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...which is literally a bar carved and shaped out of ice.

<...I'm fine. I can't really feel cold anyways. Getting ice in my joints is a bit...frustrating, though.>

<I've got apple cider, spiced apple cider, mulled wine, sparkling apple cider, hard apple cider...what the heck...>

<...hot chocolate, marshmallows, earl grey, coffee, chai, some really dark ale, ginseng tea, green tea, red tea, orange and spice black tea, mulled apple cider...>

<...and vodka.>

<...Probably some other drinks somewhere in here, too. Just ask. Also, talk to me. Or, you know, feel free to use my monitor to watch your favorite sportsball, but then I won't be able to actually talk to you.>

<...Yeah, this is open.>

Wineeeee~

I mean hello. 8D Feelin' kinda icy right now myself. Bleh.

...-grabs a towel to wipe off screen so people can actually read what he's saying-

<I may have forgotten about this...minor inconvenience.>

*comes in sexy-cute pjs but hides it all underneath two piles of fluffy blankets* (0~0); brr-rr-rr-rr it's freez-zing! Do you have uhh, ^^; water? w-without the ice?

A small mound of fleece, which may or may not be Derpy wearing little booties, a scarf, hat, and bundled in 2 fleece blankets, slowly makes it's way in, occasionally bumping into things.

"Mm mmmha hmmm mhmmmmtmm, mmmmsm?" He asks. Unfortunately, the layers muffle his tiny voice exceptionally well.

*is bumped* o~o??? *shivers and stares at little muffled Derpy like a weird tuna*

<One...plain water... coming right up. And yes, I do in fact have donuts. Microwave’s over there, if needed.>

-hands food items to respective requesters-

I'll take hard apple cider. Or anything else that's frozen solid.

And one of these chocolate covered treats containing sweetened egg white foam on a wafer. Microwaved, please.

THANK U FOR THIS
I hate the heat and I hate summer and I hate sweating >:UUUUU

Derpy waddles over to grab a donut, but discovers a problem. He can't grab and eat one without shedding layers, but shedding layers means freezing.
It is the true test of how much he loves donuts...

o.o? *sees that Derpy wants a donut, and gets one for him* ahhh, here you go. *notices that all the donuts are cold...hence the microwave* >8o Ah-;; do you need that warmed up?? ^~^;

The bundle of fleece shifts slightly as Derpy nods. "Mmm mmmsm!"

*warms up the donut in the microwave for Derpy* :] *pats the Derpy*

Can we use your monitor to watch the traditional yule log burning?

*sips water and gives warm donut to Derpy* :} Ooh, I love the virtual burning log with the relaxing holiday music too.