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I'll go first with a question.


How can I keep from falling off my bed?

Duct Tape yourself to the bed.

There's a bee in my car, what should I do?

Trap it in your car and play some jazz. XD

What can I use instead of a band-aid to cover this papercut?

Tattoo your study material to your arms.

I'm on the wrong plane, what do I do?

Jump out and hope you'll land in a body of water!
How does one stop a haunting, asking for a friend?

Turn on your vacuum cleaner and as many lights as possible then remove your pants. This will confuse the ghost hopefully getting it to stop.

How can I be better at bowling?

After your first throw instead of grabbing a second ball just march forward on the alley and manually knock over every pin that still stands. Be sure to jump over the photoelectric barrier at the beginning, or else the computer might not count your score properly.

How can I get a Finnish library card?

Get a normal library card and throw a lavish and crazy awesome Christmas party. In the morning, your library card will then be Finnish.

What's the best way to ask for a raise?

Just ask for a packet of sildenafil. It has been proven to raise other things after all. Caution: only put it on top of your money, keep far from your bills.

What's the most important skill to write in one's resume?

By far the most important skill to include would be "critiquing".

What shoes should I wear to go on a short hike?

Well, you can try burying it, trashing it, or burning it!

What's a good way to get rid of acne?

:) Easy one. Just remove all of the skin from your face. No skin. No acne.
Problem solved. xD

How can I make sure no bugs get into my room at night?

Use bugspray as body lotion. Not sure about health implications, but no more bugs!!

How can I sleep early?

The best way to sleep early is to drink early. Hangover symptoms may occur upon waking however.

When is a good time to ask someone on a date?