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-   -   ~Hermes Delivery Service~ (http://www.trisphee.com/forums/showthread.php?t=3717)

Hermes 02-01-2011 01:53 AM

~Hermes Delivery Service~
 
Hello, Hello, welcome~ This is the Hermes Delivery Service, bringing you the fastest(and only) Non-pm mail service on all of Trisphee!

Here, you can purchase small notes and letters to be delivered to that special someone, or just to a random person, or even just to yourself.

Ordering is very simple, simply post what it is you would like, and make your post noticeable by making some kind of strange mortal offering to me, Hermes.

All orders are written by ME, and me alone. If you have a specific request, tell me so in your post to order, and I may or may not pm you about it.

If you would like to select a random user for your message, that option is available, for an extra 50 aurums. I will go out in search of one who would seem most improbable to receive, and send it, without telling them who it is from. The secrecy shall tantalize them into finding you, which is good for business~

Also, I DO offer my services for Secret Santa stuff. If you want to give a gift anonymously, and trust me for it, I will gladly do it, just pm me about it~





~ Table of Contents ~
1. Introduction
2. Rules
3. Styles and Prices
4. Current Orders
5. White/Black Lists

Hermes 02-01-2011 02:02 AM

RULES!

Everyone needs rules, right? Well, here are just a few:
1. ToS, obviously
2. No stealing! If you steal from me, I have the right to do things so horrible that the last time it happened Satan wet himself, both in fear and laughter D<
3. I love you all <3
4. I reserve the right to deny service to anyone/everyone I choose. If you need a reason why? Get behind me, sit down, and tell it to my ass XD
5. That last rule was for kicks. I'm not a jerk x3
6. I like courteous people. I don't like rude people. Huh.
7. My prices are my prices. I do a SMALL amount of haggling, but not a lot.
8. I reserve the right to add/remove rules as I see fit.
9. Fenris gets free shit because I've watched her work her ass of for the last however many months.
10. I reserve the right to give other people free shit too.

Hermes 02-01-2011 02:21 AM

~Styles and Prices~

Poetry

Limericks:

I am a courier of the gods
Who as lovers are usually frauds
They'll take you today
Then they will throw you away
And none shall pay heed to your sobs


~Limericks cost either 5 runes or 750 aurums~

Haiku:

The goblin ran far
To carry his guilt abroad
Then tripped on a rock


~Haiku is either 1 rune or 125 Aurums~

Sonnet:

I've seen a hasty goblin run too fast
and holding a rock that was too heavy
Of course, this rock would be the very last
That he would have the pleasure to carry

He tripped on a branch that was far too long
Then he fell down onto the hard dirt floor
He had started singing a joyous song
But now our little goblin sings no more

You really shouldn't run with rocks, at all
Especially when your brain is so small


~Sonnet is either 2500 aurums or 15 runes~

Freeform: No real example of this. PM me about these, guys.

Short story: Same as above

Special order: Ditto



All prices are BASE prices! I may charge more depending on how complicated it gets!

Hermes 02-01-2011 02:23 AM

~ ORDERS ~

Slots -
1 - Duchess 21 Limericks
2 -
3 -
4 -
5 -
6 -
7 -
8 -


~ IN PROGRESS ~

NONE YET!


~ Pick up ~

Also, none yet!

Hermes 02-01-2011 02:25 AM

~ White List - I are can haz? :3 ~

Duchess - First customer ever!



~ Black List - I is ashame! D< ~

NOT WANT!

Hermes 02-01-2011 02:37 AM

May your wings ever take flight, your breath always come and go easy, and may this shop remain profitable and helpful~ We are indeed open for business~!

Anurah Loveheart 02-02-2011 04:50 PM

so you are selling your poetry? and sending it to people over pm for aurum? im lost xD

Letiel 02-02-2011 05:04 PM

That is precisely what he's doing.

If I remember correctly Hermes never finished a sonnet for me from like several months ago.
I can't think of anyone I would want to send to... I'm not big on sending notes considering my bad experiences.
Are we allowed to just donate money to the cause?

