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Not granted because you already do. >:I But if you didn't, then everything else about you would become terrible.

I wish my Joker gloves didn't have a rip in them.

granted but now all of your pants have ripps

I wish to live in Japan

Granted. You live by the Fukashima Daichi reactor, sent back in time minutes before shit went down.

I wish I could go ;ARHGAWERO;HARG~ and form a coherent sentence.

Granted, but that coherent sentence happened to be the most offensive thing uttered in the history of offensive things uttered, which instantly causes everyone to hate you and hunt you down.

I wish I knew why Marcus at the top of the Trisphee header's right hand was going wonky.

Granted, artist's error, and it's all your fault. . .

I wish they would bring me the head of Andy Warhol so I can see if it's full of Campbell's Soup.

(D: How the hell was it *my* fault?! I didn't even know about Trisphee by the time the header was created!)

Granted, but you soon find out that it is not, in fact, filled with Campbell's soup, but are then charted away from murder.

I wish that I had enough time to watch all anime that ever existed, exist currently, or will ever exist. Of course, I'd take bathroom and food breaks.

Granted, but your social life becomes truly unexistent for the rest of your entire life, including real life and online social relationships, also including friendships with plants, animals, or any living creature of any kind.

I wish I wasn't sick.

(...hat doesn't seem like a bad thing, to me. After all, have you looked outside at the people? They're quite stupid.)

Granted. Now you've got a stop sign impaled into your heart and it's inoperable. You will slowly and painfully die in two and a half days.

I wish people were more active on Trisphee. ._. It's getting kinda boring.

(Well, that escalated quickly.)

Granted, but as a result, everyone on Trisphee because insanely boring and bland for your tastes in particular.

I wish I didn't eat the last of the brown cinnamon Pop-Tarts.

Granted. Instead, you ate the last of the hot fudge sundae Pop-Tarts and invoke my wrath, in which you are shortly hit with a bolt of lighting that fries you so hard that not even dust remains afterward.

I wish I really did have omnipotent powers.

They destroy your brain cell by cell. Simply too powerful.

I wish I didn't have exams.

Granted, but then it turns out you didnt have exams because your school/college/whatever burned down and everyone there died. Oh, yeah, and police think it was you and arrest you.

I wish I just had money in general xD

Granted, but the money was stolen from the federal government. They soon track the money down and arrest you for well over 30 years.

I wish I had regular Mountain Dew and not this diet Mountain Dew crap.

Granted, but the regular Mountain Dew causes painful ulcers to form in your mouth that get worse with each mouthful you imbibe.

I wish I was a master of all languages.

Granted, but you had to take me with to learn them, and I happen to be very annoying.

I wish my Pokemon on GPX+ would train faster.

Granted, but then they die from over-exhaustion xD

I wish I felt better right now~ xD