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Beltran fallowed Thalion to the cell where they held Mizuki and right away he flinched at the look of the male. He was all but hung from the roof. His feet dangled just above the ground allowing his toes to brush the cell floor as he hung there. Though that was not what made him gasp a little. No it was the fact that even though Mizuki had no grounds to do anything he still struggled. He could tell from the way the male jerked and held his hands he was going through every spell he had to try and get free.

Even as the king stood before him with the book Mizuki didnt stop. So Beltran just stood there as he watched the male struggle against the chains as the king began the spell. It was long but with the flash of light at the end Beltran knew it was done right as the body of the thrashing male went limp. With Mizukis head hung it was hard to tell but after a moment those lavender orbs opened just a crack but it was enough for Thalion to send the king back to his room laughing at the word of a promise.

Beltran sighed a little though as those eyes closed again and the body hung limply there. As soon as it was finished Mizuki was taken down and moved from the cell to the medical ward in a matter of moments. Making sure the male had his own room the two stayed behind as everyone else left. It was sad to Beltran everything that had happened but at least they were on the way of correcting things...right?

However his words ended as Thalion spoke "I owe you .. more then I care to owe anyone to be honest." At that he turned his head and looked to Thalion. The male had a serious look in his face, one that expressed his anger as well as his gratitude towards everything. So naturally Beltran took this chance for a little tease towards the male "Awww just dress up again as my slave for a day and we are even" He said with a little laugh as he looked at Thalions glare.

All the while this happened the female on the bed began to stir. It had been hours since the spell had ended though as time moved by more and more of Mizukis mind returned to him. Then it was one moment to the next before his eyes opened and wide. The sudden awareness made Mizuki sit upright in the bed with a gasp ending all conversation in the room. Turning scared eyes towards the two he looked to Thalion before Beltran.

Though the moment his eyes landed on Beltran they grew wider as shakey hands moved and pushed against the bed. Beltran took a step foward at the reaction "Mizuki...its okay" Though at that Mizuki screamed no loudly before he backed away though to far at that as there was a gasp then a grunt as he fell to the floor and off the bed. However he didnt get a chance to think as he backed up until his back hit the wall. All the while his eyes never left the figure of Beltran before him.

He did glare at the other's words of dressing up for him for one day. Not on his life. He might owe a debt but there was better ways to repay it then to do that again. It was a short lived glare and in a way he was glad that he had turned it into a bit of a joke really. Though he wasn't sure if he was actually joking about that request.

He was about to say something when the sudden gasp of air caught both of their attention as they saw Mizuki sitting upright in the bed. The look on the other's face read fear. Hell the link had all but returned and Thalion could feel the sudden fear and panic in Mizuki as he looked about the room a moment before seeing Beltran.

Mizuki moved suddenly and Beltran tried to say it was ok. Of course Mizuki didn't know any of this even happened... the last he saw of Beltran was probably when his father had done the spell or who knew what else. As far as Mizuki knew Bletran was just as bad as his father was. Though this didn't stop Mizuki as he screamed no loudly.

A moment after he had ended up on the floor and backed into a wall to get as much distance as possible from Beltran. It wasn't really a shock but Beltran seemed distressed by this as Thalion told him it might be better to wait outside of the room till things were more settled. Neimi had heard the scream having come back from a short break in her shift of keeping a eye on the recovering Mizuki. Though she paused just inside the room meeting Beltran on the way out.

Moving she left the room to keep the fae company as she saw his expression. At the least she could try to offer some words to help ease his mind. It wasn't his fault and he had done everything he possibly could.

Mizuki still kept his back to the wall never letting his eyes leave the doors where Bletran had left. This gave Thalion a moment as he moved over to Mizuki and knelt next to him. "Mizuki.. please love calm down." He started not sure if he should try to pull the other close or not with his he was acting. He had no idea how much of any of it Mizuki remembered but it seemed to be nothing recent that was certain.

"You are safe I promise.. you're home. But you have to calm down." This hurt more then anything being at such a cross roads as to wanting so badly to pull the other close to him but the way the body before him sat there trembling and frightened he wasn't sure if doing such a thing would help or not.

There was a number of emotions going through the link, the top ones were frightened and scared maybe terrified was a better word. The pain as well just everything rushed at once and Thalion had a headache from the sudden connection returning. But he tried to keep as calm as he could without forcing Mizuki to do anything let alone without causing the other more distress.

Till Mizuki calmed down he couldn't explain anything that had happened or why he was back home. Let alone that Beltran was the reason he was back home. He wanted Mizuki to know he was safe now, nothing and no one was going to hurt him. Though seeing the other like this the male they still had captive was going to find a new meaning of the word pain the next time he went to that room.

Mizuki was normally so strong so it was tough to watch as the mere image of Beltran sent fear ripping through his body and mind. As such he acted to it and got as much distance between himself and the male as he could. He didnt move from his spot even as Beltran gave him a hurt look and left the room. No he stayed where he was to the point that he didnt even notice Thalion moving until he heard the voice beside him though the words fell onto deaf ears.

Mizuki shook as he sat there. He didnt even realize that he had a spell cast until Thalion took the chance and touched a bent knee. That was when his hand shot forward and the hand that was touching him began to freeze "Dont...touch me" He said in a pained voice as the hand moved away. Though at this moment was when his brain began to clue into somethings that seemed to be around.

The first of such was his voice...when on earth had it ever been that light? Not to mention the fact that he couldnt fully bring his knees to his chest. That alone made him look down though as he did his eyes grew wide again and he jumped a little "What the-!" He began but his words were cut off as he noticed the difference in his body.

Muscles were still there and defined but slimmer on his arms and legs. Skin was the same color though his hair floated around him. Looking at his hands he noticed the long finely did finger nails. This was when he moved a little sideways away from Thalion "I..." He began but he stopped. Mizuki didnt know what to do or what to say...everything was getting to him and the moment of him being awake seemed to come to a close.

Shaking from the moment he woke he stayed that way even as his eyes dulled a little as his mind gave out. Though due to the fact of how he woke and the first thing he saw his body demanded to be on the deffence. So even though he was seemingly out cold where he sat the spell cast stayed on delicate hands as the male sat hunched passed out.

