Short answer: We walk on two feet and have unreasonably enormous brains.
Mega Man: The Light of Will (Mega Man / Green Lantern crossover: In the lead-up to the events of Mega Man 2, Dr. Wily has discovered emotional light technology. How will his creations change how humankind thinks about artificial intelligence? Sadly abandoned. Sufficient Velocity x-post)
Games by Coda (updated 11/24/2019 - New game: Jigsawmino) Art by Coda (updated 4/20/2020 - untitled original music)
;U; ...why does thinking about my future plans in life make me so depressed?..*is now totally bummed out and confused as to what on earth I am even doing*
^^^Click to go to my pond hangout^^^ ^^^ Click to go to my frickin' art shop ^^^
;U; ...why does thinking about my future plans in life make me so depressed?..*is now totally bummed out and confused as to what on earth I am even doing*
It's pretty common. The future is a big unknown, and especially for young people "the rest of your life" is a really long time compared to "your life so far." This on its own can be enough cause for anxiety, but combined with the weight of looming decisions that seem like they could impact the rest of your life it's really not unusual to get overwhelmed.
Take solace in the thought that few decisions are ever truly final, and that it's both normal and expected that you'll be considering a lot of different avenues along the way. You're not alone in what you're feeling.
Mega Man: The Light of Will (Mega Man / Green Lantern crossover: In the lead-up to the events of Mega Man 2, Dr. Wily has discovered emotional light technology. How will his creations change how humankind thinks about artificial intelligence? Sadly abandoned. Sufficient Velocity x-post)
Games by Coda (updated 11/24/2019 - New game: Jigsawmino) Art by Coda (updated 4/20/2020 - untitled original music)
;u; Feel like I'm alone in the sense that people like me are everywhere but they're actually doing a way better job than I am, and are way stronger for having been in worse places, gone through worse pasts, and still able to do more than I can...
;n; I think, I think too much, and as a result I'm never staying in the present. Always stressed about tomorrow and the next week and the next month and the next year, but push it into the back of my mind, because I'm too busy thinking about the past and my youth and my pain and my old things. <x{
Currently, just worried and mega stressed about what to do next year about school. ;_; I don't want to register for any classes, as this last semester was just painfully hard to get through. But I can't just bum around and recharge either. ;n; Even though I want to for the whole world...
I'm thinking about going up to live with my dad for a while, and getting used to a better and healthier routine, with exercise, better things to eat, and regular sleep. <:c I don't like being put to work, and I don't like being so delicate, but I'm hoping to recover myself at least so I feel better physically, and handle work without feeling like a damn slave. Q-Q
He's got adulting stuff to teach me, even though we're very different people and totally don't agree with each other politically or spiritually, and I think he's been missing from my life for a good chunk of years. <:c And I know my mom is not going to like me deciding to skip a school semester for a while, but I don't think she knows how lost I feel in school and at home. <n<; Not sure I want to go back to school until I know what I want a degree in, and until I have the strength and confidence of an average person. <x} Because what I got is nada.
^^^Click to go to my pond hangout^^^ ^^^ Click to go to my frickin' art shop ^^^
To be honest I think the average person does not have that much confidence and strength. People can look very okay while being almost down to their breaking point. Just like it always seems everyone got their shit together, since you only see the result and not how much trial and curses went into it.
Ah fuck. Hello massive spike in my anxiety levels (as in such a high spike that I'm trying hard not to cry rn)! Please don't die in the next approx 26 hours Shade and Batty! I miss my kitties already!
T_T
;-; Why? Why is it whenever I eat anything remotely fast-foody and/or filling do I get a stomachache with gas and such discomfort?? ;_; </3 Digesting things is terrible..and this has to happen on Christmas eve??? REALLyyy??
^^^Click to go to my pond hangout^^^ ^^^ Click to go to my frickin' art shop ^^^
My awful;
My dad is very sad because his family is in town, but they don't really care if they see him (or us) at all. And I feel really bad because my dad loves his family a lot and he's sacrificed a lot for them to have things they wanted/needed before he married my mom.
My uncle is a great person and sees us as often as he can.
