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I have returned from my worldly travels across the seven seas to give Tyson chicken nuggets with tater tots to the beast.

Unfortunately the beast doesn't like Tyson chicken nuggets with tater tots at the moment.

*crumples down in shock*
Can my trip to beast's lair be saved with crispy chicken drumsticks dipped in sriracha sauce?

*manages to escape (don't ask me how, I just managed it somehow), and offers Mdom, covered with chocolate sauce and whipped cream*

unknown, no worries, I don't think anyone has fed you so far. But yes, the beast eats crispy chicken drumsticks dipped in sriracha sauce. Then it finishes with Mdom, covered with chocolate sauce and whipped cream. And Den gets to write a 100-page paper on escape tactics to help future villagers.

I feed the beast Blueberries wrapped in Cotton Candy

ARE YOU KIDDING ME
~licks chocolate sauce and whipped cream of herself~

Shh don't give them ideas.
I offer sour grapes covered in diamond-like sugar to the beast as hush money.

I offer the beast roast beef, spinach, american cheese, and mayonaisse on a toasted italian bun

The beast enjoys Blueberries wrapped in Cotton Candy, then a side dish of sour grapes covered in diamond-like sugar, and finishes lunch with roast beef, spinach, american cheese, and mayonaisse on a toasted italian bun.

Well thennnn *Offers up Tiva covered only with whipped cream, chocolate sauce, and cherries* ;)

The beast gladly chomps Tiva covered only with whipped cream, chocolate sauce, and cherries.

New Taste

"I think we figured it out", said the monarch. "The beast likes everything where at least one word of the offer starts with a vowel."

"Your majesty!", the scout reported. "As much as I would love to believe that... the beast has just eaten a pepperoni pizza with double cheese. And it still looks hungry!"

Aw shiii. I thought it was the number of consonants.

*feeds apple pie to the sly beast*

Beast slyly eats apple pie.

I wonder if the beast like chocolate pie also

Beast shakes its head at the sight of chocolate pie.