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DarkForbidden-Love

#65

I don't speak Latin but I remeber in one of my Spanish classes the teacher showing us the difference between tu and usted. Apparently when doing reports you should use the formal 'usted' instead of the informal 'tu' because you aren't familiar with the reader. The plural she did not currect us on though, we all used the informal 'vosotros' instead of the formal 'ustedes' in writing.

Puppy to Asami
Gallagher is Nursy~
Broken Muse is my girlfriend
And Ducky is awesome!

Quote:

That is the general nature of things! An equality, a mutal need!

What? To kill and be killed? To love and to feed? That is what you support! There is no equality between the pet and the master.
-Elizabeth & Jason (From The Thirteenth Season)

Suzerain of Sheol

#66

That sounds like the same concept. I would have been surprised if Spanish didn't have a structure like that.

Cold silence has a tendency
to atrophy any sense of compassion
between supposed lovers.
Between supposed brothers.

Putterfly

#67

Beyond Recall is a nice one! It's like something I think I would make!

You may call me Sam if y'all wish <3

Suzerain of Sheol

#68

I'm really not proud of that poem at all -- it's something I wrote in five minutes in creative writing while I was supposed to writing a poem about how I felt about leaving my classmates behind. Which, I suppose, is what it's about in a way, but the whole experience meant nothing to me, so I'm not really attached to it at all.

Cold silence has a tendency
to atrophy any sense of compassion
between supposed lovers.
Between supposed brothers.

DarkForbidden-Love

#69

"The best poetry is only written once, in one moment in time."-8th grade Lit. teacher.
She always told us that when we though out poems were bad. The funny thing was everyone though everyone's elses poem was better then their own, so there were many arguments about whose poems were worse.

Puppy to Asami
Gallagher is Nursy~
Broken Muse is my girlfriend
And Ducky is awesome!

Quote:

That is the general nature of things! An equality, a mutal need!

What? To kill and be killed? To love and to feed? That is what you support! There is no equality between the pet and the master.
-Elizabeth & Jason (From The Thirteenth Season)

Suzerain of Sheol

#70

It also follows that my poems that I like the best tend to get a "meh" from everyone who reads them. :p

Cold silence has a tendency
to atrophy any sense of compassion
between supposed lovers.
Between supposed brothers.

Quiet Man Cometh

#71

I don't much like writing poems for class assignments. Only had to do it a few times though all through my education. Three precisely.

2 in English 12 mimicing the styles of Sylvia Plath in "Mushrooms" and A.E. Hausman in "Is My Team Ploughing?" and then one in second year English in college, writing a poem about the romantic poets using the "Byronic Stanza." I actually spent more time and effort on my high school poems. I forgot about the other assignment until the night before and I wrote the whole thing at 2am over maybe half an hour, blak page to finished poem. It went over well actually. I went heavy on the alliteration and assonance and accidentally used a particular poetic rhyming device (can't recall the name - using a series of small words to rhyme with a large one) which my teacher complimented me on. I'm okay with most of the poem but the last two lines bother me. Not sure if I ever got around to fixing them. It was a poem about how Coleridge may have written "Kublai Khan."

Tea?

DarkForbidden-Love

#72

I've had to do several for school, though my teacher had KK before me so she was used to KK's style which is much different then mine. Hers has this wierd flow that uses old English with current slang, while mine is metered and ryming all without intent.

I've always found it harder to write stuff in school then at home especially poems.

Puppy to Asami
Gallagher is Nursy~
Broken Muse is my girlfriend
And Ducky is awesome!

Quote:

That is the general nature of things! An equality, a mutal need!

What? To kill and be killed? To love and to feed? That is what you support! There is no equality between the pet and the master.
-Elizabeth & Jason (From The Thirteenth Season)

Quiet Man Cometh

#73

Not sure what you mean by KK there DFL.

Tea?

DarkForbidden-Love

#74

Oh, KK= Kakushigo, my second cousin three times or something close to that. We met online as Deviant and Fanfiction author then met in real life at a family reunion. We look really similar and have been mistaken for the other on multiple occasion. She is good at many things including drawing and poetry. I'm kinda bad at both most of the time. We went to the same school three years apart. I wondered why people called me the wrong name all the time.

Puppy to Asami
Gallagher is Nursy~
Broken Muse is my girlfriend
And Ducky is awesome!

Quote:

That is the general nature of things! An equality, a mutal need!

What? To kill and be killed? To love and to feed? That is what you support! There is no equality between the pet and the master.
-Elizabeth & Jason (From The Thirteenth Season)

Suzerain of Sheol

#75

Not very happy with this. It kind of fell apart around the middle, I think. I do like the first three stanzas, though. May go back and try re-writing it from there.

Demogorgon

Cold silence has a tendency
to atrophy any sense of compassion
between supposed lovers.
Between supposed brothers.

DarkForbidden-Love

#76

I liek this new one. It is emotional and detacted at the same time you try to capture the human and the nothing together is great.

Puppy to Asami
Gallagher is Nursy~
Broken Muse is my girlfriend
And Ducky is awesome!

Quote:

That is the general nature of things! An equality, a mutal need!

What? To kill and be killed? To love and to feed? That is what you support! There is no equality between the pet and the master.
-Elizabeth & Jason (From The Thirteenth Season)

Suzerain of Sheol

#77

Well, I suppose that was the intention. It's obviously not literally about Demogorgon the Demiurge/Sovereign of Night/etc, but rather about the nature of change, how the only change from change itself can be a return to stagnation and the death of change. Blah, I still don't think it came out very well. :p

Cold silence has a tendency
to atrophy any sense of compassion
between supposed lovers.
Between supposed brothers.

DarkForbidden-Love

#78

To each his own. It is one of my favorites of yours, you don't have to like it. What is considered to be Beethoven's greatest work was actually hated by Beethoven himself.:p

Puppy to Asami
Gallagher is Nursy~
Broken Muse is my girlfriend
And Ducky is awesome!

Quote:

That is the general nature of things! An equality, a mutal need!

What? To kill and be killed? To love and to feed? That is what you support! There is no equality between the pet and the master.
-Elizabeth & Jason (From The Thirteenth Season)

Suzerain of Sheol

#79

Didn't we establish above I have an inverse liking-relationship with my poems compared to other people? :p

I am glad you like it, though, thank you. And I appreciate you reading and commenting.

Cold silence has a tendency
to atrophy any sense of compassion
between supposed lovers.
Between supposed brothers.

Quiet Man Cometh

#80

I like it, but you're right, there's some glitchyness about the middle, I'd say at the end of the fourth stanza. There are bits and pieces that I think could be editted out, and it's more those pieces that are causing the issues I think, rather than anying important being missing. I feel the poem is all there but has some loose threads that need trimming. :)

And being someone who often edits her poems three or four times over, writing evry rendition down, I say have at it. :D

Tea?

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