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Granted but it's just a copy of the wikipedia page on nihilism.

I wish, I wish I was a fish

Granted, but you can't breathe out of water

I wish I'd put less sugar in my coffee

Granted, but now it's too bitter and there is no more sugar in the world.

I wish time would stop for a day.

Granted, but you're frozen alongside it.

I wish my dog wouldn't escape from my backyard anymore.

Granted, but now your dog can't use it's legs.

I wish I could eat vegetables without hating the taste of them.

Granted. But now you dont enjoy the taste of anything else.

I wish I had the motivation to work out.

Granted, but now you only have the motivation to work out.

I wish for horns.

granted but your horns fall off as soon as you got them lol.

I wish for lots of clothes xd

Granted, but now anything you wear is invisible.

I wish I could find every single sock that goes missing in the laundry.

granted you find every sock in the laundry but absolutely all of them are a totally different color! bawahahahaha!!!

I wish I had a million candles on one cake.

GRANTED, BUT THE CAKE IS MAKE OF CANDLES.

I WISH FOR JEANS WITH DECENT POCKETS.

Granted....just granted, because me too dammit.
okay fine,..but the pockets are right by your ankles.

I wish for more rain.

granted, but now every time it rains, it floods.

i wish hoodies had bigger pockets.

Granted. Your hoodies pockets are now so big that they look so ridiculous that you can never wear it in public. They are also very uncomfortable so now you don’t even want to wear it to the couch to watch tv

I wish I had the most delicious donuts in the world

Granted. But now with the most delicious donuts, you have a menagerie of people bothering you, from pastry corporations to your neighbors and all friends and family who just NEED some of your donuts because they're the best in the world!

I wish I knew the answers to every mystery I wanted solved.

Granted, however, you forget the answer after a millisecond.

I wish I knew where exactly my packages are at in the mail at all times.