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you can use your shoulder hands to style your hair while you do other things in the morning? or, uhm... hold a soda, with a straw up for you?

Clever! This was a good idea. I like this idea.

... I may need new shirts though.

shirts with in-built shoulder gloves. I'll get right on that.

Awesome. Good plan, bro.

You can sew, too?

I can shoddily glue gloves onto a shirt.

Close enough!

full gloves, or fingerless for added grip?

Fingerless, of course. I enjoy looking more badass than I really am.

I'll use leather biker gloves then.

A new fashion...

Yep. that's me. The fashion/trend setter.

You should try out for Project Runway! LOL

I don't even know what that is, other than, i'm assuming, a TV show?

Yeah, it's a show where designers strut their stuff in various challenges for a grand prize.

I don't have any sort of live TV. Only Netflix and the internet. I'm clueless when it comes to a lot of things.

No TV??? Ye gods!