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Granted, but it's actually and literally angel hair pasta. You are eating hair. However, you enjoy it greatly. Except after you swallow a good portion of it, then the hair fibers strangle all of your internal organs. You die a very slow and painful death.

I wish for 100 incorruptible wishes.

Granted, but it's a terrible, terrible remake.

I wish my hair was longer.

Granted, but the rescue puppies you reject never find homes anywhere, and they become sick and lonely and scared and start dying off. Their deaths affect you greatly with each one; you feel a surge in your body every time, a paralyzing strike that rushes down your spine in bloodcurdling depression and despair until one day, you just commit suicide from having not accepted more cute puppies into your house - a house, I might add, that can suddenly superiorly house and support an infinite amount of rescue puppies.

I wish all the puppies and dogs in the world never died and were taken care of perfectly, thus never creating a mean or unfriendly dog.

(I'm kinda the exact opposite. I've cried badly at a funeral before, and that was just at the funeral for my mother's friend's son. It doesn't help that I feel even worse when animals die. That's pretty crazy, though, feeling no real emotion when someone or something dies. ono)

(Also, the cat thing works because I frickin' hate them already.)

I wish this Pop-Tart wasn't so fattening, ogmfgmg.