He breathed out a little knowing he half deserved that. He knew better. Heck he had thought about how Mizuki would react once he came to and he told hismelf that it would go like this. It would take time and a lot of it. He wasn't sure what the other knew or remembered but it didn't seem to be much.

In a way that was a good thing for him. A blessing almost if Mizuki didn't remember much of what happened. It wasn't good that he didn't know what happened but it wouldn't help them any if he remembered every detail of what he did or was commanded to do over the past four years. Never the less Thalion stayed by his side and waited to see what was going to happen or if he could even do anything at the moment to help.

Though a moment or so later Mizuki seemed to notice what had become of his normal form. It seemed to connect slowly that something was wrong but when it really did Mizuki spoke up confused before moving suddenly. Though Mizuki never finished either sentence as he seemed to pass out again. Well that was kind of expected in a way.

Beltran left after it seemed that Mizuki would have no part of the male being there. Though as much as everyone would have loved for things to go back to normal they hardly would be for a very long time. All the while Thalion kept his word on keeping the fallen king alive. He had to have some means to vent his frustration from day to day.

Over the course of four or so years nothing had changed. Mizuki was just as distant as the day that the spell was removed. It seemed to matter little what Thalion did or tried to do. It had gotten to the point where he gave up on being in the same room as Mizuki at times. Not because he didn't want to be around the other but because he had no idea what to do or say to help. He had done everything in his power to show Mizuki that things were ok now and that nothing else was going to happen.

To be honest he was at his wits end and all this time Mizuki had been unable to help lead the kingdom on top of it all. It was one thing after another and he wasn't sure how to fix any of it at the given time. He never bothered trying to tell Mizuki there was a way to fix his current form. Why bother when he couldn't even put a hand on the other let alone hug or kiss him. To think of something further then all of that was like a bad joke.

He had no idea where Mizuki was at the moment and to be honest with himself he wasn't sure he cared. Really he just wanted something to go right for once. The day the spell was removed he swore that things would start to get better and he wasn't sure if they hadn't gotten worse or not.

So for the time being he half hunched over at a table with a drink as he all but glared at it. Tempting.. tempting... he couldn't lie it was more then tempting to just see if he could get Mizuki drunk and see where it took things but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Hell he couldn't even force himself to drink the one sitting here.

"Whats wrong?" The voice was a familiar one as Luna walked over. He let out a heavy breath before laughing a little. "What isn't?" They still fought rather commonly but over the years there was a little understanding, it was a work in progress.

Though Luna seemed to decide to sit and see if she could get some entertainment from this as he went back to absentmindedly looking at the drink. "I suppose relationship advise is out of the question." That was random to come from Thalion. Though out of all the people she probably noticed things had gone no where. A few of them knew what had to be done for Mizuki to return back to his normal gender but Thalion said it was a waste of breath to bring it up.

"It's been over four years, it's nearly been five years and nothing has improved." He sighed a little before sitting up a bit. "Well go get the smart comment over with that look on your face says you have one."

The time ticked by and it was little that anyone could do to even get close to Mizuki at times. The male was to...sheltered in his own mind to realize that the people around him were those that he cared for and that cared for him. No nothing like that came to mind. All that did come to his mind was that he was not going to let anyone near him so he could feel that pain again and that meant even Thalion.

Over the time Mizuki began to grow use to the body he had though he began to notice that little by little Thalion pulled away until he hardly saw the male at times. This right there began to put thoughts into his head. Was it the fact that he was male that Thalion loved him? Ever since he realized that he was in a female body it was a thought that rested on his mind. It became the forefront of many dark thoughts as the days moved on.

Now almost five years had vanished in almost a blink of an eye and Mizuki seemed to of had no progress made. It was sad to those around him. Not only did he refuse touch from Thalion but the kids and others as well. He just couldnt bare the thought of being touched. Little did anyone know but as the times moved by and the more time he spent alone the more he began to think. Often he thought to hard but in the end it lead to him remembering something from the trip he had away from the kingdom with the faes.

By the time the fourth year came Mizuki remembered almost all of what took place. Everything from the beatings he got to what he was forced to do and the rapes...the countless rapes. That thought there was the one that didnt allow others to touch him. Why would he let them touch his filth? He was dirty and used and that was his only thinking and to a point where he pushed the one he loved away from him. As such Thalion ended moving rooms in the process to save grief...yet the action only darkened thoughts.

As such Mizuki normally spent his days alone in his room. Sitting either on the deck or window for countless hours just staring out watching the day pass by. Yes things would change but at the moment to many dark thoughts clouded a dark mind. Telling him he was unloved for many reasons and it only prooved more of a point as all left him to his thoughts.

Luna had been one of the only ones to try and get to Mizuki. She had spent hours with the newly found female though she had to admit she didnt like the new Mizuki. No in fact she wanted the male back so most of her time was spent talking with Mizuki. Or rather trying to get the male to talk. Luna did though get somethings here and there and seemed to make herself question some things. Not only that but question some motives from the males lover as well.

So this was where she found herself looking for the male. Luna did find him after some time sitting at the grand dinning table with a glass and a bottle. Though the bottle had one drink out of it and that was before the male not even touched."Whats wrong?" She asked with a tilt though as the male said his response she gave a sigh. How right that statement was at this moment. Even though Mizuki and Nytria was home both seemed to be recovering. Nytria had little moments here and there but nothing like Mizuki.

Moving Luna gave a little sigh as she pulled the chair out and sat down. Luna and Thalion never really were the close types. Well they were in their own way and over the years as much as she hated to admit it she began to care for the drow infront of her. Not just over the fact that he was her masters mate, no, it came to more then that though if she was asked people would die. This was the relationship they had, fighting, arguing with fast quips and mermers. Though if it came down to things Luna would lay her life down for Thalion and in a way she knew the male knew that.

Though her thoughts ended as Thalion spoke "I suppose relationship advise is out of the question." Luna smirked at that. He was really asking for advice on how to lay her master? That was funny. Thalion never did have the issue before though now was different. Even with those thoughts she knew what she was going to reply to him though that changed as he spoke again "It's been over four years, it's nearly been five years and nothing has improved."

