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i have to go on universal credit at some point and i'm expected to pay about. 40£ towards the council tax because my mum can't keep up because her hours at the shop that my dad owns have been reduced, and she suspects she has arthritis or fibromyalgia -- which isn't too uncommon in people that are her age.

at worst, i could participate in some survey sites and make some money out of it, i suppose?

a friend of mine might have to have another bloodtest to narrow down what diagnosis he's getting. a lot of the conditions that he might have will essentially require him to be on painkillers for the rest of his life. so, uh. i'm worried.

Ahh, I see!
That's a very hard feeling to cope with. :(

Especially if you are usually that "rock" in those types of situations.

Also, I feel like the world could use more people who truly care and are willing to help others even when you can't do much.

It's better than the alternative or not caring at all, or at least, only caring a teeny bit.
I was just talking to someone via discord lately and they said they wanted to become a therapist or counselor because they knew how hard the struggle was/is for those of us in mental healthcare and I was so happy. The world needs more people who are empathetic, I think. Especially when it comes to healthcare.

this is more meh than awful but. both lit crit and ethical phil on the same day. the boringest profs i have had so far. both on the same day.

i'm sitting in class trying to protect my brain but it already feels like it's melting

ngl, i'd love to become a therapist / counselor but my empathy fluctuates, and i'd have to get a degree or something.

<x/ I totally forgot to take the first test in one of my classes on Friday and now it's closed online so I can assume I got a 0 for it. Shhhhhhhit. B{

I think its probably normal for some people to be more empathetic sometimes and less empathetic other times.

Being a therapist is a very thankless job, I think.
Because there's so many sick people out there and especially in mental healthcare.

What I'm trying to say is, it's a very "hands-on" type of job...

But I'm sure it's very rewarding when a patient is improving. :D
My current therapist thinks I'm doing very well (and I think I'm doing well too) and she says people like me is what makes her job feel rewarding. <3

I'm not 1000% sure, but I think you could become a counselor and not need to have all those fancy, big degrees..
But don't quote me on that. ;u;

doubt it.

wildly worried about my friend bc he needs to do another blood test @ some point and i'm just. what if it's chronic fatigue. that shit is progressive as far as i know and i don't want him to have to suffer with that and he's literally mentioned only being awake for 4-5 hours today.

why the hell hasn't more research been done with this? probably because more AFAB people get it and therefore 'it's not as important'.

Chronic fatigue isn't necessarily progressive. It's a syndrome, not a specific disease, so the cluster of symptoms doesn't necessarily explain anything about the underlying cause. Some diseases that cause chronic fatigue can be progressive, of course, but others can be managed successfully.

also another friend of mine is dealing with a shitty mother.

i was also frustrated bc the chronic pain friend posted over me in one of the writing chats in one of the discords we're mutually in and i'm sort of iffy about it bc he didn't even comment on my WIP stuffs.

Feel like the day started out okay, then it slowly just got not okay. =_=;
Ran late to class because I forgot to shower and had to use another bathing suit for class. Couldn't find parking for the life of me, and tried parking in spot closest to class, which I used to do before the campus police started to circle around there like vultures. >_<

I was 15 min late to class. ;_; Felt like such an idiot asking the teacher if we needed our boards and fins for class when it was so obvious we did, and I don't know why I did it. Why did I ask that? I wasn't trying to be a smartass, I don't know why I said that! <x'{ She inadvertently refused to answer my stupid question, and I just proceeded with being totally lost for not being there on time and knowing what we were all doing. ;_; Swam for a bit. Changed, and got back to the car.

I didn't get away with parking there without a 1HR paid permit, and got stuck with a $40 citation charge for not having a permit. B[ To which at this point I just accepted my fate and drove home without concern whether or not I live or die. I considered going to the offices for payment and just offering my blood to them as payment, because I might as well give SOME sort of payment that's similar to money. But that might prompt much concern and I might seem like a crazy person. >~>;

"You owe $43."
"Mmm sorry I can't pay you $43 because I have -$5 and I have no job. :T"
"It's okay. Just pay it in 21 days."
":] Will you take my blood as collateral instead? I can pay in blood. That's way easier. I won't park there again, I promise. 8c I don't need a hold. I'm poor. Please. Take my blood! 8C Take it!"
...yehhh, crazy. <x}
But, I got home safe and am currently in another one of the moods where I just want to f*cking be left alone in order to beat myself up more, then totally numb myself and ignore myself and abandon any and all responsibilities... B} again.
*sigh* I haven't even eaten lunch because I'm telling myself I don't deserve to eat for being an idiot. >-> ...this is how a normal human being functions, riiiight?? >we|||

TLDR: Was late to class because parking was sh*t.
Got scolded for being late because I didn't want to get a ticket and park closer, but ultimately had to because I was already late as hell.
Got a ticket for parking in a closer area without a permit. :]
I can't afford said ticket because I make no money, and it will need to be paid by my mum, which will result in more scolding.
*shrug* :T Guess I'll f*cking die.

Ugh. My left boot is slightly too snug across the top of the foot and resulted in blisters from wearing them yesterday.
:c
Hopefully they'll soften up a bit more as I break them in. And thick socks only. Unfortunately, no getting to wear them until the blister and burst blister heal up.
It is IMPOSSIBLE to find affordable shoes that fit my feet and arent ugly af.

Men's shoes can be worth looking into if you need something wider. A lot of them have gender neutral styles if that's a concern.

I've checked mens shoes too. They're also ugly. My boots are cute and I love them, and it's not really the width that's the issue in this pair, they're just a little too snug at the top of the boot. Not the side. And just om the one foot, not both.

Had baking disasters tonight. ;_;

baking disasters = probably some progress in learning how to bake. hang in there.

also double-posting because percival is dummy thicc.

but his mother said that he can't be on antibiotics forever. what is she, a pharmacist? no, she doesn't have any qualifications. (neither does percival, for that matter.)

if the doctors had any concerns, they'd have me show up for a review at some point. pretty sure these are also long-term antibiotics. (note that this is the treatment for acne nowadays. not exactly the best thing, but not the worst either. percival dry swallows pills.)