Log In

It's survivable. It's not the worst thing I've ever had to deal with, not by a long shot. It's just... unpleasant. Messes with my head.

can people just straight-up not talk to me for no apparent reason other than to be friendly while i'm at the shop

i don't like talking to strangers and i'll interact with you on my own damn terms, for god's sake.

This happened yesterday but......

We had to say goodbye to one of our kitties yesterday. ;_;

;-;
I need to wake up early tomorrow for class, but...sad thoughts of sadness...they won't let me sleep! Xc

I hate that. ;u; Wishing you a night of sleep.

i ended up throwing up while travelling w/ my dad to the cash n' carry. :/

thought i was over the travel sickness thing, but apparently not. :T

Me,
when I've done my best to keep in my irl friend's social group loop,
but I'm doing all the texting and no one ever texts back to check in with me,
and then my mind just tells me over and over again
that they hate you,
they don't care,
they think you're annoying,
and not worth their time,
they forgot you,
and they have better friends than you
so why should the heck should they text your pathetic ass back and wonder about you at all?
And then I stop caring because what's the point,
all while lamenting what could have been so nice to have,
but I guess I'll have to go it alone again for now...and at least I can say that I tried.

And I let it go, and shrug with a,
<8/ "Welp...guess I'll go back to coping now."
And then return to the night goblin life once more:

Hey friends!

Sorry I've not been as active here.
I've been super busy. :( Like, it's "good" but also crazy!

For every "good" thing that's happened to me... three "bad" things also happened at the same time.

Even the silliest, littlest of things has been setting off my anxiety, and in turn, messing up the rest of my mental health. I'm seeing my psychiatrist tomorrow and hoping that seeing her will help a little.

I'm super worried about my therapist as well..
She's pregnant and with this coronavirus spreading, it's really making me nervous to even see her.

I hate everything D:<

Or to be more specific, I hate those who feel the need to raid all the grocery stores and hoard all the crap. Winco tonight was PACKED, some stuff was out(not anything we needed tHANK gOD Dx ) and idiots abandon carts in the MIDDLE OF THE FUKKING AISLES.

>8[ So many people outside being paranoid freaks!
>X{ It's so annoying and embarrassing,
it just makes me want to outright scold people and question their sanity!
But I can't because I'm busy, B[ I have chores to do,
and video games to play.

"It's cold and snowing again and mama's fwiend said Santa was coming again but he didn't and I'm a good dwagon! Why didn't Santa come?"
Derpy burrows into a pile of blankets, pouting.

JFC, so there aren't even any cases in the state I live in yet, but there's talk of closing one of my jobs down (to the public, not to employees thankfully) for a week, no more private rentals, etc.
Which is, unfortunately, setting off a little spark of anxiety in me because if the business ends up closing down to employees too just because of panic, I'll be homeless, because it's the job that covers my rent and most of my bills....

Yeah, the hoarding is ridiculous. I went to the store to get toilet paper, because I was starting to run low so it was time to get a new pack, and that's when I discovered that a case of COVID-19 had been identified in Little Rock and every roll of toilet paper in the state of Arkansas disappeared within the next few hours.

A lot of shutdowns here. Lines outside of grocery stores. I went to a few grocery stores yesterday and couldn't get some things because of how everything was picked over. I don't have much freezer space to stock up and usually go through frozen vegetables really quickly, so hopefully they can catch up soon.

<x'] Feelin' really alone and empty today...I say as I race online, contemplating my purpose and dwelling on where I went wrong and how terribly terrible I am at socializing and cannot make friends if my life depended on it... ;U; nor can I be friends with my old friends because I am a self-sabotaging piece of garbage. <x'} </3

Are you gaining access to my thoughts? We can be alone together, if that helps.