Right there she could say something but the male continued about a smart comment. Well she wanst going to take one but if the male wanted it then she would give it "You dont try hard enough...this isent a spare Thalion" She said and right away the glare made her smile "But...in all reality..." She said after a moment. Right then Luna changed, she was not her normal self richious self. No she seemed sad but almost caring at the same time.

"Have...you even tried to just...talk with her?" Luna said as she tilted her head "Right now the thoughts running through his head is that hes used and broken" Luna said lightly "That no matter what he dose he will never be clean again" She said with a sigh as she looked down a little to her hands in before her "Talking her...Mizuki is broken in many ways Thalion...though he only breaks more each day you dont try" She said to him and at that Thalion looked to her.

"Yeah he will flinch and pull back but some times you need to try harder and not just give up the moment he dose so" She said with a little growl "He needs to know that even after everything with that bastard down to the gender means nothing to you..." Luna sighed. "Moving away from him, pulling back...it just adds to everything" Luna said lightly "Yet here you are..." She said standing "Alone just as he is" She said with a shake of her head before she turned to leave though stopped.

Luna had a point and she knew she did. As she stood there she debated over something that she had thought of for a long time. Because she poked and proded Mizuki she found things out that no one else knew. One of those things being just how much Mizuki remembered. She knew though that Mizuki remembered more then he let on even to her and what she had found out. She was almost positive that if Thalion tried he would find out more.

"You know what..." Luna began before she turned a little to look at the hunched over forum of Thalion "If I was you...I would talking to her and asking Mizuki exactly what she remembers" Luna said lightly "The answer might help heal something that is still breaking but not broken" Luna said as she turned again and left the male to his thoughts. Asking Mizuki would bring up painfull memories. Most of which would cause either a mouthed or a physical reaction. All starting with tears but all ending in the healing process.

He sat there and expected some smart comment, it did come in a way. He was about to say something else like that was not helping or something but Luna seemed to speak up again. This was where she started saying things that should be common sense. Though it was something that the two of them had said at one point that they needed to work on at the same time.

As she started pointing out the obvious he felt like a damned idiot for not trying hard enough. No he didn't have all the free time in the world because someone had to keep this place running. But he had been wasting what time he did have. Heck he had even given Mizuki more spare by leaving the room to the other. He knew better then to do that on a number of levels but he still had done it.

She went on a little bit and insisted that he try just talking. His ears went back at the idea of it. Every time he had tried Mizuki all but screamed at him. Even the times he stayed across the room and tried that way to get the other space. Though he knew Luna was right he shouldn't have pulled back as he did. Hell thinking on it all it was stupid to do so knowing how Mizuki was.

After Luna left he sat there a while before finally getting up. He didn't care about anything that had happened. Whatever Mizuki thought as far as him being unworthy to be around others or to be near them, he didn't care about that. Or the fact that Mizuki wasn't exactly himself anymore.. the one he had married that day was still there somewhere or so he hoped. Yet he had been letting that very person toil away on thoughts that weren't even true.

Walking down the hall and finally getting to the room he paused a little at the closed door. He knew he had to talk to the other but hell how or where did he even start? Let alone if he started crying... Mizuki had done that a number of times and he couldn't.. more like he wasn't allowed to do anything.

Breathing out finally he knocked once questioning if he was even awake. Though at no answer, not like he was expecting one, he opened the door and shut it behind him. Nope not asleep. Mizuki was sitting by one of the windows and glanced at him before going back to staring out.

Walking over he paused a little as Mizuki seemed to tense up after a certain point. For now he didn't go too much past that. For the sake that he should have been doing what he was going to try to do right now for the past five years. Mizuki never said a word so Thalion took this as his moment to get whatever he needed to say out before seeing what it lead to.

"You know I still love you right? Even if I've been a idiot for a while now about showing it." Idiot wasn't the right word but it was good enough. He should have been here the whole time and he hadn't. In a way he went back against his own word of not failing Mizuki again when he did.

"No matter what happened or what you think that'll never change." He needed to start somewhere. He could get to what the other remembered after something started just anything. He couldn't really remember the last time Mizuki spoke to him without utterly flipping out actually. Though he was half expecting it this time around no matter what he said.

Mizuki was in the room thinking to himself as the knock came to the door. Then Thalions voice reached through the door asking if he was sleeping. All the while he didnt turn his head. As Thalion opened the door and entered the room he turned to look at him once before looking back out and gazing at the same spot he had been for hours. It was not until he heard the footsteps of the male walk closer to him did he tense though.

Dipping down his ears he growled a little as they grew closer though that growl stopped as Thalion did. The silence that fallowed almost ate Mizukis heart. Something in him wanted the male to speak to say anything at all and he got his wish as he heard him start slowly "You know I still love you right? Even if I've been a idiot for a while now about showing it." Though those words sparked something in him and he hunched over more.

How could Thalion still love him? After everything that had happened he wouldnt blame anyone for not loving him. It pained his heart at the same time to think that Thalion still loved something so dirty. That thought alone brought shivers to his hunched spine. These only grew worse though as Thalion spoke again "No matter what happened or what you think that'll never change."

It would never change...those words seemed to stick in his head yet the only response he could come up with was calling the male a liar but as such he should point to himself with those words. Lightly his shoulders shook a little "How..." He said lightly "How could you..." He said "Im so dirty Thalion....and no matter how many times I bathe and scrub my skin raw..." He said as he hiccuped "I cant get clean" He said in a quivering voice as he curled up more.

"I try as hard as I can with everything I have to forget and move past what I did in those years..." He said before looking to Thalion. His eyes shed tears of sorrow and they bled with pain and anger "...what I suffered with...every night for four years..." He hissed with a shiver "I...I cant spread that filth" He said as he began to break and the tears began to flow again "You are to good for me Thalion...just...leave me behind like the broken toy I am" He hissed before his head fell to his knees as he he finally broke and every tear for the past nine years fell at once.

He was expecting the other to tell him to leave or to freak out on him. Like all the other times. But apparently he had said something right as Mizuki asked how. How could he still love him after everything. Even as the other went on explain why he should not love him Thalion wanted to ask how is that his fault.

