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Hmmm

Could we use undercover Elves to aid in our plight?

Elves have no sympathy for us, they LIKE making weapons for Santa's evil plans to take over the entire year. Haven't you seen how they have invaded Thanksgiving? Soon it will be Halloween….

I saw elves at Halloween too. The tall, tolkien-esque kind, but elves nonetheless.

Also, given that Illu just alluded to where some of the 'elves' actually come from, I'm not sure I'd feel comfortable involving them.

Not likely. Elves are children who we're mutated by Santa Claus's factory of pollution. That and their food is also enchanted to maintain their size because it's more manageable for smaller people to work in a factory. Becoming a elf also extends their life considerably a 100 year old elf is still considered a very young child.
I already collect Intel from the elves, they leave cries for help in the presents they make for children. I established a system and get Intel from various presents certain people receive.

edit: The system entails writing cries for help in invisible ink on the other side of the wrapping paper.

"I ignored the help of the Thanksgiving Turkey because it wasn't me, the Easter bunny needed help but I refused because it wasn't me, now that it's finally my turn and I cry for help no one is left to back me up."

Those are impostors to throw us off track.

Santa's ultimate goal is to spoil the "good kids" and having them grow into terrible adults that will destroy our society while all being blind supporters of Santa's reign of evil.

well, that's hardly true. Everyone knows Rudolph's nose is used specifically for navigation. The reindeer could fly just fine without Rudolph, but they wouldn't be able to see where they're going.

(For the sake of a crazy fictional plot, his nose is magical darn it.)

Was the poisoned cookie plan dismissed? How about evil cookies that are also poisonous?

That is genius! But once the cookies kill Santa who kills the cookies? Then what kills the things that kill the cookies?

I see this as a never ending attempt to stop evil. We should take matters into our own hands rather then rely on sentient poisonous cookies.

They are my loyal minions, why would you need to kill them?
Besides without the support of other classes of cookies they mostly just work as assassins.

In case they turn on us. *pats dagger on hand* That and you never trust a sentient cookie, they're related to the gingerbread men who are servants of Santa.

If anything we should team up with someone else.. Do you know the muffin man?

Isn't the muffin man Santa's main supplier of gingerbread?
But no i don't really know any other fighting force.

Exactly he supplies the gingerbread man. But he also gets paid handsomely to do so.

Perhaps we should pay him off to take control of the gingerbread man and change them all to gingerbread woman! Because as we all know, gingerbread woman are a thousand times more stronger then the men because they're baked with extra sugar!

All I can say is that I really hope Santa doesn't have a supersoaker full of milk, 'cause that'd ruin the cookie army.

THAT'S RIGHT HOW COULD I FORGET!

This is a man who survives on nothing but Milk and Cookies year round! Of course he will eat the cookies this plan would be fruitless!

Question! Is Santa the same man as all the previous rulers of this season?
If not maybe we can recruit some of them?

Take care you don't discuss plans with an elf infiltrator (on the shelf) nearby... then he'll know. :O

(Man, those things are creepy.)