Hermes 02-02-2011 05:05 PM

Basically, the idea is:
Person A: I want to give someone something nice, something written, something creative but...I just don't know what to say ;A;
Me: I have your solution~ Pay me to write it FOR YOU, and then either I or you can send it~ Just make sure I get partial credit for it, and pay me a small fee~
Person A: *does so*
Person B: Oh, yay, thank you! *comes to shop, pms me* I need you to tell him I'm eloping with his brother. But, hey, your poem at least made me stop and think first x3
Me: ...Ouch D= Well, normal payment, plus a tax for specialty stuff. Thanks~
Person B: Kk~ *does*
Person A: *receives, is sad forever, except for about one thing, purchasing some of Hermes' poetry and paying for delivery*




It is prefferred to let me have my fun and deliver it XD I'm Trisphee's mailman/hallmark~


@ Letiel - I finished it, just never got it to you D= I'll get it some time this week and give it to ya. It's different from what it was going to be XD

Anurah Loveheart 02-02-2011 05:07 PM

Ohh I gets it. but if i write something to someone I would want it to be from my heart <3

Letiel 02-02-2011 05:07 PM

So we can't just donate au?

Hermes 02-02-2011 05:10 PM

@ Anurah - I would still be glad to do Anonymous Delivery, which is free, or a Special Delivery, which will drag ya about 50 Aurums XD

@ Letiel - Hm?

Letiel 02-02-2011 05:27 PM

Never mind

Hermes 02-02-2011 05:29 PM

Oh, ok then...

Panda 02-02-2011 05:36 PM

What if those people read this thread? I'm sure they will figure out who send them the note. Sorry, random moment.

Hermes 02-02-2011 07:36 PM

That's why, if you want it a secret, you make it a pm XD

Anurah Loveheart 02-02-2011 08:02 PM

how does one special delivery?

Panda 02-02-2011 08:03 PM

I see :D LOL, I was all confuse.

Hermes 02-02-2011 08:03 PM

You send me a pm, and we set it up from there <3

@ Panda - YEah, that's ok XD

Batty 02-03-2011 07:18 PM

-clings to thread for dear life-

Hermes 02-04-2011 02:42 PM

*pokes Batty* Hello XD

Duchess 02-05-2011 02:16 PM

*luffles on the delivery service* OwO

Hermes 02-05-2011 02:17 PM

*luffles on the Duchess*

Duchess 02-05-2011 02:20 PM

Yay!! x3

I love getting luff <33333333333333333

I really like this idea x3 and I wanna use it ;A; *so shy*

Hermes 02-05-2011 02:21 PM

Then use it, Duchess~ And...I can't imagine YOU being shy XD

Duchess 02-05-2011 02:44 PM

I am when it comes to certain people >w>

But I wanna send to a group anyways... *nods*

So I need to gather a list first =]

Pinkie 02-05-2011 02:46 PM

=Ninja post=

Hermes 02-05-2011 02:47 PM

@ Duchess -Ain't gotta be shy with me ;D
....XD

@ Pinkie - Hey thar~

Pinkie 02-05-2011 02:48 PM

Hello hermes how are ou?

Hermes 02-05-2011 02:49 PM

I'm doin alright~ You?

Pinkie 02-05-2011 02:50 PM

Not feeling to good but im good non the less lol

Hermes 02-05-2011 02:54 PM

Well, just wonderful XD

Duchess 02-05-2011 02:54 PM

LOL.. I are shy ;//~//;

I'll figure it out later.... i needs to make sure i have enough money as well *nods*

Pinkie 02-05-2011 02:57 PM

Indeed its my mission today to get my anka...I need about 15k to go lol and imma make it or get close thats my goal

Hermes 02-05-2011 02:58 PM

@ Pinkie - Want a bit more help?

@ Duchess - Aw, Duchess, dun be so shy XD And hey, I don't really charge that much, cept for freeform and specialty XD

Pinkie 02-05-2011 03:00 PM

=Wags finger at hermes= Pinkie will never ask for help...if she gets help she will be greatfull as all help...but she will never ask for it =huggles= So thank you for asking but I cant answer that!

Duchess 02-05-2011 03:01 PM

But what if I wanna give all mah fwends a custom made sonnet ;A;

Pinkie 02-05-2011 03:03 PM

Duchess: Then you would be fantastically awesome....

Hermes 02-05-2011 03:04 PM

@ Duchess - Like, you want to make the whole thing yourself? Free.

You want me to make it, with no extra special makings? It's base price, minus the cost of one person, because...I reserve the right to give out free shit! XD


@ Pinkie - darn it XD

Batty 02-05-2011 03:05 PM

I stalk.


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