It wasn't like Mizuki asked for what happened. It anything he himself was to blame for not being there. He still and probably always would wish he could go back to that night and be there. Hell switch places even just anything to keep this from happening.

Never the less Mizuki seemed to continue and say that Thalion was too good for him and that he should leave him like the broken toy he was. That was it though as soon after Mizuki started crying as he had done before. Though this told Thalion that Mizuki remembered quite a bit if not all of what happened. Not that it mattered if he remembered or not. Not remembering didn't make it not happen after all.

Though he wasn't going to just stand there this time as he came here with his mind made up that Luna was right and he had been retreated far too easily from all of this. After the hell he went through to bring Mizuki and Nytria back home safely.. he couldn't just turn his back on Mizuki because that was what the other seemed to want.

Though with Mizuki crying as he was meant he wasn't paying attention. sure Thalion was expecting some punishment for getting close let alone touching the other but he hardly cared at the moment. It was worth it or would be in the long run right. That was all that mattered.

Moving to where Mizuki was sitting on the bench built into the window sill he sat next to the other before pulling him close. "Never, and nothing you say will convince me to do so either.." He said before waiting a moment before shaking his head a little. "I love you Mizuki, no matter what. The only regret I have in all of this was that I wasn't there when you needed me."

Mizuki sat there in his own thoughts as he cried to himself curled up. He was so lost that he didnt even notice Thalion move over until the male sat beside him. The moment that happened he flinched and did try to move but it was to late as Thalion pulled him in a spoke. Mizuki however didnt hear anything really until Thalion stopped for a moment and spoke again "I love you Mizuki, no matter what. The only regret I have in all of this was that I wasn't there when you needed me."

Mizuki couldnt explain it but those words hurt more then anything. Those words brought up the thoughts that he had again on how long it took the male to find him let alone save him. This brought on a wave of emotions and Mizuki struggled a little in those arms "...Let go..." He said lightly at first though as those arms tightened he growled.

"Thalion let me go!" He said though even as his struggled grew the male didnt let him go. No infact he found himself moved from where he was to sitting in the males lap as the male held him there. "You cant save me!" He said as he started to thrash "I waited for that day...I waited four years for that day to come!"

As Mizuki spoke he cast his spell. Frosted ice cold hands grabbed the arms that were around him as he moved and tried to get away. Freezing on contact he cried as he tried to get away "Every day I waited!" He screamed "I waited for you to rescue me...to save me from that hell!" Mizuki screamed "Yet nothing changed!" He yelled.

Struggling his crying began to deepen "I wanted nothing more then for you to save me...to be there and hold me" He said "Every time that bastard touched me all I thought of was you...and yet that thought began to die..." He said as the struggles began to slow down "...then there you were..." He said "Like a good dream in the field of nightmares" Mizuki whispered as he stopped his movement completely.

"Then...that dream ended..." He said in a pained voice. This one showed all his emotion and pain he had felt from the first day of his capture "....after that I lost hope..." He said "Hope that you would rescue me left that day" He said as he all but now hung limply in Thalions iced arms "....I'm waiting to wake up again..." He said in a broken tone.

As soon as Mizuki said to let him go he didn't. If he backed off now it would take him a while to bother trying again seeing as he was pushed away no matter what he said. At the least he had gotten a few words out of the other this time around. That was more then what he got most of the time.

He hated holding the other when he clearly did not want it but he knew if he let go it wouldn't help things anything. He knew what was coming as Mizuki struggled and said what took him so long. Those words.. right there hurt more then anything else Mizuki could say. What took him so long, he had wasted every free moment of his time trying to find out where Nytria and Mizuki were. He didn't sleep trying to figure out if some bandits had them or some slaver camp. He had tried to think of everything while dealing with holding together a kingdom that was ready to split in two without the second king being there and on the brink of war with the fae invading.

He cringed a little feeling the spell make contact with his arms. Mizuki still screaming and trying to free himself. Saying he had waited four years. Saying it like Thalion had been sitting somewhere wasting his time as the other suffered. That was hardly the case, he had nearly killed himself trying to find the other until the day Beltran came along and said he knew where Mizuki was.

After Mizuki seemed to stop struggling was when Thalion's ears fell though he was still holding Mizuki no matter the pain that ripped through his arms from the ice spell. He shook his head a little before speaking. "I know I took too long.. and I can't change that. There is nothing I can do to change that. Everyday I wished that I could go back to that night and follow after you and Nytria. If I had been there things would have been different. Hell I don't know maybe I could have saved you both then."

He moved a little resting his head against Mizuki before going on. "I looked everywhere and there was no hints no clue on where you two were at or who took you. I did everything and prayed to any being who might listen to help in some damned way... Not that it did any good even when there was a war threatening to destroy this kingdom I still tried to find you."

Letting out a sharp breath he went on knowing it was probably on deaf ears but he had to say it. "After I found out where you were finally I did everything in my power to get you and Nytria out safely... if it were as easy as sending a army over and taking over a kingdom I would have. But it wasn't damn it... I couldn't do anything but watch and wait till I had a chance to get you both out safely. If I had tried to take you both or even one of you the other would have been killed. The fae knew who you and Nytria were."

Though the more he said it started to sound like excuses to him as he cringed a little still holding Mizuki against him. "That day you came to.. you remember it.. I wanted to do nothing other then to take you back home that day.. I couldn't and leave our son."

Even if he had taken them sooner he would have had to have gone back to get the king. Seeing as he was needed to remove the spell from Mizuki. Though it wouldn't have been a upper hand that they had at that time and it might have been the mistake of killing the fae lord and Mizuki would be no longer.

"If I could go back and switch places I would, there wouldn't be a second thought about it I would happily take your place as long as you both were safe. But I can't go back in time and do so and I keep failing you. Every damn time I turn around and try to make things right something else goes wrong." It was true. Nothing had gone right, Mytria recovering was about the only thing that had gone correctly. The Kingdom being rebuilt as well. Next to that everything else was still as screwed up as the day it happened.

