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heavy mentions of transphobia. suicide mention.


otherwise, i'm feeling a whole lot of nothing right now. other than wanting to go absolutely feral.

My new job did not work out. :')
This isn't entirely bad, since I'm not forcing myself to stay in a rather toxic work environment, but I still don't like being jobless.
I've already been putting in apps, so hopefully one calls back.

If it hadn't been for past behavior by some of the game staff I would have either chalked this up to coincidence, or thought it was intentionally chosen as a way to honor the people who have lost their lives, especially considering the content of the game itself.

But seeing how a couple of highly-visible members of the team have commented in the past... it's still possible to be a coincidence, but if it is intentional it's for a far more negative reason. Ugh.

one of them is legit platforming white supremacists / neo-nazis.

on an unrelated note: fuck whoever designed windows 7, it's not releasing the RAM properly. god fucking damn, if i click the X on a program, it is supposed to close and *RELEASE THE DAMN RAM*. not stay open like some 24-hour convenience store.

[image of eric andre, labelled RAM, screaming next to a barred fence, shouting: "LET ME OUT!!!!"]

EDIT: yet another rant, PROMISES DON'T PAY OUR FUCKING BILLS.

"Platforming" someone shouldn't be a reason to judge the host if they're being fair about it; it doesn't necessarily reflect on the host's opinions. I'm more concerned about the blatant TERF attitude that one of the devs has doubled down on.

tw for suicide shite

I believe in you, Francisco :)
I know it's hard looking for work these days. ;-;

My fwb is also looking for work and it's really messing him up. :(

Yeah, job hunting can really take a toll. :')

i'm very tired and thinking about putting up a postmortem for one of my rp blogs, because i haven't had the muse for him for some time now. i think it started when i lost the ability to make a decent drawing of him.

also, working through old wounds, y'know?

Definitely. :(
I think it's hard for him too because truthfully, he's very accomplished, but jobs are just hard to come by these days and it's making him feel inadequate.

If you need a cheerleader, I'll be the one! :D
It hurts when I see fwb so sad due to joblessness.

Yeah, I feel that. I really only feel useful when I'm either working or making art, but only one of those pays unfortunately.

Thanks. :'D Tell him I said good luck.

Ah, was wondering when that migraine was finally going to kick in

....okay, what did I do to my dominant shoulder *this* time

Ra ra ra, Francisco's gonna get the job!
Ra ra ra, because Francisco works hard!!!

*pom poms swaying*

For my daily awful;
I was supposed to take a class starting Monday.
I was looking forward to it, and had been preparing for it and everything...

But. There was an error on the school's side. They sold me the wrong class (They sold me a non-existent class) and now I am being refunded.
>:(

I mean, I guess it's good I get my money back...
But I'm really pissed off that I can't take this class. I'd been looking forward to it for weeks now.

Now I've got to find a new school AND new class to take... and classes usually start the first of the month. Ugh! >n<

Had a random muscle cramp in my thigh earlier today, and I can still sorta feel it...>~>; Ehh...doesn't hurt but...gah, why?? Who authorized muscle cramps??! They're so unessesary..

I have so much work to do, to write, to draw, to catch up on...>-> today and tomorrow are going to be stressful and tough to get through, as I have a tendency to try and avoid doing work as much as possible..