all the way to the bottom. The ledge to stop the fall, as well as the bottom of the cage itself, has rotted away over time. It was, at the beginning, a more convenient way to store live foodstock, such as chickens. It made it easier to keep the food clean and fresh that close to the kitchen. What are you doing in the cellars, anyway?

Why is there a swarm of monsters locked inside the throne room?

Those monsters were supposed to be caged up in the dungeons..but you know how materials get weaker over time. The monsters escaped dungeon-prison and made it all the way to the throne room--where they were inevitably blocked by much stronger materials because the king's safety is of utmost importance. Not that the king is there to be protected anymore.

Why are there landmines all over the grassy field?

Got it in one. The rules say that games where the answer is a word or list or something similarly trivial goes in Forum Games, but this one is more of an exercise in creative writing, so it works here.

They're farming robots. They were supposed to go out into the field and lay down fertilizer for the plants. Unfortunately, they've rusted out with age... and fertilizer, fuel, and iron oxide make a very volatile combination.

Why is the bridge over this chasm just an illusion?

The builders could see the difference between illusion and reality and used illusion to come up with building plans. They're somewhere else now but their plans remained.

Why does an anvil fly to your head when you step out the room?

Because Deherree put that there to brain her brother Sparta for trying to sneak into her room. You just happened to have come through the window instead of the door.

Why is that giant two headed cobra sitting there on the treasure by the throne?

This is still saying that it was meant to be a trap.

Personally I would have said that it was a giant's forge supply closet. Of course he's going to want his anvil when he gets there!

The cobra isn't native; it moved in later. The pile of treasure is so magical that it's tangibly warm to the touch, which makes it a perfect place for a snake to curl up for a nap. Why did you have to go and disturb the poor thing?

Why do you have to pass through a series of giant pistons to get through this corridor?

Because you're walking through an engine, dummy.

(I should have put more explain in. It's not a trap! She's trying to get her brother's brain to work! Also, they're fifty foot tall Transformers)

Why is this floor zero friction... and ending in front of a pool of boiling water?

Congratulations, you have stumbled across the very first industrial kitchen for serving lunch to all assembly line workers in the kingdom's brand new factory at once. Now get the heck out of my soup!

Why is there a tarrasque in a hot air balloon flying around the north tower?

It's part of the magical space program. Tarrasques are huge, so anything that can float one of them around HAS to be good at flying! (Sadly, they haven't yet figured out that hot air balloons don't work in space.)

Why is there a knockout gas vent in the ceiling?

Originally it was just a room to help insomniacs sleep, but the beds have since crumbled to dust.

What's the point of all the pits with sharp spikes in them?

They built the hallways over a natural cave. Those aren't spikes, they're stalagmites, and the tiles and support broke years ago.

Why is there grease all over the floor?!

It used to be a kitchen until someone spilled a 100 gallon jug of cooking oil. They tried to clean it up but there was just too much and the cleaning solution bonded it to the floor.

Why are the doorknobs wired to electrocute anyone who touches them?

To wake up sleepwalkers, so they're safe.

What's with the horizontal ropes that suddenly flip toward the ceiling?

(I'm not quite sure what you're describing, so I'm taking my best guess.)

It's an agility training room. Like a cross between a jump rope and an obstacle course, soldiers were expected to learn how to navigate through the room, jumping over or ducking under the ropes. If they failed, they got flung back to the beginning to try again.

Why did they point a disintegrator beam at the front door?

They didn't mean to, but the transport dolly broke and they haven't fixed it or replaced it just yet. They were meaning to aim it at the pile of rubbish that couldn't be composted or recycled, so they could reduce their waste into ash and use that as fertilizer for the vegetable garden.

Why are there tripwires in this part of the forest?

They're connected to doorbells in the gnome village. They always love to meet new people and want to know when they're coming.

Why does a skeleton jump out of that chest and bite you?

Because he's playing tag, but his arms fell off.

Why is the floor crumbling?

*To Coda's* Because the poor dear has PTSD and sleeps in the chest because he feels safe there. You woke him up unexpectedly. His only defense is to bite, because he has no weapons with him.


*To Tam's* Because the workmen were from a sketchy floor repair service and they used the cheapest materials they could when fixing the floor for the king.

Why does this rickety bridge with missing planks go over a lava lake?

That's not a bridge. It's the diving board. And that's a hot tub for stone people.

Why did that little pointy eared brown guy just hit you in the face with that pouch?

Because it was supposed to be a mechanical doll that offered the pouch to people to put mail in. It was also supposed to deliver that mail to the nearest post office. Shame it became violent after malfunctioning.

Why does the door behind you lock you into a burning hot chamber once you enter?

It's just a sauna. Good for what ails you. Sorry that the door latch broke and the system ran out of water...

Why is there a portal to Hell here?

(D'oh! Ninja'd by Coda!) *to Potironette* It was originally a sauna, but the water pipes broke so now it's just a hot room. The lock malfunctions regularly, but some joker stole the sign stating so.


*to Coda* Are you sure that's not just the door to the dry sauna part of the spa?

What's the deal with the swinging axe blades in that hallway?

Because the apprentice smith wired the mechanism too tight again. A very talented metalworker but somewhat foolish, hence the extraordinary strength of the "launch" mechanism that was really intended to merely push the anvil from one place on the floor to another, as the aging smith was trouble with his back.

Why does this cupboard spray poison in my face? Repeatedly?

It's actually supposed to clean dishes when you put it into the cupboard and close it up. Unfortunately the water got contaminated and the system no longer recognizes when the cupboard is closed.

Why do you get shot up to the sky by air when you step on that block?

(Psst. Quiet. I think you might have missed an entire page of posts.)

That's not a hallway. It's a lumber mill, for processing giant trees. You're not SUPPOSED to walk in there unless you've turned off the mechanisms for maintenance.

That's SUPPOSED to be a face-washing cabinet -- see the sink below it to catch the runoff? -- but the cleaners have gotten rather concentrated over time...

EDIT: Ninja!

That's a trampoline for earth elementals. Isn't it fun?

Why is there an invisible barrier keeping me from getting out?

The barrier was intended to keep dust out, not keep things in. Unfortunately the original caster died so they aren't around to white-list objects and creatures.

Why is this health potion on the table actually poison?

This was an embassy for creatures from the Plane of Negative Energy. Normal healing potions are harmful to them, so they use potions of harming for healing.

Why do spears shoot up through the floor in this room?

It's an automated enemies-as-trophies spearer. The people who lived here loved to wage wars and made a factory to prettily impale their already fallen enemies.

Why does the chest explode when you try to open it?