He thought a moment over everything Mizuki had screamed at him before breathing a little. "Hate me if you want... i'd deserve it. You are right I took too long and this whole mess is my fault." If he had known sooner.. no it needed to be that he had taken Mizuki's place.

Mizuki sat there in Thalions arms and lap as the male spoke. First on how he looked everywhere for him and yet there was nothing to be found. Really Mizuki should of known that it would of taken the male time to find him. The trip to the harbor was a long one never mind adding the effects of the trip over seas. That alone added so much time and yet Mizuki still held it against the male. Well...kind of.

Though this was when the male began to speak on how once he was found that he did everything in his power to help the help the male and get him free. Though Mizuki didnt know if that was true. However at that thought something in the back of his mind told him that he was being stupid and that the words falling from Thalions lips were real and true. He knew deep down they were but he needed some kind of excuse for everything that happened right?

However Mizuki raised his head a little as Thalion spoke of the day he came to. Yes he remembered that day clearly. It was the day that he thought he was going to be freed of the cruel kings rule but he was wrong as the next time he awoke he was in the kings chambers chained how he was used to. At that moment was when the doubts began to set in his head about everything. He thought he had his freedom but it was taken before it was given.

However his thoughts changed as Thalion went on to say that Nytria would of been killed if Thalion took Mizuki at that time. Yes...he would of been. That thought right there made everything Mizuki thought of change. How could he of been so selfish? Yes he had tired what and when he could to get to his son the more he tried the more he failed and it got to him. That was another thing that ate at his heart the fact that he knew his son was in trouble and yet could do nothing to help him.

Mizuki was about to start his struggles again to free himself but he stopped as Thalion spoke up again saying that if he could switch them places he would of. This caused Mizuki to growl and shake his head. Since he couldnt get free of the arms he turned in them until he looked at the male. Lavender eyes were filled with pain and heartache as he looked to him and spoke "No" He said "Never wish something like that" Mizuki said shaking his head.

"I..." Though he paused a moment "I would never wish that upon anyone" He said with a shiver "Anything...everything..." He said "All of it" Mizuki sighed a little as he hung his head some "I...cant blame you and yet I have" He said broken "The one that I knew would do anything to protect me and here I am blaming you for nothing...." Mizukis whispered lightly "This was my fate..." Mizuki said "All the torturing and pain I caused for the years spent under the east king was repaid in full" He said lightly with a sad broken laugh.

That was how he thought of it. Karma was a bitch and no good deed goes unpunished at least that was his thinking. He paid his price for the lives he took and the people he hurt over the years and he did it all in the four the king had him. Two hundred years of pain felt in four...it was a wonder that he was still living. Though with that thought came another. The reason why he was still living was the male that still held onto him.

"The only thing.." Mizuki said as he moved his eyes and once again looked to Thalion "...that kept me alive for those years..." He said "Was the thought that one day I would once again be in your arms" Mizuki whispered to Thalion "Then..." He began "It didnt happen..." He cringed a little "You pulled away...and that...hurt more then anything that the king could of done" He said hanging his head fully. "I wanted to make the effort...to try and get better" He said lightly "Its hard...to do it alone" He spoke in a barely there whisper.

This was when Mizuki moved a little and if he was forced to stay within the males arms then he was at least going to be there in a way he could handle. Moving he sat himself sideways in Thalions arms before placing his head on the males shoulder hidden in his neck. With pale smaller hands curling up Mizuki curled into Thalions chest and for the first time in almost nine years he felt safe.

He did wish it though. To keep Mizuki and Nytria safe it seemed worth it to him. Though Mizuki said it wasn't and he would never wish it on anyone. He might not but Thalion would rather it had happened to him then to Mizuki. All of this time he had been working to help Nytria and he had tried to help Mizuki but it seemed to do little good. Even now he wasn't sure all of this was doing much good.

Though after that Mizuki spoke up that he deserved it. This made Thalion disagree. "If this was your fate I sure as hell hate to see mine when it comes due." Though he still never believed in fate and things having to be paid up as Mziuki did. If going off of this then he was going to have dues at some point or another. His blades alone had killed enough, karma didn't take into account of who's cause was just or not.

Though as Mizuki kept speaking about the only thing that had kept him going all this time. That was what hurt the most. He knew he had tried his best to get to the other but he still felt like he had failed as he didn't get there in time to prevent anything. Sure Mizuki was safe now but he wasn't sure if things would ever be back to how they were. Let alone he had pulled back from the other. He had left him alone even when he was here and safe from everything... when he should have been at his side.

After that night things did progress slowly. Months still passed but things did sort of progress to where Mizuki was being a little social. At the least was walking around the castle and not staying locked away in the room. Though things were still hardly on steady grounds.

Though this was about eight months down from that first talk they had. At the least Mizuki didn't cringe, well all of the time, when someone got close to him. Though by this time the two were just starting to even come close to acting like couple again. Though it still seemed like a distant relationship as Mizuki would still dwell heavily on the past that was burned in his mind.

By now Thalion said enough was enough. There was a constant reminder to Mizuki everyday with the body he had. He had mentioned the idea to the other on how to fix it and Mizuki had said he wanted it to be fixed but to say the least nothing came of that conversation as Mizuki was still far from ready for anything like that. Thalion wasn't trying to rush the other either.

Though tonight he had plans. Mizuki still wasn't to the point where he was doing the work he use to do, but that was fine by Thalion. Less he had to worry about as far as where the other would be. No today had been a fairly good day, he was already done with the captive male that was still being kept alive. Luna and Ryza agreed to deal with take care of anything in the later hours that Belquiri couldn't handle.

No tonight he had plans. Once more that date came around to make when they first got married. Even if Mizuki wasn't his normal self and things could still improve he was going to at least show that the date still meant something to him no matter what. Hell even if through everything Mizuki never returned to his old self he was still the same person he married back then.

He had it all planned out. Considering things he was pretty sure he had topped that stunt Mizuki had pulled that one night. Ok maybe not but he was trying and he wasn't even sure that Mizuki was going to go for any of this. Now it was down to getting Mizuki and getting him to trust him long enough to pull this off.

