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Blink a bunch. Only lazy people keep their eyes open all the time. They're too lazy to blink.

Where can I hide from all the salespeople?

with the cashiers. Have you ever seen them selling something to a cashier


How do I wake up early tomorrow?

Tomorrow begins at midnight, so, go to sleep and wake up at midnight! You'll be earlier than anyone else.

What do I do if I'm at a wedding?

Do the chicken dance.

How do I stop myself from getting carpal tunnel syndrome?

Get carpal tunnel syndrome and then perform a banishing ritual with butter and holy oils to get rid of it and that's how you stop yourself from getting it.

Where can I get some pizza without crust?

from the shark.

how do i get a milkshake to not be spoiled?

Raise your milkshake with much care and discipline, and teach it humility from ice-cream-hood. And don't lavish the milkshake with too much rewarding material wealth and goodies. No means no. And don't give into tantrums.

How do I make cereal properly?

You just pour the cereal into a bowl. No milk. Eat it dry. Or put it in the toaster.

How do I use a toaster?

You put something in it to test it, like chips, and then turn the knob all the way on. When you pull the lever, it'll start toasting something, but you have to make sure it's plugged into a very oily and grimy socket, so it can toast evenly.

Who can I ask to help with my homework?

Google.

how do i write?

Use the Dictation feature on Word and you'll never have to write. x} You speak and it just writes what it thinks you're saying, it's awesome!

Where can I get chicken for dinner?

From a cow.

How do I remove boob?

Use boob poison. :]

How do I keep from spending so much of my money?

Get someone else to spend your money.

How do I tell my cats they're loved?

:} Bark at them. They might get the message if you say it in dog language.

x} How to I hide a fart?

Say that someone else did it.

How do I git gud at math?