Confused..
 

So alright i was talking to one of my Friends today about how i was talking to the ex that some of you have heard about that did some pretty awful things to me, and that i was being super nice to her because I have a forgiving heart and i cannot hold grudges, she was talking about gaia and i told her this site was better, saw how she was doing, if she was okay, helped her with emotional problems etc. blah blah.

Anyways he said i was foolish for even showing her kindness and that i should be more harsh what do you guys think?

Fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me.

As long as you are wise enough not to let her take advantage of this and set boundaries, I do not see the problem in being kind. But there is kindness and then there is a door mat. Your kindness might heal her own wounds if she needs it but next time you talk to your friend, ask him as a friend if it looks like you are getting in to deep with this girl if he could pull you back to reality since he is a 3rd party and usually people in love or with feelings see with rose colored glasses.

I am forgiving but that is different from trusting.

Poggio is right. Forgiveness and kindness are never bad things, but you need to be sure to protect yourself at the same time.

Unfortunately I've had a bit of experience with this one. Pog is right.

Gotta keep some boundaries and keep yourself from getting drawn back in and hurt again. It is a slippery slope, and at some point you may have to cut it off if you start sliding down it too far. Just make sure you do have that 3rd party to help keep your head on straight when it comes to this situation.

Harshness and cruelty are the words of boys not fit to speak.

I agree mostly with the above posters: Forgive, yes, but never forget. It is good to be kind and forgiving, and grudges weigh heavy on the heart, but don't let her use you either.

Thanks guys you had pretty much the same opinions I did, I explained to him that I didn't see a problem with it as long as I didn't Try to get with her again which I don't see her like that anymore just as a friend haha.. I Have gave up on relationships, So I don't see anything like that happening anytime soon, but I will find a third party just in case. :)

Personally, it's up to you and how you would feel with running into her on here. As long as your intentions are just 'friend based' and 'oh, I want an relationship' than that is fine, I have remained 'friends' with quite a few of my 'exs' but they also know my boundaries and the warning signs when they are about to cross into 'No Man's Land'.

And personally, don't give up on relationships just because a few didn't work out, XD actually... that might be bad advice from me.. -chuckles- but than, I am not caring if I'm in a relationship at the moment, I am happy keeping myself single for the person I want to be with, which is rare for me... -and oh god, that made me sound like a right bitch.. D:-

Dawn i have reasoning for not wanting a relationship x3.. haha, and i could never think of this girl as anything more of a friends anymore as i said she.. turned into a monster after we broke up.

Forgiving someone is healthy, then you aren't carrying all that toxic negative emotion inside you.

It doesn't mean you are getting back together, it just make you the better person, so to speak.