But my aunt and cousins are in town, but they have never really reached out to us even before we moved here. They don't sent presents on Christmas, they don't even text to say "Happy Holidays" or anything.
Before I graduated high school, my aunt said, "Well definitely come to Ava's graduation!" And we sent them an invite... go figure. They never came. Never even sent a graduation gift.
I feel for my dad... He may not be the greatest person in the world, but I'll be damned if he doesn't love his family! He works so hard to make everyone happy. Even as a child, anything I ever wanted, he would go out the next day and buy it. Didn't matter how expensive or how rare. He bent over backwards to make me happy and never go without something I wanted...
I know he likely did the same thing for his younger sister..
He's very sad that she's being this way. It really hurts me actually to see him this upset.
"Peleamos otra vez
La casa está encendida
Si me quedo es suicida
Dices que no lo volves' a hacer
Promesas que no oigo
Yo ya te conozco"
Ugh. Can we please go home yet? It's after 5pm. It's a 1.5-2 hour trip. I have work tomorrow. I have already endured the "your life sucks and you're living wrong", "x didn't go to church in the morning" shaming, dinner, and "singing the praises of my 'golden child who can do no wrong'" protions of the evening. Can we please just skip the "forcing everyone to play board/card games" portion and take me home?
@ Kaderin: B/ Omg, I'd nope out of all of that entirely. I'm so glad my fam only makes me clean and participate in helping to make cookies, bunuelos, and tamales.
<.<; I was kinda nervous that they'd take us to church today too, but luckily we had a late and extended lunch and too much to do in the morning. >w> Besides I had more Christmas spirit in the morning when I woke up sleepy as hell, than probably our entire block. I take Christmas time seriously yo. No religious or melodramatic diversions of any kind! >:[
I actually interrupted the cardinal's televised message in the morning, about the "true meaning of Christmas in faith" with the yule log and music. I was rollin' my eyes about, "Jesus Christ represents the joy in all of us," and "God gives as we give and we should give thanks to the Lord for such a time of giving," blah blah blah. I'm not gonna bash on Christianity or Catholicism, and I don't condemn them or dismiss them, or anything. <:/ Cause it's part of some people's identities and it helps them n' all through thick and thin. But I'm agnostic than the rest of my fam, and I feel I know the message better than the people who I think waste time listening to someone tell them something they already know and have heard for years, while singing for themselves and dragging their kids and whole families to a place they didn't really want to spend an hour in. /B] That time coulda been spent actually living the message rather than hearing it again. And guilting someone into not attending church is honestly less Christian than their treatment of the most anticipated holiday of the year.
<W< My mum and gran were like, "why did you do that? I was listening. I didn't get to hear the Christmas message." And I was all, /:D "You guys have been alive longer than I have and you don't know about the Christmas message???" Like, you need someone to remind you about unconditional love to your family and neighbors and to have an open, generous and thankful heart??? /xD Wahhh? I've stopped goin' to church for a year and a half, and even I know that! Sorry to rant so much. ^^;; It's just I had seen like huge crowds of people all squeezing into and around churches, >-> and not enough people kind enough to hold a door open for someone elderly or physically impaired, compliment someone on their clothes, or give something to the guy on the corner trying to sell fruit in 62 degree weather.
I yanked them away from their TV in the morning and dragged them all to the front where the tree and presents all were, so we could open them together, and actually be present as a family in ONE room. B[ Because it's crissmiss goddammit! And everyone had a nice time!..until we had to get to work, and they went right back to watching crime dramas and stuff. <x} Go figure, old habits...*shrug* well, it was nice while it lasted.
^^^Click to go to my pond hangout^^^ ^^^ Click to go to my frickin' art shop ^^^
Yeah...my dad likes to be all "I'm not gonna make you go to church in the morning, that's on your conscience" and then turns around and tries to shame me for not going to church in the morning.
If I lived just a little farther away...just far enough that he couldn't send my brother to pick me up, I could avoid all the gd xmas drama.
I could just have a quiet day....sleep in, unwrap presents with Derpy (yeah...I do that), snuggle the kitties.
But nooooo. Instead every year I have to endure emotional abuse.