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Bribes
I know this may be a strange question, but at what age do you think that it is appropriate to bribe children with candy?
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when they can talk back to you?
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i would think that was just a personal preference thing
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It's not really bribery. It's training, and you can use it as soon as they're old enough to understand the concept of a reward -- probably 2 or 3 years old.
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I work daycare, and we start offering rewards once they are old enough to get the concept of cause->effect, which is usually around 2.
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At whatever age you're comfortable giving the kid candy.
Is this a question about what age to bribe or what age to use candy? If it's candy, I'd say start really small at first. My niece developed a habit of insisting on bigger and bigger "prizes" and it's awkward to downsize after the fact, especially if the kid is really reward motivated. |
Never. Because then it becomes a mind set of 'if I do this I get this' and that's never good
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The thing is, the alternative is "no matter what I do I never get anything" and that's even WORSE.
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Bribes depend on the child, because that is all that chores were at my house. For every load of laundry I got 15 minutes of TV time, Washing the dishes meant I got to pick out the movie or game for the night, and Cleaning my room meant I could go and play with friends.
Bribes make the world go round and I still use them on myself. Cause If I do X i can get Y |
Thanks for all your input guys!
We hang out with a couple that has a 2 year old daughter. And I want to use candy to: 1. Make her like me better 2. de-escalate a meltdown |
You definitely DON'T want to use candy to de-escalate a meltdown. That reinforces that having meltdowns will let the kid get her way. Find a distraction that sidesteps the source of the meltdown, or give her a place to burn out her fury in safety.
If you want to use candy to make friends with her, then don't give it to her as a reward for anything, but rather give it to her when she's otherwise idle -- right when she shows up is a good option. It'll make her associate the gift with you instead of with her own behavior. Using candy as a reward for doing something right WITHOUT promising it in advance is a good strategy too. |
Confirm with the parents that you can give the kid candy as well, or what they would accept as a substitute if not that.
My dad would keep a sucker in his pocket for when he visited his friend who had a toddler. Fishing it out of his pocket became her thing. My niece is all about getting things, but she also has learned that certain things she only gets with certain people. She always wants stuff out of the coin machines in malls, but we call that a "grandpa" thing, and she's accepted that. She stops pestering us for stuff, and she doesn't get things every time she asks. Of course, now my dad is stuck with her pestering him for coins. |
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