Seeing as it was getting to be the evening hours he knew Mizuki would be heading back to the room. It was like clockwork almost that the male would come back to the room to take that overly long bath he always took. Though he did cheat a little with Belquiri's help on getting a mixture together to help relax Mizuki. Not really for any reason but just to keep the other from maybe having one of his random moments where he would freak out.

Not only that she was so excited that she made it smell good and everything. Something that was useful and had a good smell.. yeah that was what Belquiri normally tried to do, or make potions taste good one or the other. Either way the bath was already prepared and he had gone a bit out of the way to pull this one off actually. The water being prepared already with a few rose petals in the water, though it was their color that was odd or rare rather. The rose petals were lavender in color, one of the rarest rose breeds and he had pulled a number of strings to find some just to tonight.

Though the bath was all Mizuki he knew how the other still felt about removing any clothing even in front of him. They might sleep together at night but it was mostly clothed. Not that he would be too far if Mizuki needed him.. or wanted company either or.

After the bath the plan was dinner, and in hopes that Mizuki's taste in food didn't change over the years. At the least not too much anyway. After dinner the plan was just some form of time together. Ok the real plan was trying to pull off a massage. But it didn't have to be without clothes or anything. If all went well he would settle with one night of Mizuki not breaking down . That would be a step forward to him compared to everything else.

It had taken Mizuki some time to open up to those around him. He did find himself flinching though at times as another got to near to quick though that was only to be expected. After everything that had happened he thought that he was making things work out in the time that he had. He was shocked though when he realized just how many people cared for him. All of his family and friends stood beside him even as he had his moments where he freaked out.

Time would heal everything at least that was his thoughts. It proved to be right over time though as he became better. Though as it was time ticked on and now eight months had passed since the first talk the couple had. From that time Mizuki began to pick up work again around the kingdom though not the amount he used to. Still it helped in the long run as everyone pulled together.

Mizuki sighed as he cracked his neck and finished the work before him. Placing the papers in neat pile he stood before leaving his study. Walking down the halls Mizuki nodded a head to those that greeted him. He was still shocked at how many of the people within the castle looked past the change of gender. He had heard from Thalion as well as others on how he needed to reverse it and even though he wanted nothing more then to be himself he didnt see something like that happening any time soon.

At least those were his thoughts as he headed for his chambers. Every night since the talk he had with Thalion Mizuki began a pattern of things to do. He would go out and work the day then he would go back to the room where he would bathe. Often for hours on end as he tried to scrub the memory of the male out of his mind and skin. Though as hard as he tried it never seemed to work.

Sighing as he reached the room Mizuki reached a pale hand out as he opened the door. Walking into the room he closed the door behind him though as he didnt see Thalion he frowned. Usually the male was waiting for him at this time and with the day being what it was he was hoping to see Thalion. Mizuki was not stupid he knew what day it was and there was nothing more that he wanted then to jsut be with Thalion during it. He was about to frown and head on with what he had planned for himself before he heard a noise from the bathroom.

"Thalion?" He asked to nothing as he rounded the corner and entered the bathroom. That is when he was met with Thalion. The male stood there in a steam filled room with a single rose in his hand. Though it was the color that made him gasp a little. Lavender roses were hard if not impossible to find let alone in this area. Taking a step forward Mizuki gave a soft smile "You remembered..." He said softly as he stepped towards Thalion.

Mizuki wanted this day to be nothing but them. Well the evening anyways. So that was what he was going to do if he had a say in it. This meant that he would also push back any fear that he had and just trust and accept everything that would happen...to an extent anyways. Closing the distance between them he reached out as Thalion did and took the rose from the males hands. Smiling lightly he smelt it with closed eyes before looking to Thalion.

"Thank you..." He said softly before leaning up and giving a small almost shy kiss to those dark lips before pulling back. This was when Mizuki noticed the bath water and the petals that floated ontop of the water. Bending a little he reached a hand out and touched the water. It was nice and hot and seemed like it was just done. Smiling he stood again and looked to Thalion "You...didnt have to do any of this you know" He said lightly "Just time with you would of been enough" He said lightly with a smile.

Though as Thalion went on saying he wanted to do everything and more Mizuki shook his head a little "Then I have no choice but to accept it now do I?" He asked with a little tilt of his head. This was when Mizuki moved and placed the rose off to the side. Undoing his hair Mizuki hummed lightly to himself as he removed first the pants he wore then the first layer of his robes. Though as he reached for the second he paused a moment.

It had been a long time since Thalion saw him nakid and the last time he didnt look the way he did. Mizuki feared that if Thalion saw him fully in this light things would change. Turning he looked to Thalion "Do...you love all that is me?" He asked the male though as Thalion went on saying how he couldnt Mizuki smiled softly to himself. Well it was now or never. That was his thinking as he took a deep breath and removed the last layer of clothing.

He was greatfull for the long hair at this moment as it fell around and covered alot of his exposed skin. Moving he walked past Thalion though couldnt help as he gave a light brush of his hand along the males arm. He didnt look to Thalion though as he knew the deep red blush that was on his cheeks covered most of the pale skin as he moved and headed into the water. Sitting down he sighed as he smelt the herbs in the water. Laying his head back onto the edge of the tub he opened lavender eyes and looked to Thalion "I...do love you Thalion" He said softly.

Actually tonight he had nothing really planned besides a few simple things. The rare flowers he had been working on getting a hold of for years. It was in the last month or so that he found somewhere that seemed able to grow them. With Mizuki starting to go back to working on things it kept him busy so it made keeping any plans he had for tonight a secret. Not that Mizuki didn't have enough on his mind as it was. So really he didn't even bother hiding things, if he had it probably would have tipped it off more.

Though as Mizuki spoke he remember Thalion smirked a little. "I remember every year, I just never get the chance to act on it.." It was true. Sadly it was very true. Most of the time being too busy or the more recent years... He didn't want to think about any of it. It was part of their past that they had to live with and he was going to try to make Mizuki look forward to things again. Sure the one before him had improved but it was still far from being the same Mizuki he knew all of these years.

Things might never return to that way but he would live as long as he knew the other was happy in some way. Though as Mizuki kissed him lightly and pulled back after he watched the other for a moment before Mizuki seemed to speak again. "What I didn't have to do and what I wanted to do are different things. Besides you keep worrying yourself with work that needs to be done and we've gone back to hardly seeing each other again." Mizuki was going to have his time that was for sure.

