help...
 

So the past few days my brothers childhood friend has been staying with us and will be staying for I don't know how long. They've been the best of friends for the longest time. Well what's wrong with that?? Well ill tell you..

It all started when he added me on facebook a long time ago. We talked a bit and he confessed he had a huge crush on me when we were kids. He told me when we were in high school the reason he let me put my armwarmers and makeup on him was because he liked me (I don't really remember this memory. I only remember the armwarmer part). It made me laugh. We talked more, I only really wanted to be friends with him but apparently he didn't. Things started getting creepy. He told me how when we were younger he snunk into my room one night (or more) and contemplated laying down in my bed and kissing me and other stuff. I felt the red flags go up but I thought. Oh well ill never see this guy ever again. So I started ignoring him but he kept at it. I told him I have a boyfriend(which he knew) and he got pissed. He wanted me to leave Mike for him. He kept saying how he was better ect.
I told him all I wanted from him was friendship and that was it. So he stopped talking to me.

I thought everything was good until one day Stefan comes upstairs and tells my mom "hey _______ is visiting family close by can he stay with us for a while?" Of course my mom agrees while I secretly freak the f*ck out. So I go on facebook and message him telling him he had better stay away from me and not even look at me. Which he replys saying "cold much?" So the first day comes and I do my best to stay out of the house. I go laser tagging with friends, walks ect. Come back no contact whatsoever. Im happy. Next day I get a message from him saying id better sneak him hugs while Stefan is away.
I feel nervous.
He joins me on my walk because my mom wants him to get shown around.
that night isle stay up watching anime and he joins me as well. Then says "you'd better hug me" so I do..
The next day passes with barely any contact. But he messaged me telling me that I have to hug AND kiss him now.
Now its today and im so scared. He keeps telling me he wants to kiss me. I don't want this. Im so scared but I CANT ruin this for my brother. Im so afraid...

How do I tell him no to make him stay away. What if next time he asks for more? What if he comes into my room in the dead of night and does something... I don't feel safe anymore...

Asami, you really can't take this crap from him. If you don't want to hug him, just flat out tell him no. Your safety and comfort aren't worth worrying about how your brother will feel. Stick up for yourself. This is sexual harassment. If you tell him no and he keeps trying to make a move on you, call the cops as soon as you can.

Ive been telling him no. He keeps on persisting. Finding ways to get me alone ect.
I told him there's no way I will ever kiss him or let him kiss me.

it was a mistake to hug him. tell him you don't like him that way, and be honest with him, if he's creeping you out, he's creeping you out .n. seriously, why let him think he can get away with this. also, try explaining to your mom the situation, i think she'd be more sympathetic if she knew that he's trying to do what he's trying to do, as well as the whole snuck in your room while you were sleeping bit


one other thing, you need to let him know the reason why you don't want to hug him or have contact with him isn't because of your brother, it's BECAUSE he creeps you out.

also what lucid say, get the police involved if need be. this is wrong and you know it, you need to stop it hun, before it get worse .n.

also, try telling your brother that he has been sexually harassing you, because that's not cool. when someone messes with my sister, friend or not, i draw the line. friends are friends but family is family.

I agree with Lucid.
Don't let him have his way.
You should mace him if he tries to do anything
>:c

But he could just as easily say he was joking around and that im making it all up.
Trust me hes the type of guy who trolls regularly but I know hes serious about this.
Ill be made a fool of and everyone will laugh and make fun of me.

And I could show them the facebook messages but he could say he was trolling

I told Stefan about the room thing but when he asked mason said was was justbkidding around and I took it too seriously.

they wont believe me.

I just need to get out of this house as much as possible..


I didn't hug him because I wanted to. He forced me to.

Like I said im pretty weak (both physically and mentally) I cant fight back or say what's on my mind... im just scared so badly....

Hikori brings up a good point.
Talking to your mom would probably be better.
Just let her know how genuinely worried you are about the situation.

But the whole sneaking into your room thing is super creepy
._.;;

trolling or not, if it bothers you, it's harassment, so if need be, contact the police, it's NOT okay. Tell your brother that it's not cool, even i trolling.

Yeah... ill try to... im just scared they will all hate me or tell me im stupid...
but Im even more afraid of getting forced to do things im NOT okay with

who ares if they call you stupid. you'e uncomfortable and panicking, and trolling or not, if this keeps up, he's gunna wind up doing something alot worse than forcing you for hugs and kisses, solely because he thinks it's alright, and i don't wanna see things go that far into the red because you were too afraid to let your mom and brother know how much this is creeping you out, let alone how much of a creep he's being.

I know... I just... im not good at taking innitiative... actually that's an understatement. Im horrible at it. I was hoping that my boyfriend would come down this weekend to protect me because I cant do it on my own... but sadly he cant.

how do i say this...

DON'T RELY ON YOUR BOYFRIEND he's already shown you he has no respect for your boyfriend, and let your mom and brother know this hun. if your brother doesn't believe you, then tell him about how he was actually forcing you to hug him behind his back, and how he's being even more of a creep now than he was when he was "trolling" if it bothers you, then your family needs to know.

