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Granted, but you'd stay dormant forever never to erupt

I wish I had more Aurum D:

(Who says being dormant is a bad thing?)
Granted, but the means of which you acquired said Au were illegal by Trisphite law and you thus get banned forever.

I wish I was a parakeet.

Granted but you have no wings.

I wish for super powers.

Granted, but it's the superpower of rhyming. (Lol. Amanda Show reference.)

I wish my DS hinges hadn't broken.

Granted. They did not break. They melted.

I wish I won the lottery.

(D: That's worse!! o.o And you've apparently been a user since my seventeenth birthday.)
Granted, but someone murdered you and stole your winning ticket before you could cash it in.

I wish I wish a cute and cuddly Calico kitten.

Granted, but you are adopted by a family with a mean little girl that pulls your tail

I wish the weather was better so I could take my puppy outside without him freezing.

Granted, but now you can't take him out for fear of him melting.

I wish I was a cannibal.

granted, but so was everyone you knew an they managed to eat you first

I wish i could remember my name.

Granted, but it happened to be a terrible name, so you forgot it and the fact that you ever wanted to remember it instantly.

I wish I had a time machine.

Granted, but it was built by M. Night Shyamalan (what a twist!)

I wish, I wish, I could dance well.

granted, but you accidentally break a leg in your first performance and are rendered a paraplegic for the rest of your life.

I wish I existed

Granted, but then you realize that existing sucks and off yourself.

I wish I was immortal.

granted, you are immoral... but everyone kills you every other day... so you live the pain of death over... and over... and over... and over... and over again...

I wish I was somebody

Granted, but now you can never be nobody, which means that you hafta live in hiding out of fear of being mauled by your fans.

I wish I had four hearts, three stomachs, seven minds exactly as mine is now, and twenty-seven fingers.

Granted, but do to overload of your cardiac system you suffer mulltiple strokes causing your brains to become half dead and three of your hearts die, and due to low circulation you loose all but one finger.

I wish I had $100,000,000, Had a secluded house on a deserted tropical island, a private jet, and every video game and system every created ever. xD