Probably whenever Mizuki set up things like this he threatened a little but not like Thalion had done. No he said if anything bothered him or Mizuki tonight whoever that person was would wish they were never born. Ok it was a bit more colorful then that but none the less he was pretty sure he had made the point rather clear. Besides that things were rather peaceful at the moment so nothing should just come up out of the blue.

"No you don't. You need some time to just relax too you know." After everything Mizuki more then needed it. Though this was when he was about to say he was going to leave him to his bath. He had gotten use to that by now, pretty much leaving the room whenever Mizuki was dressing or undressing. This seemed to help keep Mizuki calm instead of him tensing up.

Though Mizuki seemed to stop him as he asked a question about the time he was going to turn and leave. Well that was a odd question. "How could I not?" Though he didn't leave it at that. "You are still the same person I fell in love with and married. I keep telling you this." It was true he always reminded the other that no matter what he loved and always would love Mizuki. Even with the doubts in his mind that things would ever return to being normal let alone what if the spell didn't break after all was said and done. None of the mattered as long as he knew Mizuki was safe.

Though the next actions from Mizuki was not something he was expecting as the other seemed to undress right there. Honestly he wasn't sure what he should be thinking. It had been so long when he had last seen the other exposed like this, plus the changed form. He didn't want to say anything fearing that he would insult the other saying any comments about how he looked now. What his hair didn't cover was a few spots that reminded him that through it all this was still Mizuki no matter what form he was in. A few scars that had been placed on the body by himself, they were still there. Reminders of everything that they had gone through before this. Things would get better.

Though the slight daze of thoughts he had was broken as he felt the light hand against his arm as the other walked past before getting in the water. Though any thoughts of leaving were out the window by now as Mizuki laid back in the tub before looking over to him and speaking. He nodded a little with slight smile. "I know.." It had been a while when he last heard those words too. Even as things progressed and got better they were said from the other too few and far between.

Moving finally he sat on the edge of the tub before looking down into those eyes that he loved so much. "Is it wrong to say you are still beautiful to me?" He hoped not, in his mind it was still Mizuki no matter how the figure looked, deep down it was still the same person. Though Mizuki seemed to answer no, even if it was a hesitated one. That was good because it was true, a few times Mizuki had gotten in a way saying Thalion hated him now because he was female. Hardly the case when in his eyes Mizuki was still Mizuki, no matter the gender he was still attracted to the one before him and loved Mizuki all the same.

The bath was a long one, or asking Thalion it was. Though Mizuki always took long ones so that was nothing new. After a little bit though Thalion ended up helping the other and washing Mizuki's hair. Even after the bath he kept to pampering the other and brushed Mizuki's hair. It was odd actually, for how Thalion acted you would never think he would be good at simple things like this or the minor details he seemed to retain. But actually he was good at this. Though he didn't bother with braiding Mizuki's hair. He knew how after watching the other for so many years but his expect was he never got to see it down anymore and it was just going to be the two of them anyway.

This in turn lead to the small dinner he had planned out. Nothing complicated but that was because he ha d second guessed if Mizuki even liked the same things from before. Either way it was nice to just sit with the other and talk for a change. Let alone a relaxed talk, one where he wasn't expecting Mizuki to freak out at any moment. He always knew when the other was about to due to the link that they shared but for now things seemed to be more then peaceful.

After dinner was when Thalion said he had a request. Mizuki seemed to tense as Thalion smiled a little. He wasn't going to ask that, he knew what Mizuki was thinking. No he waved off the sudden tense feeling from Mizuki as he got the other to go to the bed. "I just wanted you to lay down, you can leave your clothes on if you want even." After thinking a moment Mizuki seemed to comply and he laid down on his stomach on the bed as Thalion had asked him to do.

He didn't go over the top like Mizuki had done before with the special oil but Thalion was pretty sure that the other was just going to leave his clothes on anyway. None the less he started rubbing Mizuki's neck and working down to the lower back area before repeating this process slowly a few times. Steady hands worked through each motions. Not applying too much pressure as he felt Mizuki relax a little more after starting.

Sure it would be easier to do without the fabric in the way but he wasn't going to say anything. After a little while he noticed Mizuki seemed to shift a little getting more comfy then the position he was in previous. Though this exposed the side of the other's neck a little more as Thalion moved a little daring to do this and being hopeful that Mizuki was relaxed enough not to freak out.

Kissing the side of the exposed neck lightly before he spoke softly near the other's ear. "You can go to sleep if you want, I know you haven't been sleeping well." The other woke up at least once a night if not more. He knew this because over the past months they had gone back to sleeping together in the same room. Mizuki would wake up half screaming or in a cold swear and Thalion would end up being woken by this as well before pulling the other close and getting him to calm down as best as he could.

Besides that he could see that Mizuki seemed to barely have his eyes open as it was as the movements continued. This was the plan really, he wanted the other to get some rest. Even a few hours of relaxed rest was better then nothing. Plus he had enjoyed everything tonight. It had been a long time when Mizuki seemed to just be content and not have a hint of fear or worry on his face.

Mizuki smiled and moved his head lightly as he watched Thalion move over and join him by sitting on the edge of the bath tub. Though the light dust of a blush on his cheeks only grew more as Thalion spoke "Is it wrong to say you are still beautiful to me?" Those words caught him off guard but non the less he looked down a little "No..." He said lightly. It wasnt in fact it was something that Mizuki had wanted to hear from Thalion since this whole thing happened.

The bath was nice and long and Mizuki only left the water because it grew cold. Dressing he was led into the room as Thalion sat him down before taking the brush and starting to dress the damp locks. Sighing a little Mizuki closed his eyes as he felt the gentle motion of this dark fingers weaving through his hair as the brush fallowed in its wake. It was so soothing and yet it was such a simple action.

After that it was time for supper and even though it was simple Mizuki loved it all. The setting was great and the soft words about nothing was perfect. Everything was going so great though his mind stopped working a little as Thalion spoke again. First he had a request and Mizuki paused a moment as he tensed a little. Though as Thalion further explained he decided to agree with the males terms and he laid down on the bed.

