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SHUT THE FUCK UP, DAVE.

I hate that my brain totally finds ways to just tear down any victorious, positive feeling.
:}
Days later after I presented my piece: "I'm so happy I got so much feedback! They really enjoyed my piece!" :D

Days closing the semester: "My written piece for class discussion only got 13 replies, the lowest of all the students...everyone else got 16,18,24 replies...okay, so they f*cking hated it. It was too long. They're bored of it. They have nothing else to say about it. Great. Good to know." ;U;

13 replies is way more than my fics get on ao3, if that makes you feel any better.

also, i hate that i can barely process shit, and i hate that i have a stutter.

;u; I stutter too when I'm talking to more than two people..makes me feel like a fool.

Gosh darn, I need money but golly gee willickers, <:'} I only want to write.

my eighteenth birthday party might not even happen now.
we were gonna host it at my sister's.
and my sister works in the NHS. she could die, my nephews could die, my brother-in-law could die and leave my nephews without a dad.
my dad could potentially die.

i'm just sad.

<:C It's a scary time...
And quite frankly, the idiots of the planet think it's the perfect time to help death spread it's diseased spores all over the place, which won't help anyone, and may end up substantially killing millions more. B{ So now it's even scarier.

It is WAY too early to lift restrictions over here in California. 8C
I get it. People want to hug, and go bowling, and shop for clothes in the mall. I do too! But not at the cost of human life. B[ And certainly not for my own self-centered benifit.
<8c I can't believe some people are this f*cking insensible...it's unfathomable.
When the frickin' White House can't even stay safe and practice preventive measures, <X/ it makes the rest of America look like a joke!
Omg.. >Xc I swear...if July 4th sets off a bigger wave of this virus because people just HAD to grill and have parties, and buy fireworks, and swim in pools, I will officially make it my life's pursuit to move to another country... B[

This whole thing is ridiculous!
I went to the beach the other day, (did not get out of the car!) and I literally saw some kids jumping the fence right next to the sign that said BEACH CLOSED.

Like...!!?!? Why do we even have this quarantine and these precautions if no one is going to fuckin' enforce them?!!?!? WHY?!!? >:(


Awful;
I made an attempt to go grocery shopping on my own for the first time...
My mom waited in the parking lot for me while I tried to go into the store by myself.
I nearly had a panic attack while waiting in line.. I ended up texting my mom and she stood in line with me and went into the store with me.

I feel like I failed. I don't know why I thought it was going to be easier than it was...
So I'm feeling a bit defeated today...

:T Well, you were brave enough to attempt, and that's at least a step forward.

Awful:
<xT I got no writing done today and I feel like I'm neglecting my health again by depriving myself of food until I feel like I'm starving. <x{

7 days. 2 remain.

Mom keeps snoring x.x I can't sleep while she's sleeping but I can't focus on anything while she's sleeping either.

tfw your friend keeps getting drunk off his arse and texting you on tumblr, and he's poisoned himself w/ alcohol before.

like, as much as i like talking to him, i'm worried that he won't wake up in the morning.

That is a scary, scary situation to be in. :(
I hope your friend is okay...

I'm aware that I'm always in a kinda terrible mood before my period arrives but it still sucks. x(

I just want to get through this ;_;

I only just logged on but my eyes burn looking at the computer screen, and I don't know why TT I'm on minimum brightness. Guess I'll log off and get some studying done instead, although this was supposed to be writing and browsing time.

he's been getting better about it. i think he's gonna try and join another discord server, it's better for him to have a support group that isn't just me, y'know?

edit: i am in constant emotional pain and i hate it!

Bleh. I've been a bit overloaded lately... Usually I make a habit of playing games for a little in the morning and in the evening, but I've been working on something or another pretty close to nonstop for DAYS. I've squeezed in enough game time to make sure I don't break my streaks on stuff, but I haven't really kicked back to relax, except for a little bit of Tetris 99 during the weekend, and that's not exactly relaxing... more like invigorating.

And even so... I finally stopped trying to keep up with Puzzle and Dragons after more than six years of playing the game. As much as I like the game itself, the new content just isn't providing any compelling reason to come back on a regular basis. I don't even like complaining about it because it's a great game and they are still adding content after this long.