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Granted, but now you can only poof into an alternate existences where things are progressively worse.

I wish I could have a PS4 and television setup.

Granted but the ps4 is somehow jimmy rigged to a 1950's tube tv with antennae. . . and its really hard to see things all the time. . . . and the connection is faulty. . .

I wish todays drive will be uneventful

Granted, but on the other hand tomorrow's drive will be a total adventure.

I wish I had better self control

Granted, but now everything around you is out of control

I wish we get orders this week so I don't get days off

Granted, but now there are TOO MANY orders and you cannot keep up and loose half the customers.

I wish I could speak Spanish fluently.

Granted but as a result you have a perpetual flu, to keep you FLUent.

I wish for wonderful snow days this winter.

Granted, but Fall will be just horrible.

I wish I can sleep 8h a day.

Granted but you can only sleep hanging upside down like a bat.

I wish I knew how to dance.

Granted! But now you can't walk regularly anymore, if you want to go from one place to another, you'll have to go dancing.

I wish it wasn't so hot here.

That's actually totally still a great wish! haha

Granted but you're now forever a little bit too cool. Constantly shivering slightly but not nearly cold enough to need layers comfortably.

I wish I wasn't so weak willed.

granted, but now you're so strong willed that you've become a total jerk incapable of compromise.

i wish my artist statement would write itself.

Granted! But now it's a pretty lousy one.

I wish my blood pressure didn't drop so easily.

Granted but now you're green. Sure it's totally unrelated but hey that's not what you wanted!

I wish I had a smartphone.

Granted, but it's also smug, and it shows off its smartness all the time.

I wish I didn't have to go out to buy more things.

Granted but now you have to buy all your things from an eBay full of procrastinators.

I wish I had lots of Cheerwine!

Granted but you can't do anything with it
I wish it wasn;t so windy