This was when he felt his long hair brushed and moved to the side off of his back and neck. Then those dark hands lightly rubbed into sore muscles of the neck before working down the beck then continuing this for awhile. Mizuki was in heaven. It felt so good the simple actions that Thalion did that he didnt even notice the fact that he would let out little moans or gasps as a sore spot was rubbed out.

Though as Thalion continued on there was one spot that he always seemed to miss. So taking it upon himself Mizuki moved a little so the next spot those hands hit was the one he wanted but in doing so the smaller robes slid off of pale shoulders showing his neck and shoulders to rest part way down an upper back.

This was when he felt those dark lips on his neck and even though he tensed a little he didnt move. Part of him screamed that he needed to get away from what was going to happen then another part told him no. That this was not the bastard that seemed to rule him for years. This was Thalion the man he loved and married. The male that had fought for his hand all those years ago. These were his thoughts until he felt hot breath on his ear as the male spoke "You can go to sleep if you want, I know you haven't been sleeping well."

It was true Mizuki really didnt sleep well. It was the same night horror that came back to him time and time again and it was always the same thing. The first night the king took his him. So least to say when Thalion tried to calm him it took some time to do so. This however was when a different thought came to his mind. He could sleep yes but over the last few months thoughts had reached his dark mind. Things needed to change. Even if that meant he had to leave his newly built comfort zone.

Slowly and almost shyly Mizuki turned. Laying on his back Mizuki looked up to Thalion as the male leaned over him from the side. Moving Mizuki leaned up on his arms as he looked right into Thalions eyes. This was when he saw all the love and passion the male had all thrown together with a hint of lust. This caused his ears to dip a little and the blush on his cheeks return. Raising a hand he reached it towards Thalions face but stopped part way.

Part of him wanted to coil that hand back and shy away though another part told him it was what he wanted. It was true... it was what he wanted. With that thought the hand continued until it rested on a dark cheek. Pale fingers lightly rubbed there until with a light motion it brought Thalion to him. He was glad that the slight pull was all that was needed as the male leaned on one arm as he got closer.

Leaning in Mizuki paused a moment before he brushed pale lips against Thalions darker ones. Pulling back a little he looked at those ember orbs "I..." He began but paused a moment thinking how to say what he had wanted to say "I...dont want to remember him any more" He said lightly never moving his eyes from those infront of his "...help me forget?" He asked lightly as the hand on Thalions cheek moved in a little rub.

It was daring of Mizuki to ask this and he knew that some things he would flinch at or it would take some time to happen but he wanted it to happen. He no longer wanted to think of the male that violated him so deeply. He wanted to replace that memory and get rid of it. This was the first step in doing that if Thalion would help.

Tonight he had no plans or intentions with the other. The only real thought was that he wanted Mizuki to relax. Even with things getting better Mizuki still have a number of moments where he seemed to recoil. Not that Thalion wasn't making the bastard whos fault this was pay for it. not that it fixed anything but it was good to know he would not be hurting anyone else and that Thalion was damned good at his job of keeping the male alive and in a almost constant state of pain and suffering.

No tonight he had planned it all around Mizuki to try and get the other to relax. Maybe to see even a hint that things really would be ok in the long run of things. Though what he got was more then he could have asked form. Even with just starting from the little things at the bath he could tell Mizuki was at the least content and not thinking about anything that had happened in the past.

Though everything seemed to boil down to the light massage in the bed. He figured that he'd just keep going till the other was asleep. Though as things went on he did catch the light noises coming from the other. Probably not intentional but still he wasn't going to complain or say anything to ruin this. Even as Mizuki moved giving him a hint that he was missing a spot he never faulted in his actions.

Though what did cause him to pause was when Mizuki moved again and was laying on his back looking up at him. He wasn't sure if he ha done something wrong with the kiss or not. It didn't seem like it not according to what he could tell anyway. No Mizuki still seemed to be pretty relaxed though something on his mind.

No for the moment he let Mizuki do whatever he wanted even as the other seemed to shift a little again and paused in moving a hand for a second before it finally came to rest on his cheek. At the least that eased any sudden worry he took something too far. Though the words that followed the kiss was not anything that he was expecting.

He stayed where he was for a moment watching the other almost debating if he was just saying that to get it over with already or if he meant it. Thalion never pushed Mizuki as far as what needed to be done. He knew it would take time and he was going to give the other all of the time he needed. Though here Mizuki was asking him to help him forget. Yet he was the one hesitating now with not wanting to hurt the other.

Moving a little he pressed his cheek against the hand still there before putting a hand over it to keep it there. "Are you sure?" He had to ask it, if Mizuki wasn't sure and they started or went through with it and the other blamed him.. he wasn't sure how he would take it. He had waited for Mizuki to come out with it so he knew for sure the other was ready.

Mizuki seemed to nod before saying he wanted to forget. Thalion couldn't really say no, not when Mizuki seemed to want this to happen. Not to say he didn't but he had gotten use to waiting and he had a number of worries that even with the other saying it was ok or he was ready to move on. He could see this backfiring and they would be back to square one again.

After he was sure that Mizuki was positive he finally gave in to agreeing. Not because he didn't want the other but because he didn't want to hurt the other or have things go back to how they were before just when they were working out. even with the other agreeing to it he had made his mind up and told Mizuki this as well that if he wanted to stop at any time to say so. It would have sucked of course but it was the better option then to force things.

None the less things slowly and by slowly it was very slowly progressed from there. For the first time in years they were both laying together without clothes and in each other's arms. For the moment Thalion was still trying to calm his breathing as he held Mizuki close. A number of times he thought the other was going to ask him to stop but it never came. Even a few times he asked out loud if Mizuki wanted him to stop.

He had taken his time with everything to make sure the other had the chance to pull back if he wanted. Not only that bu the had missed just touching the other and seeing the pale skin exposed as the soft noises escaped parted lips. He had not planned this for tonight but he was glad in a way it happened. Though now all he could do was hold Mizuki close and hope that things weren't going to recoil back to how they were.