Close encounters with...
 

...sharp objects.

Like...uncomfortably close. Wait, no, not even. More like...

"OW SHIT MY FACE" -kind of close.

Because, you know, staring at a razor to check for rustiness, then blanking out and jumping from sudden realization of something-but-you-don't-know-what is definitely a good idea.

Well, on the plus side, I now have a dimple. A dimple.

On the not-so-plus side, IT HURTS LIKE FRICKIN' HELL. Commence lopsided smirking, please.

Anyways. Anyone else have funny and maybe painful close encounters with sharp objects and the derp monster?

I had a razor in my drawer, blades up. I forgot it was in there and reached in for something.
Ouch.

GLADoS, I need to borrow your slow-clap processor.

But that had got to hurt a lot o.O;;

I um... had a run-in with a 4-bladed katar once...

Wasn't exactly funny, though.

I think you did mention that a long long time ago. -tries to remember-

I nearly crashed into someone while parkouring to class. Poor Pachev got freaked out as I rolled passed him...if that counts.

Was probably in my quest thread, Espy. Yeah, involved a *really* clean, bloodless cut and a fascinating glimpse of my own muscle...

uhm...I had a not-the-brightest-bulb-on-the-tree moment with a blender...and I'm still not sure how I returned with all my digits.

-headdesks at Funk and Fey-

Paychev? The idiot who sits next to me? -cough-

Funk, you don't need to parkour to class to freak someone out. You scare me on a daily basis already.

Let's see now,

1. shoving a paring knive up through the bottom of a pear when I was cutting them, with knive blade turn towards the hand holding said pair. Not the brightest idea, but I was around ten at the time and had sliced through several pears without incident. Was a little embarrased at the pitch that "mommy!" came out at, especailly since I don't use "mommy" ever. Not as bad as it could have been, just slice up the pad on my finger. Scar is still there. Only 2 stiches.

2. Figure skating punch is the face by a skate blade with toe pic. Only 1 stitch and superglue to fix that one up. Still have a small, sorta bumpy but of scar tissue down by my chin. Only about an inch long though, so not too much damage. Had to bail on the performance that year though. (Precision skating, reverse fan that resulted in said smack).

3. Pitting an avacado a couple years ago with a dull knive. Derp move? Knew that the knife was in a bad spot and hesitated on the twist. Knife came out of the pit along with a piece of it, and smacked downward into my thumb right on the knuckle. No stitches but the nerve is still repairing itself and tapping it the wrong way drives it crazy.

Those are my misfortunes with sharp things. Is it any wonder I don't like knives much? I don't like stoves much either, but we aren't talking about burns here, are we?

I'm relatively comfortable around sharp objects, as long as they're not stuck anywhere near my teeth. -plays around with steak knives while wondering about dexterity (much to the horror (?) of friends)-

Haha...skating. I've a good story with that that includes blacking out.

I've also got a reputation of being dangerous around sharp objects at school. Not too sure how that happened.

Serated knives don't bug me all that much. Not sure why, but it's the straight blades that bother me, especially the ones where the knife blade curves up, like with boning knives or the long fish knives for slicing really thin strips of stuff. Those have a rounded end that is half sharp. Evil.

I went camping once, and my friend's mom asked me to grab something out of her bag. It was really dark and early, and I was blindly groping around in the bag. I felt something strange brushing against my hand, fondled it a bit, and let it go since it wasn't the object I'd meant to find. When I found what I'd been looking for and pulled my hand out, some of my fingers had tiny cuts on them. They weren't bleeding or anything, but I found out that the strange object I'd been fondling was her razor.

I nicked my finger chopping an onion once, too. I'd stupidly grabbed a serrated steak knife instead of the flat knife I usually use.

I used to work with knives that can slice your fingers off in one swipe, but I don't get cuts on those oh no I get a cut from my apartment keys :X

Yeah, I got a cut from pine needles once. Fun times. /derp

Not sure if this counts but a gas cooker exploded in my face and the shrapnel (sharp broken metal) barely missed both sides of my face and dented the wall behind me. X_X I'd be dead if they hit me though.