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I think you insulted my pet badger... I don't have a pet badger.

.... This is getting hard. I really don't speak Pine too well.

We need plans to kill Santa. I think the only viable idea we got all day was maybe a Pine Tree Mech Suit army?

But that makes trees too powerful. Should we also get mech suits?

I know, CupcakeDolly. Talking pine is a necessary business nowadays. We trade water and phosphorous for fruit and sap from trees. But that Santa Claus. *shivers*

I have the shutdown function of course, no need to worry about that. Though I have these great invisibility semicrystal-laced suits and flamethrower gloves.

As to the Glitterjellyfish, I and Crystallyn Whisper created them in the Lab's Particle Accelerator Cauldron. Made of bended lightbeams - like a micriscopic web of mirror creatures colonized and linked together. They send out in response to touch bursts of gamma and beta rays, and communicate via motion. As said, they see me as a creator, and as such are loyal.

(I will draw these in time)

*Doesn't understand any of it*

So.. By putting lasers into the machine like this...
*takes laser gun and shoots machine*
Then run it...
*runs machine*
It then creates Jellyfish?
*Machine explodes*

Did... Did I?

*A massive Laser tentacle from the GIF-dimension appears, then fades away*

Not quite. See, you need to melt glass and metals (tin, silicon, and mercury), then accelerate the resulting alloy/composite material until the atoms become unstable. Then, you take these lovely microscopic extremophiles that have been nurtured in the bottom of a cauldron and feed the unstable reflective matter to these creatures, their offspring will be colonial and like a radioactive mirror in ability. Indirectly, it produces glitter waste. Direct touch is deadly.

I can see this waste getting everywhere... Glitter shares with everyone!
The whole world would be effected by it's waste and the world would slowly die.

.... Let's save that as a last resort.

So.. What if we steal Christmas?

Oh, that would be more difficult - see, the Santa isn't the one who owns Christmas. It is a holiday whose shares are rumored to be split between many organizations.

But, if we spread like a shadow organization, targeted to take down the leaders with our cheer...

I heard some furry green guy tried to do that once, and it didn't go so well. Had a massive coronary issue that short-circuited his brain and forced him to return all of the loot. I wouldn't doubt the fat man had something to do with it, since the dark magic of Christmas spirit is entirely under his control.

Those bastards!

Oh right.. I heard of that. Didn't his heart become too big for his body and died soon after?

Actually the poor sod was forced to connect himself to an Iron Heart, and had to carry it around with him in a large wagon for the rest of his life.

The dastardly Jolly Old Elf inflicts fates worse than death to those who he catches. So we have to be careful.

Terrible. Just terrible.

I just got information about his second in command Mrs. Claus. I don't know what I'm reading, but these readings say that she is a big "Ho ho ho"

Can anyone translate?

Ho Ho Ho?

The Holy Order of Holly Hookers? Well then she is a might big Ho…..

I've never heard of such Order! I should gather Intel on this!

*talking to some people*
Yes.. Uh huh... YOU DON'T SAY.
*Ahem*

Well. Uh. I'm pretty sure Santa is already aware of all this. So I doubt trying to ruin him by telling him any of this would do anything.

So uh. I hear there's been work in the lab they made a super powerful Fruitcake!

Oh hey! I hired one of- Uh, I mean, a friend of mine hired one of those ladies once! Classy gal, but there was tinsel everywhere later.

Do you think that we could plant spies into this organization? Are they trained assassins? Do you know anything about their training?

Surely nobody knows till they try. I mean, if they're trained assassins and CAN'T be infiltrated, nobody would've lived to tell the tale and we won't know. Call one of them and tellem you wanna join.

So after my... "Investigation" of their group, I can personally say they are.. VERY TALENTED at what they do. I personally don't think we can trust them by any caliber. All I have to say is stay strong, because they will wipe you clean.... Of any information they might need.

Unless your me of course who didn't do that.