I have a golf club under my bed...>>


Ill try my best tobtalk to someone about this...
//hugs back

Yeah. I know. Ive told him countless time im in a relationship and he says weird things.. he has also said 'even if you weren't in a relationship you wouldnt kiss me'
Which honestly... is true. But I couldn't say that to him. I just ignored it.

Asami, call the police. Please. Sexual harassment is defined on how uncomfortable the victim feels, not on the intentions of the harasser. The police will take this seriously and he can't get out of it just by saying he was joking. You've asked him to stop and he hasn't so now this is a very serious matter. I want you to feel safe, so please, please call the cops.

I'm about ready to drive for 3 1/2 hours to get there and beat his ass. . . There's nothing I can say that no one above me has already said. . . Maybe go stay at a friend's house, but you definitely need to tell someone about this problem. Stefan really needs to get it through his thick skull that people are more than what they seem, and you don't joke about walking into someone's room and thinking about kissing or other things to their sister. . . That's just sick and demented. If someone had said that to my sisters and they came to me about it, I would smack the piss piss out of him, and told him to stay away from the family. If you're uncomfortable being alone find away to not be alone.

I wish I was inventive enough to create a trap.
I could put my metal bookcase thing in the way of my door...

Idk >< ive never called the cops before... I don't know... I don't know.. gosh how im having another panic attack... //takes deep breath
I really.. I just don't know..

Sevvy for some reason I keep forgetting you know Stefan..
He is pretty stupid all the time. But he has savsaved my life once. (No joke) so I do have faith in him
but if doesn't believe me my mom wont.

My mom thinks I fake my panic attacks. I have pmdd (she thinks I made it up but I was diagnosed with it by a therapist and doctor) because of that I have tons if problems that she and my dad think I make up. I show them the symptoms list and they still dint believe me.

Deep breaths, Asami. The police are nice people, they'll help you out. I had to call the cops once and I was super terrified, but once you're on the line they're very good about keeping you calm and letting you know what to do.

lucid said it the best. for the record, sevvy, going there and bashing skulls is a nice way to get a felony record, and it is sexual harassment, so you need to deal with it hun.

Asami, we care about you and wanna see you safe, but we can only do that if you do that for yourself .n. i think i speak for everyone though when i say we're here for you .n.

Ill try im just scared...

Asami he is doing that same psychological bullshit your parents do some times. Your parents can get away with it because they are your parents but I will be damned if another boy your age does it.

Tell Mike. I know he can't get down to where you live instantly but he should be able to help with something hell let him talk on the phone with Mike. If he was anykind of boyfriend he would not let some other person do this to you.

asami, hiko has a good point here.
You know what I'd do though? I'll let everyone think I'm stupid, if it's for my safety, who cares if people think I'm crazy. You don't have to feel torn in this situation, you're kinda doing that dude a favor. Follow your instict here, if you have to kick his balls, do it, I say.

asami, i know the word has been hinted at it but i think it is best to be said;


sweetie, if he is allowed to continue he will end up raping you. this is not one of those things that goes away if you ignore it. it is not something you can deal with later. he will hurt you very badly if you keep letting him do more and more to you without putting him in check. get off the computer right now, go tell your parents and your brother. if they do not believe you immediately go to the cops and let them know /everything/ that is going on. you need to do this /right now/. this is important asami, i will not tolerate it if in a couple days we get a lai post from you from the hospital or worse, if we never hear from you again

I really don't care about a felony record. If she's being harassed by some dick with legs I'll be her older brother and whoop the motherfucker to the ground. Hell if I could, I'd let her stay at my place until all of this shit blows over. Pretty much whoopin' someone's ass is a last resort if he doesn't listen. A defensive measure. Like, decides to intrude into her room and do shit. . . I'm allowed to. Body guards do it all the time. I'm not going to kill him. Just greatly harm or slightly maim him. . . XD in all seriousness, I would really like to take out 20 years of anger. . . People like him are the shadow of the dirt I walk on.

Hell, I don't even know you, or where you live, but this makes me want to say come over here, you can stay here and if he comes here...Cops. Cops have nothing to do around here. They might enjoy me calling them to get someone off my property.

Sleep with a knife, in case what Poggio talked about...if he attempts it. Stabbing is legal when it comes to that-remember that. Or call for someone to get you for you to spend the whatever. Considering that he's that creepy, you don't want to walk there-he might follow you. (I understand if this is not possible) If it isn't possible-move that bookshelf you talked about earlier and still sleep with the knife.

I'd avoid the knife in favour of something more simple and less immediately dangerous. Every self defense teacher I've heard from has advised never carrying a knife unless a: you know how to use it, and b: you are sure he doesn't. Otherwise the situation can get worse if he somehow ends up with it instead of you.

I'd agree to tell your mom, tell your brother, and otherwise be vocal about it. Even if they don't believe you, the friend is going to have to stop at some point if you keep saying that he's bothering you, especially as it should become apparent that he's intentionally bugging you and everyone know that you don't like it. He might be counting on your being quiet about it.