Log In

Granted, but you become blind from its magnificence.

I wish for more oars.

Granted but now all you have is oars.

I wish I was still sleeping

granted, but the sleep is eternal

i wish i could cook the perfect souffle

Granted, but it's gonna cost 100k!!

I wish my nipple didn't hurt

granted but now your butt does

i wish my computer had faster processors

Granted, but now the keyboard only lets you type Qs

I wish I didn't have to do these training videos.

Granted, but now you're thrown to the wolves without any idea what the heck you're doing.

I wish these nicotine patches were stickier.

Granted, but now they're so sticky that they never come off.

I wish it was time to clock out and go home.

Granted, but since you clocked out earlier you receive less money!

I wish my hormones didn't want to kill me.

Granted, but now your hormones make you want to kill other people. (That might already happen though, I dunno)

I wish I could dye my hair green.

Whoops, granted, but it ends up dyeing everything green. Permanently. (On the bright side, literal green thumb.)

I wish I had even more varieties of tea at home.

Granted, but now you won't ever drink pure water again, only tea!!

I wish I didn't have to take the trash tomorrow.

Pfft, you think that's a problem? I loathe drinking plain water.

Granted. Buuuut the smell lingers. And lingers. And lingers yet. You cannot rid the house of the trash odor.

I wish I didn't have an artists' block.

Never again will writer's block bother you, but you must include obnoxiously obvious product placement for Coca-Cola in everything you write.

I wish my back didn't hurt.

Granted, but now you have no back, you just slither way like a snake! A rainbow snake!!


I wish the doctor was free tomorrow and not a week away <.<

Granted, but you must wait in the waiting room for several hours with nothing but old magazines for entertainment.

I wish I could just teleport home tomorrow.