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I'll be posting my poems here XD as you can tell i suck at intros

Aug 17 2012: added trisphee song parodies to my collection


Galls song:
Mulan- ill make a man out of you (gall- ill make a site out of you)

the lonely girl~

Her smile falters,
Her gaze goes down,
Staring at
The cold hard ground.
Raindrops fall
Though there is no storm.
Their source coming
From sad brown orbs.
Her heart beats loudly,
Though no one hears,
Her silent cries for love
Reaching deaf ears.
No one to see her
Sad little smile.
Nobody cares
Because she is so vile.
A path before her
Set in stone,
Meant for her
To always be alone.
Tears fall from her eyes,
And roll down her cheeks.
Time flashes by
from days to weeks.
Sitting in a room
all by herself,
looking at memories
set upon a shelf.
Standing up slowly,
A noose around her neck.
She doesn't care,
Her life is a wreck.
Blood flows down her arms,
And drips from her finger.
A stench of self hate
Just seems to linger.
She takes a deep breath,
And steps on the stool.
Her fate was set,
It almost seemed cruel.
Taking one last look around
At the things she hates.
The clock ticking down;
It just couldn't wait.
She tightened the rope
That once hung so limp,
Was this the way to go?
Was she just a wimp?
She shook her head slowly
Clearing those doubts,
All she wanted to do
Was just scream and shout.
She hates her life,
And wants to die.
All she could do now
Is take breaths and sigh.
She felt as though now
Was the perfect time,
She felt like a crook,
Her life was the crime.
She takes one more breath
And takes one last step.
She ended up loosing
The fight with death.

unnamed

here i walk, all alone
my eyes beseech the world unknown.
trying hard to see the light
trying hard with all my might.
What lies ahead may not be clear
but what i know is what is here.
A world unfriendly, full of drought
lays upon us, its what we brought.
disaster and mourning, its what we know best.
this chaos and hatred that we caressed.
its only human that is what we say
to justify our corrupted ways.
so here i am, wanting to know.
why this world will not go.
the evil itself has manifest
like we are its nasty little nest.
a life of hope is never near
the only way out is very clear
so why cant we see it, if its right there
its probably because life's not fair.
so here i walk, all alone
my eyes beseech a world that's known.

Misery of the forgotten soul

I really miss you terribly, my love, my friend, my might.

For some reason you just wanted to see the light

my heart is heavy and my eyes, they weep

but mainly for you friend, for you were so sweet

I want you in my life again, why did you have to leave.

I did not even get to say goodbye, I just wanted to believe.

I wait by the phone every day, just waiting for you to call,

even though I know it will never ring from you ever, at all.

Why did this have to happen, why couldn't you just ask.

Its not like it was some sort of very hard task.

I wish for you in my life again, for you were like no other.

Some times you were even closer to me than any of my brothers.

Now every night I sit at home, crying oh so hard.

I need some sort of form of hope, even just a tiny shard.

My love for you, my friend was like everlasting infinity

just exactly like the holy trinity

so I will end this poem with this one last sentence of sorrow

I loved you so very much and you just wanted my love to borrow.

my last breath

shrouded in a mist of uncertainty,

all alone.

i do not know what to do.

i walk around,

nowhere to go,

no destination.

nothing i do makes a difference.

so why bother doing anything.

i feel a horrible pain in my chest.

my rib cage cracks.

crushing my lungs.

making it hard for me to breath.

gasping for air,

i think about my life,

everything I've done,

everyone i knew.

with my final breath of life,

a single tear falls from my eye,

as my body goes limp to fall with it.

unnamed

Deathly eyes
Lips that kill
Skin imperfect
Standing still

Made of plastic
Smile so fake
Nothing left
For her to take

Death inside
Heart so broken
Life's a waste
Words unspoken

Pearly tears
Perfect cheeks
Hair's a mess
Way to weak

Swaying arms
Shifting eyes
Falling down
Her lost cries

Perfect pose
Ground's her bed
Skin so cold
Stained blood red

Empty eyes
Lips so still
Skin so perfect
From now until..

