Same here, except I know what kind of fighter I am, and in a way it scares me. I'm a very defensive fighter, I wait for them to attack, and simply redirect. Unless I lose my temper, then I just... Flow. Last guy to really make me lose my cool had 'Bruised Bones' And he told people he had fallen down a flight of stair, and the injuries looked like it.
I guess... But it's what happens when I lose my temper that scares me. And that what I do I never learned, it's simple instinct, I always flow around others, subtly diverting attacks away from me.
Maybe you learnt it in a past life or somewhere else. I do many things by instinct from my art to the way I move.
Though I know what you mean about fearing losing control. I have the same problem.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who fears what they are capable of... My brother is less afraid of what he's capable of, and more of the feelings that come with losing control.
that happens for me a lot, but there are times and ways to push my buttons that send me away from crying, and towards this infectious anger that just makes me want to hurt someone. And my Mood Affective Disorder makes it all the worse.
But the thought of learning how to fight in a past life kind of makes sense. I have a direct lineage back to Leif Erikson, the true discoverer of the Americas, and a Viking.