Awkward comments from a manager
 

I should start off by saying that this particular manager, I have had problems with about jokes. He's made sexist jokes that have made me feel uncomfortable, and I've gone to the general manager about it and he said he'd take care of it.

Just yesterday, he hands me a pair of scissors. I ask him what he wants me to do with them because I had a pair or two already at my register. He was standing about 10 feet away or so at the other register and he lifts his arm up and makes a cutting motion across the wrist and forearm. I didn't say anything because there were other coworkers around and customers.

I am very offended by it because I used to cut. And it's not a funny joke.

I guess I'm unsure if I should go to my GM and say something again, and if I do, should I even disclose I used to cut to further push the point that this joke is in ways worse than the sexist and racist jokes he has made.

EDIT: And for that matter, I wonder if I should tell my mom about it?

what he did was against the law and can get the company sued if you wanted to press charges

But who would I go to if I want to file charges? Would it be a labor board? We don't have a union at all. And I've had to go to the GM for sexual harassment by this manager before. They said they'd take care of it, but obviously not.

wont be of any use, but i would get someone to pay a visit to him and have a quiet word in his ear late one night...

no serious you need to find out who to take this to (i would not know as it will work different in the UK to the US) & get it sorted out right away.

Go to your GM again, and request the Regional Manager and Corporate HRs phone numbers and emails. The GM has proven that they are incapable of talking to this manager about the issue you need to go to their boss. If they refuse to give you this contact information(which by Federal law they cannot) then you need to contact the Better Business Bureau in your state. You also have the right, at that point, to talk to a lawyer about it, and they could inform you of whom to contact, or whom to issue a Cease and Desist to.

she is not an american i don't think

Choco; I am American. @_@


Fey; I actually have the number to HR. But I'll start with the GM. It's only fair he gets a heads up before I pull in HR and bring the house of cards down. But I don't understand the Cease and Desist for this particular thing. Those are usually for slander. My main issue is the wrist cutting thing.

he basically told you to go kill yourself, i think that is call for a cease and desist

Hmmm. Guess there is more to that than what I've thought.

A Cease and Desist is a general court order that prevents one person from contacting another. And I would call HR in tandem with talking to your GM; they lost the right to fix this first when they DIDN'T fix it in the past.

well at walmart you had to talk to each step no skipping but she has already talked to that guy then she can move up

UPDATE:

I talked to my GM and he said he would take care of it. As I'm standing at my register Bob came over and said we needed to talk. He said how he meant it as a joke and that it wasn't toward anyone in particular and that he wouldn't of said it if he knew it would offend me.

I told him that I used to cut and he got awkward with words


I feel like he has once again got off with a slap on the wrist because honestly, that isn't a joke. Not even a bad joke. That's not something you tell someone. Any ideas? Because I've had sexual harassment kind of problems before with him (ie not letting me weAr a men shirt because I am female and other little jokes)

let him know that while it is a step in the right direction he has, and within view of cameras, done/said many things over a long period of time that has offended you and broke the rules and this was beyond the pale, do not accept the apology. he overstepped himself

I hate confrontation in the work zone. All I could do was just kind of nod as he talked and said okay.

I told him that I used to cut so it even more so is offense. I know he doesn't know that but never should never say that. I'm tempted to call HR because frankly, Mike should not (the GM) have said anything tonight KNOWING I had to close with Bob (the offending manager).

then it is your fault because you know what? he /will/ do it again, if you say 'hey it is ok' then he will believe it is ok and do it again

But what am I suppose to do, start an argument in the middle of a store where there are customers?

No, you say "In the middle of the store during business hours isn't the place to be talking about this. Can we go to the lounge after my shift is over?"

Honestly, I would talk to your GM again, and tell him that you don't feel comfortable around this person anymore, and you don't think that he got the punishment he deserved. Choco is right, if you don't stand up for yourself nothing at all will change and he will keep making these kinds of "jokes", as he calls them.

I think what he means is sometimes you need a confrontation or people will take advantage of you.

I think you are awesome for sticking up for yourself, you need to continue doing it. Start documenting everything he says.
Does your store have cameras? did his actions make it onto one of these cameras?

These things cannot be dismissed as a joke, I don't see an argument occuring with that. If someone thinks suicide or cutting is a joke, that could indicate deep seated emotional issues with the person making these terrible jokes.

We have laws to protect people from what you are having to go through, please don't ever think you just have to take it because you work there.

belial should be my personal interpreter, that is exactly what i mean(and much nicer put)

Twigg; I probably will but I wanna do it on a day I won't have to face Bob. Because honestly it freaking makes me feel uncomfortable.

Belial; there are cameras. Problem is when he did it, his back was to the camera. Both times. When he came over and said we needed to talk he literally had me cornered in the register.

I've decided Monday I'll be applying to other places as well as callin the 1-800 number for human resources. My GM doesn't do anything so now I'm going to. =/

Because I've noticed if I put in for time off, it's like they purposefully schedule me or "lose the paperwork". Every single time. There has been maybe two times when I put in that they didn't do either. And I may bring that up with HR as well.

Anyone wanna hire me?

Sounds like a hostile work enviornment.

http://www.workplacebullying.org/faq/
http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-a-ho...nvironment.htm
http://www.fcc.gov/encyclopedia/unde...ment-fcc-staff

With any luck, those links might be able to help a little. Noone has a legal right to bully or harass you, even if you work there. You are strong as heck to even go through it.

Going through it, you don't always know what the right thing to do is. Doesn't make it her fault, but I do get what you meant.

Thanks Belial.

I cant' say I suffer all of the problems the first one talks about but I have been experiencing a lot of nights lately (with the past few months) of not being able to sleep, and when I do having nightmares of massive lines, nobody helping, managers just standing there doing nothing. Which is kind of what is happening now, but in the dreams they're laughing at me. And there are times when I can't distinguish my nightmares of work from the reality of being at work. Probably not a good thing since I have almost snapped a few times...

I will look at the sites tonight. Thank you.

Report the hell out of him IMMEDIATELY.

Trak; When I did, they decided to do nothing about it. So now what?

Keep going up the chain until you find someone who will listen to you.

Do have human resources department? If so you can report him to that department because your suppose to feel comfortable/and able to work without the knowing of someone bullying you.

We have HR, but it's a 1-800 number. And the closest day I can call is Tuesday. Monday they'll be closed (holiday). I'll probably give them a call. I'm afraid of getting fired from my job though

You CAN'T be fired for this.

It's called a "whistleblower law", and it protects people from getting fired for reporting problems in the workplace. If they do fire you, it'll be EASY to get a lawyer who'll take your case -- probably for free.

I dunno. Mom says that I have to have three instances.

It only has to happen once in the eyes of the law. . . .

It is up to you if you wish to give this guy leeway however. If it truly bothers you than you would keep pestering upper management about it. If they still do nothing then you can quit due to a hostile work enviornment and collect.

*shakes head* I have seen someone press charges for a similar charge on the fist offence a crime is a crime no matter how many times you do it.