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Still dealing with cold nonsense.

back-to-college blues. any big change brings the blues out. ugh.

got a new phone, had to ask dad to help count up my money bc i fucking suck ass at math.

also have to transfer my email and shit over to it. which comes with security alerts because! having two phones is against google's security!

Welp. That went about as well as expected. “At least I didn’t get disowned” shouldn’t be the baseline for coming out.

*offers hugs to Espy*

had to change url + profile image on my personal tumblr, softblocked somebody that i know is trying to monitor me. like, m8, if you were actually interested in shit that i had to say or my art, you'd be reblogging it, not just sitting there.

edit: i do have my old url saved in the case that i want to change back, which i will in a couple of months. it's just mildly annoying bc i know that a couple of my friends have been through that sort of thing before.

So....

*hugs* I know how that goes. I was on a medication with a liver toxicity warning for a few years when I was younger. Had to get blood work on a regular basis to keep an eye on things. My doctor eventually found a good alternative to switch me over to, though it's an irritating amount of red tape to keep the refills coming. (In part I blame the clinic I use right now and I'm thinking about switching...)

My dad's doctor is extremely incompetent. x( So we're hoping to switch to one who actually knows how to do their job.

have you been tested on any alternatives, ava? if so, then they might work better than your current medication w/o all the side effects.

I hear you on that. Regular blood draws are awful to me...
I managed to get my mom to talk to a pharmacist about my dizziness and they said it's not likely due to my missed doses, but to keep an eye out anyway.
I was given Pedialyte in the hospital, so I think it's more of dehydration, but most drugs in this class of medications can affect hydration, especially when the weather is pretty warm.
So... I'm drinking that nasty Pedialyte again, but at the least I can say I'm no longer as dizzy.

It's really hard to find decent doctors here! In USA, I mean. :(
It feels like most doctors here really only care about one thing.... money.
And if you do get lucky enough to find a "good" doctor, they usually are overworked and burned out eventually...
I hope you're able to find a new doctor for your dad. :(

I've tried most of the other medications out there...
I'm taking clozapine right now, and it's considered the "absolute last resort" medication for treating refractory schizophrenia...
I've tried so many other medications, as well as medication combinations... The problem is, apparently with schizophrenia only 50% or so of patients respond to antipsychotics, but unfortunately the main treatment for schizophrenia is antipsychotics.

Catch-22 I guess?

ah, yeah.

do you reckon cognitive behavioural therapy would help you?

Feels like I'm being attacked left and right today uwu

You have no idea how long I sat here staring at this post thinking to myself, ".... I don't know.. should I even be talking about my MH issues right now?"

I always feel awkward talking about it on forums that aren't meant for mental health things...

I'm currently in CBT with a therapist that specializes in schizophrenia treatment actually.

She's really kind and good at what she does I guess,
But it's no replacement for medication, unfortunately...

Oof. I hate that feeling :(
When I feel attacked... I just cry.

i mean, a lot of daily awfuls tend to intersect w/ mental health issues.

also this one guy keeps following me even after i've softblocked him (blocked, then unblocked). i've changed urls. changed profile picture.

let's see if he follows yet again.

So...the work schedule at JoAnn is supposed to be out for 2 weeks in advance.
Stopped in today because it's Friday and I happened to be picking up a package at a UPS store 6 blocks away anyway and I don't work tomorrow but I need to know my schedule for next week. And it's STILL not ready.
It never is, but for a while there it was almost ready 1 week in advance, which was nice.

So I'll have to call tomorrow evening to find out my schedule. For next week.