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Granted, we realize it's a joke, but they don't really care because they hide behind the mask of the internet. . . Well it's true. There's some /things/ we can say on the internet that we'd never dare say in front of their faces.

I wish I could pitch woo to my beloved with the omission of her deceased paternal parental unit exclaiming and interrogating with a fatherly passion via cellular phone of what I was engaging in with his daughter, begging the question of "Who was conversing with me on the cellular phone."

Granted, though you will develop an insatiable need to uncover the mystery that will ultimately be the death of you... and in the end, you will never, ever truly know who was phone.

I wish that the girl I love, Hailey, lived in our house right now and was with me, so I could snuggle her.

Granted, but after she comes over that day she moves across the country and you never see her again

I wish my nose was not stuffed up

Granted, but now you have the worst headache and sore throat in the history of headaches and sore throats.

I wish I knew whether or not that Vader up there, the "Divine Iconoclast" person, was male or female.

I never get to see her again? wtf is dis brb killing self ;~;

Granted, but I turn out to be androgynous.

I wish that I got 5,000 aurum per post.

(By the way, for the record, I'm male.)

(I actually already figured that out. I just thought of that wish randomly.)

Granted, but the Trisphite Police figure out that you are intentionally exploiting a glitch in the system and ban you for life.

I wish I couldn't ever be sick ever again.

Granted, but you die instantaneously so that wish can come true.

I wish that Heath Ledger never died.

Granted, but then the actor for Batman died instead.

I wish my lip was not swollen

(D: How could you kill off Christian Bale as well?!)

Granted, now it's completely covered in pus-leaking blisters.

I wish I knew why my subconscious mind is showing me all these weird dreams all the time.

THIS. D:

Granted. Your mind is showing you all these weird dreams because Slender Man is slowly coming to get you.

I wish I had the superpower to turn invisible and visible on command.

Granted but invisibility only lasted 20 seconds and your clothes never turn visible once invisible.

I wish more people were chatting on Tris.

ERROR. Unable to corrupt wish due to insufficient data. Please input meaning of slang "Tris."

I wish people would do stuff like I did just now more often.


Also,

o.o Not sure what you're saying that about.

Wish Denied because I said so...

I wish there was no drama other than Theater...

PS...Tris is short for Trisphee...

Granted, but now theater becomes so bad that no one ever watches it, thus causing all drama to return to everything BUT theater.

I wish my Matryoshka-like word drawings could be made into a standard font on every computer.

Granted, but your text thus becomes completely indecipherable and incomprehensible to everyone but you for the history of existence.

I wish that I had some Cool Ranch Doritos. ~A~

Granted, but turns out they blow up 30 seconds after being devoured.

I wish I could travel to Tokyo~ <3