Open casket
Face of stone
A funeral march
To bring her home

Like A Puppet

You are my puppet I pull your strings
I can make you do all sorts of things
I can make you laugh, I can make you cry
Even make you want to lay down and die
You're just a silly little puppet made of wood
Not one thing about you is even good
You're vile and disgusting with ratty hair
The site of you makes people swear
You deserve to be gone to be thrown away
You look like you belong to a stray
It amuses me to make you dance around
I like to see you grovel on the ground
To see the sparkle of life die from your eyes
And to see that you hate me, my life you despise
Makes me laugh all day long for I have won
This little war you think you've begun
I control you now and always forever
You won't be free not now, not never

New poems
http://www.trisphee.com/forums/showp...9&postcount=27

Out of the set you've posted, I think that The Lonely Girl and Like a Puppet are your strongest poems. These stuck out because of the clear images and organized text. Both are depressing, but also memorable and my favorites.

thank you ^^ those are two of my more recent poems
and i work very hard on each poem ^^
thanks for appreciating them <3

i only work well with writing depressing poetry XD

"Like a Puppet" is definately creepy, though some of the rhyming does feel a bit forced and doesn't flow as well as it could in my opinion. The poem that stuck out most to me so far is "My Last Breath," the last two lines in the first part particular. I do like the short stanza pattern in the second part. :)

yeah i just like rhyming. it helps me figure out my sentences better lol... i still need to name the other two. XD i havent figured out a good name for them yet. ;-;

I'm not fond of ryming(but that is personal preference). Your poems are interesting and thought provoking. The picture's threw me at first but I'm going to assume they are the pictures that inspired the poem. A favorite of mine is the "Like A Puppet"

actually the pictures just really reminded me of the poems lol

I really enjoyed your first unnamed poem. I rather like that it was unnamed, the ambiguity made it more inviting, struck my curiosity, so to speak. But the poem itself brings a very clear light on a very detached human condition, that we are our own excuses. My interpretation might be skewed, but I felt like the poem was a slap in the face almost, to humanities lack of ownership towards its own plight.

Theres more to it than that, but I really like the pink elephant view towards the human condition. It's true. We very rarely acknowledge that we are our own problem, that our own discomfort is simply a direct backlash of what we have created, despite our best intentions. That really, our fingers pointed should be fingers better used to mend.

Well... that's my interpretation of it.

thats exactly what i was going for! C: you are awesomes C:

Cool :D

This is more just my opinion, but... the second unnamed. I really like this one as well. There's two angels that can be taken from it, but really the completed image of the poem remains the same. It's describing fake people, AND its describing falseness. Not just describing the culprit, but describing the crime... Not just the victim, but also the wound. And it also can be read from either of those perspectives. It both accuses and victimizes the "individual" your describing.

It feels kind of like an hourglass. Not so much completed circles as it is two things at once. Ever seen that painting of the old woman and young woman, where really its just the perspective that you take of it? This poem has done that. It can be taken personally, or it can be seen suggestively and general.

I like that. It's awesome. Intended or not. Killing two birds with one stone, even if they don't deserve to die, is a feat.

wait do you mean the unnamed one or "like a puppet"
because that describes what i was doing with the puppet poem. i wrote it about myself and this situation i was in. this person who loved to control me and such. i dont like to get into specifics but that was written to get my pain out.

So, "like a puppet" seems very personal to you. "unnamed" 2 was what I was talking about. The unnamed one can take two different perspectives, both being outward, allowing the reader (not the writer), to really understand the perspective and kind of put themselves "in your shoes". "like a puppet" has a very sentimental feel, and a very personal view to it. It's the kind of poem that makes me feel as though I shouldn't dare put myself in your shoes for I really don't want to.

The second unnamed poem was more outward, "like a puppet" was very inward, but both take on a kind of dual meaning, which is very awesome.

And so, I really enjoyed "like a puppet", but I really enjoyed of it because it very much so captures you and puts it in words. It's a situation that can be related to others, but has such a sentimentality that it can't easily be duplicated. Its deeper emotional ties allow the poem to reflect on the readers experiences, while leaving a strong of personal sentiment that it can be taken and understood as extremely intimate.

That's the word I was looking for, intimate. "like a puppet" is very intimate. unnamed 2 was ambiguous and general, leaving a shotgun emotional pattern that is highly effective at relating to others and conveying a personal message to any number of people. "like a puppet" was irreplaceable, intimate, and special.

Not that either of your other poems weren't, this one just more so in particular. :)

oh i see XD thanks for clearing that up. it just seemed as though you were describing that poem rather the other. in unnamed 2 i was trying to describe the beauty of death rather than what you said. but its awesome that someone got that out of that poem. it makes me feel good that others have different views of my poetry.

Perspective is everything.

Yes it is

On that note I'm in the middle of writing a new poem.. though I'm having troubles ending it..