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Super excited that the weekend is getting closer! Soon I will buy a new chair for my living room (maybe. Still debating getting it now or waiting a bit to see if it goes clearance...) and also will buy Derpy his first car!

<x'D I'm so desperate for some friendly multiplayer video game time, I'm willing to play against my mom in Monopoly.

i am begging this one dude to shut up about his fucking boyfriend if he's going to bitch about his sister not shutting up about her boyfriend.

I'm mad at myself for not being a better adult earlier on and having little to no debt and actually have savings because there's a sort of tiny house I want, but I would need to be able to buy land to put it on plus buy it and also then get water and electric hooked up to it. And I can't even afford a cheap used car right now.
:c

But I want it so badly that I took pictures of it, inside and out. And someday, I'll hopefully be able to afford it.

fan to our computer is running, not sure what's causing that, given that CPU usage isn't too bad and neither is the memory usage.

My mom is HUGE on making "Vision boards",
She has so many pictures of herself behind the wheels of a Mercedes and she has it on her vision board. :)

I told her recently that she should have another board for all the things on the vision board that have already been accomplished.

I think there's nothing wrong with picturing yourself (literally) in your dream car.

I don't care about getting a car. It's the $70k+ small house, not including land to put it on and hooking up electric and water that I'm mad at my past self about. I haven't had a car for like 5 or 6 years and really haven't needed one too much in all that time.
But would kill to have my own house so I don't have to deal with obnoxious neighbors and can have a craft room that the cats can't get into and not have to deal with landlords who never actually fix the things you need fixed.

GPU? Disk usage? Maybe it's just a little warm in your house.

probably. it has been getting warmer.

I made another attempt to go grocery shopping by myself this week... My mom was waiting in the parking lot.

Again, failed. I stood in line for a good 10 minutes or so, which is longer than I've waited by myself before.
I started panicking a bit, and ended up just leaving the line....


It feels so stupid that this is such a struggle for me. My anxiety just gets so much worse when I'm by myself. I worry about people trying to hurt me in some way, or kidnapping me. I did not think that this would be so difficult. It's a bit discouraging...

One of the few things I had to look forward to has been neglected for quite some time now and it's making it a lot harder to get through the day.

I don't want to sound negative, because you're still trying and that's wonderful! I'm glad you're still working towards your goal.

I just wonder if maybe you're trying to rush it/take too big of a step all at once. Maybe start with smaller steps like having someone walk with you to grab the items, then wait outside while you pay and gradually work towards them only being with you for half the shopping and eventually being able to shop with them in the car until you can eventually go by yourself.

Sounds like you've got a lot of worries and anxieties, which I think could make it harder to jump in headfirst. I'm sure it's frustrating, but smaller steps may be easier to handle? Just a suggestion.

Either way, I really hope it gets easier, I'm sure you can do it!

kaderin has good advice there.

dad had to let someone borrow the car bc his rabbit was sick.

In other news: how the hell did I end up with so many nail polishes?!? I'm close to 2/5 done with redoing my swatch sticks and have already done 108 polishes!

um...
;-;
I have no clue what to do.
Think I'll go watch a movie or something...

I appreciate your advice, Kaderin :)

Unfortunately I had a bit of a set back last night...
My "paranoia" was kicked up due to something a person I know said, and I'm currently feeling extremely discouraged and even though I planned to complete my goal this month, it doesn't look like it's going to happen.
My set back really messed with my head.

I'm not going to make any more attempts at all for the rest of this month, most likely...

It actually really upset me very much, and I was going to start isolating myself because of this experience, but I am trying to break that habit of holding things in like that... Or at the very least, I'm trying to not isolate. I want to get into others' worlds too