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Minus the racism. and far cuter.

"Wacism is bad." Derpy says as he cleans up the mess from his vegetable cake interrogation and pushes in a big chocolate cake. "Thew. Now we can have a party!"

-sits in a corner-

Derpy waddles over and hugs Espy's leg.
"Hi! Want some coffee? Or tea?"

<Thanks, but liquids might make me short out.>

Derpy thinks for a minute.
"What about cookies?"

<Err... I think my port only takes disks and various chips. ...Electronics chips. Not...food chips.>

...-pets Derpy anyways-

"Okay..." Derpy frowns a little, but sits down next to Espy and nibbles on a cookie.

Think positive, Derpy - more cookies for you ^^
And I'm certain there are other ways you can show your affection for Espy.

<Like grease, because someone tripped and splashed their drink all over me, and now I have to rustproof myself. Again.>

"Oh!" Derpy quickly gets up and waddles over to a well-disguised closet. He rummages around, then drags out a small can of grease.
"We have gwease!"

<Oh good. Now I can reduce the chances of getting the robotic version of arthritis...>

"What's ar...arfwitis?"

That looks quite the party there, Derpy!

"I invited more, but a lot of them were busy." Derpy pouts a little.

...Oh right, hah. Derpy doesn't have bones to get arthritis with.