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-   -   Not sure what to consider this. . (http://www.trisphee.com/forums/showthread.php?t=8209)

Lioshika 05-07-2012 08:05 PM

Not sure what to consider this. .
 
As some of you know, there was a guy who I had tried to be with for the past year, but he kept giving some stupid excuse why we couldn't.

I'll skip ahead to the new issue with him. As of March, we started arguing more and more to the point where it was becoming unbearable. So much so that one day I finally lost it and said a lot of hurtful things to him. I know what I said was wrong but then he suddenly said "You were out with guys and I was home contemplating suicide". I thought for awhile he was just busting my chops with it, trying to pull a sympathy card. He got very angry and attacking me verbally when he found out I was dating this one guy.

The latest argument he sent a random morning text message out of the blue, accusing the gentleman friend of causing the whole problem (though it started 3 weeks prior to me even knowing the man). I begged him again to seek mental help (as I have been for a long time now) and he said to me that he would rather die in a pool of his own misery than seek help. And a lot of other scary statements on these lines.

I've been contemplating sending his mother a letter (because I only have his cell number) to tell her about this all so that she might have him seek help. I even wrote the letter, but I haven't sent it yet because I want some opinions. Any ideas?

Pinfeathers 05-07-2012 08:14 PM

I'm really scared for this guy, and this is a hard spot for you to be in as well. Do you think he's seriously... serious? If so I wouldn't hesitate to take action. It may seem like meddling if you spoke to his mother, or that it isn't your business, but it would be terrible for him to harm himself and have the guilt of knowing that he would do something like that on your shoulders. Especially if you care about him at all. Try pleading with him one more time, that's what I would do. I would also likely tell not only his mother, but a few other superiors that are close to you and that you believe care and could help. If that's a possibility anyway.

I hope the situation gets better. <3

littl3chocobo 05-07-2012 08:19 PM

if it is who i think it is you need to forget sending it and just delete the number. he's done this shit before to others and though he's never actually /done/ anything he is most certainly damaged in a way that is not safe

Lioshika 05-07-2012 08:21 PM

Pinfeathers; I don't know. He said he would never actually commit suicide but who is to say there isn't a first? I don't trust any of my superiors so I wouldn't bother with telling them anything, but I just feel like telling his mother, might get him the help he refuses.

Choco; It's Sean. . . .

Pinfeathers 05-07-2012 08:32 PM

I see.. I also noticed Chocobo's post.

If it happens to be the same person, perhaps confide in his mother your concerns in the most sincere and urgent way you can, and then try to keep your distance? If there is something wrong with him that isn't safe for you, then it may not be worth it.

Lioshika 05-07-2012 08:49 PM

There isn't much he can do. He lives an hour away. The letter is addressed to his mother.

Pinfeathers 05-07-2012 08:51 PM

That's good then. I would send it, though I don't know your situation that personally.

Lioshika 05-07-2012 09:04 PM

I worry about him, but I can't keep doing these games. Two of the arguments he deleted me from Facebook. I told him after the second time he did it, that if he ever did it again I would not accept him back ever. So he knew what he was doing, but I still worry about him not being okay.

HABIT 05-08-2012 02:00 AM

I would say take action, you're right not to take what he says lightly, people have been known in the past to have accidentally killed themselves for trying to play a sympathy card. Even if he is a person who always plays at it and never does anything, it isn't a good idea just to leave it, I'm sorry for all the trouble he's causing you, but you should seek help for him.

nyreen 05-08-2012 05:49 PM



I don't mean to sound rude but why have you continued to bother with him when he doesn't seem at all interested in you? Why would you tolerate his reaction to you seeing another man when you two are not even together to begin with and he has absolutely no say in what you do in your personal life? And why do you tolerate him when you two seem to have an unhappy relationship and you aren't even romantically involved? Just asking.

Anyways I would send the letter to his mother especially if he is acting irrational and making threats.


Lioshika 05-08-2012 10:22 PM

Massy; The sad part is I kept trying to get him to go. He went once, and I kept asking him when his next appointment was. He told me he cancelled it because he had so much on his mind. I just hope his mother will take it seriously and actually force him to an evaluation.

Neirra; I don't know. I got caught up in it. I know that he at least said he loves me, but the magic was lost long ago. I felt obligated to make sure he was okay.

Ishu 05-09-2012 05:26 AM

I don't have pity for people who want to kill themselves over nothing. However, if you don't want to feel responsible or if you actually care, send the letter. Hell, give it to her yourself.

Lioshika 05-10-2012 11:39 AM

Ishu; I would like to give it directly to her but the problem is I can't afford to drive out there to do that, and I don't know when she is home. She is the bread winner and works during the day. Sean is ALWAYS there. So I don't want to start a huge fight by showing up to give it to her. I feel like I'll be responsible if something should happen and I not tell them anything.

Ishu 05-10-2012 04:58 PM

Can you get her email address? her phone number? You could try their home phone number and call around a certain time. Or, you could go to your school counselor and ask them to call her for you as she has access to the number and the mother would not deny that phone call.

Lioshika 05-12-2012 09:07 PM

Ishu; I'm in college. And he lives in a different city. Plus I don't know when she is home. I can only hope that the letter is not intercepted.

Edit: I just found the number online. I just fear trying to tell her.

Ishu 05-12-2012 11:12 PM

You could try texting her? If not then have a shot and make the call. ^^


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