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hoo boi
shit's about to go dooooooooooooooooooooooownnnnnnnnnnn

Tomorrow is Mother's Day. If anyone tries to tell me I should be grateful for the woman being in my life, I will either unfriend them or tell them to fuck off. She plays favorites, and physically and emotionally abused me as a child. She let me down when I needed someone in my corner to advocate for me. all she cared about was her public and professional image, and fuck the fact that her crotch goblin was being a fucking abusive asshole. She damaged my personal property and never apologized for it, only blamed me for what happened. She didn't even come to my Job Corps graduation, when I was graduating on Honor Four, the highest level of achievement in that program. That is the equivalent of making the Dean's List at a four-year college or university.

I will never understand why she chose to play favorites, after she and dad chose to adopt me.

when u see an elder female eatin alone in a restaurant
my hart
my soul
feelsbadman

my mother died December 29th (and was in a small bathroom with a small space heater running) and wasnt found until roughly 36 hours later. She was already starting to decay when her body was finally removed.

She passed unexpectedly, and it still hurts. She wasn't the best mom... She was dramatic, and ran away a lot... but she was mine... And I miss her.

i feel bad and am tired of actin like i'm not broken. found out going to the gym is a nice way to escape...may go there just for that and officially become an isolated sonofabitch

nobody i associate with seems too worried anyways *shrug*

LORD GIVE ME STRENGTH TO CURB MY FAT A$$

SOMEONE PLAY THE HOOK FOR KENDRICK LAMARS HUMBLE FOR ME EVERYTIME I TRY TO OPEN THE FRIDGE

realized I can't not be with you
or be just your friend
I love you to death but I just can't
I just can't pretend
we were lovers first
confidants but never friends
were we ever friends?

IM GONNA BE SO SAD IF I"VE BEEN DOING SITUPS WRONG THIS WHOLE TIME
AFTER A MONTH IN, WHEN IM ABLE TO VISUALLY SEE MY PROGRESS
WHAT IF I GET JIGSAW PUZZLE ABS

secret, secret, i got a secret~

It seems no matter what I do, these feelings keep coming back. Whether it takes a year, a month, or however long, they still come back. I shouldn't be feeling this way at all. But if I'm honest with myself, I don't think my current relationship is really going anywhere. But we could just be going through a rough patch, and perhaps things will get better. But if these old feelings for someone I still seem to have keep reminding me that they're there, I'm gonna be driven up the wall.

For now, I'm not going to act on anything until I can see a clear path. I've been through this before, but it seems I never learn. And sometimes I feel I'll never know the true meaning of love. But whatever.