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Italicized are users that evaded death or were killed.
Bolded are “killing words”.


It was a quiet night and in Red Lion’s pub, travesty struck. The death of one Natsu Dragneel occurred by means of a frisbee, thrown by Ashy, of all things! How could this have happened? Who could have foreseen it coming? Then but a couple hours later, another death took place as Ashy was brutally murdered by a stampede from a mass of camels that somehow found their way into the pub, not much is known as to how they came to be in the fine establishment other than what appears to be portal, which Espy created from a curious equation consisting of numerous numbers and symbols.

As the sun rose into the sky, so, too, did it set, yet not another death had taken place. Alas, this peace was not to last as soon after a death came about! This time it happened in Espy’s freebie centre when Espy began a succinct chorus of Jingle Bells causing Lucid: to bleed to death from her ears. However, her revival from her musical death was not to last as she was soon sniped to death by means of a falcon sent after her, by Natsu, in the Assassins headquarters.

Time passed and soon headquarters received word from Alpha that he desired to concede his target, Rem, as his attempts of sending tarantulas failed. However, his failure was short lived as he soon followed it up with the slaying of Honey in her freebie centre, through a gorgeous opal which upon further inspection had been coated with an invisible, potent poison.

As the sun continued to move along its preset path, headquarters was soon alerted to a plethora of failed missions; one by Rem who could not take down Espy, even with a bombardment of documents, another by Natsu how ran into a pane in the buttocks with his attempts to assassinate Rem, while Lucid: failed to take down Gaius with a sumptuous, sweet strawberry, and try as she might, Espy just could not manage to kill Gallagher, no matter how many tissues she tried to use.

Yet, just as many assignments were given up on, so, too, were many accomplished. Such as with the death of Espy by a mysterious phone call set up by Alpha while she was wandering about in The Bunker. Alpha even managed to follow that up with a quick unorthodox usurpation of Rem, and in his own freebie centre no less! How sad, to not even be safe in one’s own complex. But that’s the life of an assassin, to hunt and be hunted.

Despite his recent passing, Rem had soon been killed once more, this time in Batty’s event building, by Lucid: and batch of her spaghetti and meatballs. But while Lucid: succeeded with her kill, Alpha failed to flabbergast Kent to death.

Not long after, Gallagher’s event freebie centre was host to a duo of kills as Gallagher fell prey to a mass of Pokémon sent by Crevan, though in turn Gallagher struck down Alpha with a stapler. To follow up the pair of kills, Espy soon yielded his target of Kent as the chopstick projectiles failed to reach them.

Yet, just like a clock hand continues to move forward, another event took place as Honey conked Gallagher to death with a dictionary in her Honeycomb hangout. Following her death, Gallagher then manages to evade death by plasma, which had been sent by Alpha to destroy her.

Espy then fails to commandeer her flock of cardinals to peck Honey to death, which lead to her death as she found herself overwhelmed by a bunch of origami creations, in her freebie centre, which had been procured by Crevan. Then Lucid: struck next as she swooped in to kill Gallagher with a bobblehead, of all things, and in her own freebie centre as well.

Crevan then evaded a barrage of attempts at her death as Espy failed to strangle her to death with jewellry, Natsunaine failed to beat her to death with a centrepiece, and Gallagher failed to gross her out to death with a booger.

After reviving once more, Espy got to work and with a quick strike killed Natsunaine in his own magical closet, while Gallagher avoided death by an envelope that had been mailed to her from toxxic. Lucid: then failed to assassinate toxxic with a chunk of rubber; while the same occurred with Rem who surrendered his target of Ashy as try as long as he could, he simply could not dispatch her with his lung.

Avenging her death by Honey ages ago in her Honeycomb hangout, Gallagher returned the favour and exterminated her with a few whacks with a trophy. Once revived again, Honey immediately escapes a spicy death from a pepper storm sent by Espy.

Finally things settled down as all the killings stopped, peace prevailing among the streets of Trisphee once more.