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Granted, but now everyone you say,"I wish," a puppy cries.

I wish my phone had more battery life.

Granted, but your battery gains so much life that it develops a life of its own and doesn't approve with how you use your phone, and rebels against you to overthrow the bourgeois humans.

I wish for...heated floors!

Granted but now the floors are so hot the bottoms of your feet melt off if you walk on them.

I wish I didn't have to pay for the electricity in my apartment.

Granted, you didn't pay, now your electricity has turned off.

I wish I can find a friggin' play that I can go see that fits in my schedule and budget and then attend said play.

Granted, but it's 'Our American Cousin', and through the power of Corrupt a Wish, the version you see is the most famous production...from 1865.

I wish for brownies from Domino's!

Your wish is granted, Salone. Unfortunately, you've developed a severe intolerance to chocolate. Even the smell makes you nauseous! Sorry, my friend.

I wish for a night sky that could gaze back at me. :)

Granted, but you are in a tiny box, your life span is 5 hours, and you're likely to be eaten at that time by a cat.

I wish I had a puppy.

Granted, but because you smothered the puppy it ran away to Puppywood where it will become a famous movie star and talk show host. He also has a restraining order on you and your also no longer allowed in the state of Kansas for some reason.

I wish Gaia Online will go bankrupt and close down.

Granyed, but when it goes bankrupt, it takes all other avi sites with it because, as it turns oit, Gaia Online ones every avi site ever created.

I wish I had an xbox.

Granted, but you get a large cardboard box containing every person you've ever dated.

You know, an Ex-Box.

I wish I had unlimited quarters!

Granted, but you needed to do use a infinite washing machine that requires an infinite amount of quarters to operate once.

I wish for pie that tastes like a cake when I eat it.

Granted, but since the cake is a lie so is the pie and in fact it was all a lie. Sorry.
I wish for everlasting intelligence.

Granted, but you will be with someone, for as long as you live, who has everlasting dumbness.

I wish for eternal happiness.

sounds like my life already woot!
Granted, but you also must live with eternally never getting full from food.
I wish for better asian all you can eat buffets around my town

Granted, but all of the meat will come from children.

I wish for good food all the time!

Granted, but you will never be able to eat any of it.
I wish for humankind to be able to see more colors.