Horrible person...
 

So my birthday was yesterday.... I got to go out to dinner saturday night with my boyfriends father and my boyfriend, then yesterday morning my boyfriend surprised me with my favorite breakfast, then for dinner My brother-in-law too me and my bf out and we had a really nice time, then we came home and had cake and White Russians...

But no one bought me a gift... Not even my bf. I'm calling myself a horrible person because I'm honestly upset about this... Am I that spoiled that I expect a gift even when Christmas is right around the corner? ><

Not everyone is like this, but I'm at a point of my life where I would rather have a nice night out for my birthday than a physical, itemized "gift." Similarly, I would probably take somebody out for their birthday rather than getting them something. They may have thought that the dinners and breakfasts and such were gifts.

It's not wrong of you to want a gift, that's just your taste and preference. But I don't think your boyfriend was trying to make you feel bad by not getting you anything. I think there just might not have been a clear understanding of what you might have wanted or expected from your birthday.

coming from someone who rarely ever gets presents for christmas/birthday, id much rather i good night out with friends/family. theres nothing wrong with wanting something material though

I feel like a spoiled brat though. Because I know my Bf planned that dinner with his dad saturday to make me happy.

I'm not saying anything to anyone though, I've been acting completely greatful and happy.

That does not make you a "horrible" person. It's much better that you get quality time than quantity time, though~ I tell you. :'3

Do you want an honest answer? Rhetorical question.

I'm not going to sugar coat it for you. To me them taking you out to dinner, making you breakfast, and giving you a good time is a wonderful birthday. If you are upset about them not giving you a physical present then yeah you should feel that way about yourself.

When they totally forget about your birthday then you are free to be upset about it.

I agree with the last two. I don't want to tell you it's absolutely fine to feel that way, or that different people have difference preferences. They acknowledged your birthday and did something special for you, giving you something no one else could have given you. If you would have rather received something materialistic, I think you should be ashamed. Talk to them, though. Tell them that you'd rather get something you can open than a special day with your loved ones.

I feel horrible now that I wanted a gift. I really did have fun and enjoyed spending time with everyone. I guess I just expected something since my bf and I had just moved into our first house together. Maybe some pans or something?><
It's done and over though, Besides Christmas is two months away, I need to realize that 20 isn't a big birthday and I shouldn't expect anything fancy, need to grow up.

I'm in my 30's
I got some birthday cards, a lotto ticket (Didn't win) and a trip to Olive Garden. It was nice not having to cook for a change. Then we had cake for my birthday when we got home.
I also got some well wishers from here as well, That was unexpected but hugely appreciated.

I think it depends on the family and to compare it to other families is silly. Some people get presents when they get older and some don't. One of my friends turned 40 and her husband bought her a new laptop. Either way it is nice to be thought of and a heck of a lot better than people forgetting your birthday.

And isn't housewarming presents (pots and pans) for when people get married?

I thought housewarming presents were simply for when you move into your first house lol.

I don't know, I have a very traditional italian family so they always do it when one of the "clan" gets married.

My parents forgot my 19th birthday, so on my 20th birthday they rented a jet and we took an hour trip to have pancakes. Sometimes the experience and the memories are worth more than an item.

But I do understand wanting to have some small token for your birthday. I like getting like a silly teddy bear or something that I can cuddle in the future, so I do understand. You do not need to feel horrible it's just a preference on whether you wanted something to have or something to remember.

You can't help what you feel upset over, so don't feel upset for feeling upset. Since you recognize that your family did other things for you than I'd say no, you're not a horrible person. People do what people do, your family took you out for dinner rather than buying you an object, and I think being accepting of that is more important than fretting over what upsets you.

Honestly? The outing you had is a gift. I really don't think you should take that for granted. Gifts are meaningless really. If that's the token you need to feel appreciated, you should think on that. Can't people who don't care about you get you a gift then to pacify you? People who genuinely care for your happiness shouldn't need to purchase it.

Like others have been saying, I think you should see the nice outing as a gift, and not expect others... But also don't beat yourself up or go calling yourself a horrible person because you were a little disappointed.

in my mind i think that if there's a meal, then i would also give them a card, handmade coupon, or some little homemade thing so they have something to show off.

Well, I would say no, because to some extent I feel the same way, but that's for if something were to happen to them, I could have things around me to remind me of the good times before they were taken away.

When my dad died, mom got rid of all his shit that she could so...I pretty much only have two teddy bears and his coins thanks to her. I wish I had more of his stuff.

So my reasoning may be different on why I want an actual gift than you, but I understand it.

I'm twenty three years old and I don't bother having parties anymore. Pretty much after twenty one, there aren't really any "big celebrated" ages left until you hit fifty. I rather go out and have dinner with friends and family and not have to pay. Not having to pay would be a gift to me.

I feel like gifts aren't really the point in a birthday and I wish more people felt this way. To me, someone's birthday is a day where you celebrating the day of their birth and just have some fun together. I don't know when gifts such as materialized items started working their way into it all, but I kind of wish it never had. A lot of kids get really spoiled because of birthday gifts, hell, sixteen year old girls terrify me when their "sweet sixteen" rolls around. I never acted like some of those girls did / do when I turned sixteen. I think the only thing I ever asked for on my sixteenth birthday was to go to my favorite restaurant and for a book that was coming out in a series I was following (only because my parents wanted to get me something).

I've not had a birthday party since I was about twelve. I won't say you are horrible, but do you really need another thing to sit around the house? My friends and I went out for my birthday this year to Applebee's and we had a good time. It was more than enough for me.

I think that gift giving became a consumerism tradition rather than anything. For what purpose does the gift serve? I would much rather feel the affection from those dear to me.

And be grateful they don't forget. My grandma did, not only my date but my age. -_- I made her actually ask me the date.

You had white russians... i'm allergic to alcohol... I'm jelly...

(sorry, that's literally ALL i can think about... .n.)

So I come from a family were gifts are a continual disapointment. All my life my family never had money on my birthday and only once did I actually get something I wanted because my mom was feeling flashy. One year while my sister got a 180gig ipod my brother a new stereo, I got groceries because I needed them back at my dorm. (about 40 bucks worth). And just last year I had to hear the words. "Oh I was going to get you a kindle because I know how much you love to read but I thought these shoes would be better"

I know that spending time with a loved one and all that jazz is amazing but honestly I appreciate a well thought out gift more some times. It shows you know the person, and if you can honestly pick out something they love and make them truly smile that is a good friend. My best christmas was last year. I mean I was having an extremely shitty christmas day to the point where I wanted to cry. I went to see my friend and she hands me a bag and just goes "Open it" And it was the very thing I had wanted or a long time. I can't repay something like that but she said making me happy was all she wanted.

I would say feel disappointed but not like you are a horrible person. You have expectations and I suppose your boyfriend will have to learn them.

Christmas is another holiday where I wish gifts didn't come into the picture, or at least not as many gifts as people seem to think we need to buy for everyone. Mostly because, I don't have the money to buy presents every year. I would prefer Christmas to be a holiday where you get together with loved ones and just have dinner, dessert, and gather around to tell stories or play games. We don't need the gifts.