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I just leave when I am not happy in a relationship, because I know cheating makes me feel so badly about myself. It feels like I have let myself down and its not worth that feeling for me.

It doesnt make me feel bad about myself. It does make me feel kind of guilty if my so cries. Thats about it. I have a hard time with feelings. I domt feel them like normal people do. The only thing that comes easily is anger and lust.

I feel the feelings of others, I'm quite empathetic, so I feel badly about what I might have done, then I feel badly because they feel badly. I have worked really hard to have healthy emotions, and I have made great strides in that regard.

Thats great that you are doing well emotionally.
I have a lot of work to do in that regards. I hope some day I can feel normal emotions like a normal person.

I have used Buddhist tenets to help me deal with my emotions. I found the book, Anger by Thich Nhat Hanh a very good start in my quest for mindfulness.

A have a book by Thich Nhat Hanh on the basics of Buddhism. That sounds like a book I could really use. Thats basically the only thing I feel. If something funny happens or I have a nice moment with the kids, or feel sexual desire for woman, those are the only times I feel something else. Those feelings only last for probably 15, 20 minutes, except the sexual desire, which will last until I do something about it.
It kind of sucks always being angry.

My father was a very angry man It was hard living with him, because he would explode for any and every reason. Not to be all Psychology 101 but everything I have ever read says that anger is actually fear, frustration, pain. That is how I dealt with mine. But any book by Thich Nhat Hanh would be helpful.

Well, I have a lot of pain and frustration from the past. I dont fear much though unless I dont take my schizophrenia meds, then I'm paranoid and afraid of almost everything.
I bet its hard for my kids to live with me as well for that reason. I explode alot and even if its not at them, I imagine that it bothers them just as much.

I'll have to dig out that book by him. I have 5 or 6 different places in the house where I keep books, so it might take me a bit to find it.

I really recommend his books, and I totally recommend Buddhism tenets in order to be mindful (which just means to live in the moment, no thoughts of past or future, just being present) There is also a book that helped me with that called The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.

I know what mindfulness is. I've studied Buddhism plus was forced to do dumb ass DBT 4 times that did absolutely nothing but aggravate me.
I'll check that out.

I hope you can get all that sorted out.
You deserve to have a happy life <3

Thanks. Sorry, I dont mean to come off grouchy. I'm not.

How are you doing?

Its okay, sometimes I tend to drone on and assume people don't know what I know. It comes from a place of helping, not a place of judgment.

I do not have a migraine tonight so I am happy! Last night I had one and did not sleep well. I find heat helps to calm my migraines down.

Its okay, I knew it was for helping purposes, not that you were being judgmental.

Yay! Thats interesting that the heat calms your migranes. I get migranes galore in the summer due to heat.

Sorry for such late reply. McPreggers had a craving,

I know everyone is so shocked that moist heat helps my migraines!
It took a longtime to get them under control because heat was the only thing NOT recommended!

McPreggers' cravings must be attended to first!!! hahaha

Heyo, I just noticed the Hindi in your signature :o